Category: At The Checkout


It Was An Itsy-Bitsy Pound Zucchini

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Employees

(I went to the store to pick up ingredients for dinner, which includes vegetables and canned goods. At the checkout, you can swipe your card to pay before the cashier has finished scanning everything. Just as the cashier is done weighing the zucchini, I notice that one of the cans is partially on the scale which of course would skew the price.)

Me: “I don’t think that was one pound of zucchini.”

Cashier: *pauses, looks back at the zucchini* “I don’t think it’s one pound either.”

(She attempts to void the zucchini, but as I’ve already swiped my card, the system won’t process it. After a moment she calls for help from a manager.)

Cashier: *to me* “This has never happened to me before.” *explains to manager*

Manager: “Well, let’s try this.”

(He grabs a can from the bags and gradually slides it onto the scale.)

Manager: *explaining* “We have to get the exact weight, or else it won’t void.” *slides can a little* “No.” *slide* “Nope.” *slide* “Nooooope.” *slaps can entirely on the scale* “Well, this isn’t working.”

(He eventually decides to finish checking me out, then processes the zucchini as a “defective product” return. And rather than starting a new transaction just for the zucchini, he bags them and hands me my groceries.)

Manager: “On the house. Okay?” *thumbs up as he starts heading back to his station* “Okay.”

(But then he’s not even there a second before some other cashier flags him down.)

Manager: *heading over there* “Why are you guys so needy?!”


Never Too Old For A Pissing Contest

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(A man who appears to be in his 90s is ahead of me in line at the supermarket. Among his purchases is a bottle of bourbon. The cashier, going on automatic pilot, asks…)

Cashier: “May I see your ID, sir?”

Man: “Son, I’ll be mixing that bourbon with this Ensure, and then pissing it out into these Depends. I assure you I’m old enough to buy it.”


Maybe They Just Used The Bag Instead

| USA | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Employees, Rude & Risque

(So I just recently started working at a store. I’ve only been working a few days when a couple comes up and has condoms. I forget to put them in with their other items.)

Me: “Oh, darn. I forgot to bag their condoms.”

Coworker: “You just ruined their night, man.” *a few months later I see the same couple*

Me: “Hey, you remember that couple that I forgot the condoms for? I just saw them…”

Coworker: “Was the girl pregnant?”


Surviving The Spiel Game

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees

(I am visiting the local game store for the first time in four months. This chain used to have a bad reputation for corporate forcing employees to pester customers, but in recent years they’ve gotten a lot better. At least until…)

New Employee: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Me: “No, thanks, just browsing.”

New Employee: “No problem. Is there anything you wanted to pre-order? You only need to put $5 down!”

Me: “No… thank you, still just browsing.”

(A few minutes later, as I’m checking out.)

New Employee: “Ah, I see you have our customer rewards card. Would you be interested in upgrading to the platinum card for $30 to get a discount on all your future purchases?”

Me: “No, thanks. I just want to buy the game.”

New Employee: “Are you sure? You also get a subscription to our magazine, delivered to your door every month.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

New Employee: “All right. Was there anything you wanted to pre-order while you were here?”

Me: “Still nope. Just want to buy the game.”

New Employee: “Can I interest you in $3 disc protection for your game?”

Me: “No, thank you. Just the game.”

New Employee: “All right, your purchase comes to $16!”

Me: “Can you level with me? Do they really force you to say that spiel to every customer?”

New Employee: “We get written up if we don’t.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure corporate has no idea that tactic just scares people away.”

New Employee: “No kidding.”

(Sometimes corporate is so out-of-touch with how humans actually interact. No one in that scenario, I, the employee, or the supervisor grinning from behind her, thought harassing customers with extra crap made people want to come back.)


Talking Eurotrash

| Belgium | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Money

(After winning €50 on a lottery scratch card, I go to the newsagent’s to cash it in and buy a new €10 ticket.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a [€10 ticket], please. And could you also pay out this one?”

(The cashier hands me a new ticket, takes my winning ticket, and looks at it in a rather annoyed way.)

Cashier: *in a quite pedantic tone* “You know, you really should scratch it more thoroughly so the QR code is completely uncovered; otherwise it’s too much work for me.”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, since when has the system changed? I thought all you needed was the 4-digit number in the corner, so I always make sure that’s fully visible.”

Cashier: *annoyed* “Yeah, well, they changed the system earlier this week and they came to install this stupid new computer terminal, without as much as a word of warning. So yeah, now we need to scan the QR code on each ticket.”

Me: “Okay, that’s good to know; I’ll bear it in mind for next time.”

(The cashier scans my winning ticket’s QR code, and the message “winning ticket: €50” pops up on the terminal’s screen.)

Cashier: *hesitates, looks at the winning ticket, then at the new ticket he’d just handed me, and then starts typing numbers into the cash register* “Right, minus the €10 for your new ticket, I owe you €28.”

Me: “Ehm, no… that would be €40. I won €50, the new ticket costs €10.

Cashier: *now obviously annoyed* “No, I don’t think so! It says €28 on the cash register. The register is always right!” *tries to hand me €28*

Me: “I’m quite sure it’s €40. Could you check my winning ticket again?”

Cashier: “No, I won’t! I never buy lottery tickets! I don’t know how any of that works! My register says your change is €28 so that’s what you’re getting! The register doesn’t make mistakes!” *slams down the money on the counter*

(At this moment, the next customer in line, who had clearly seen the “winning ticket: €50” message on the terminal’s screen, decides to speak up on my behalf:)

Customer: *to the cashier* “I’m sure this gentleman is right. I just saw him win €50!”

Cashier:  “Stay out of this!” *turns back to me* “Right, if money is obviously sooooo important to you, here’s your stinking two euros!”

(He grabs four 50ct coins from the till and slams them down on the counter, bringing the total change to €30.)

Me: *doing my best to remain icy calm* “Actually, you still owe me €10.”

Cashier: “Oh, really!? You know what?” *taking two €5 notes from the till, and throwing them on the counter* “Take it all! Take MY money! I hope you’re happy now! In fact, why don’t you go spend MY money right now? Buy a burger, why don’t you… and choke on it!”

Me: *walking to the exit with my €40* “Thanks for the tip, and pleasure doing business with you.”

(Although somehow I doubt I’ll go back there…)

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