Category: At The Checkout

Half-Witted By A Half-Dozen

| San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I go to the register and ask for a half-dozen doughnuts. The cashier looks at her manager.)

Cashier: “She wants six, right?”

(The poor manager had a look of pure shock on his face and just answered “yes.”)

Acting Like Soured Milk

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees

(I am 12 years old and on vacation to visit my grandparents in Texas. We are staying at their house and they live right next to a grocery store. My mother has me go there to pick up some eggs, milk, and some birdseed. When I get there it is fairly empty except for an elderly man and an employee. I go over to the dairy aisle to get the milk and I notice out of the corner of my eye the employee following me. I assume he is just walking past, but he stops right by me and I pretend not to notice. When I reach to grab the milk he rushes forward.)

Employee: “Here, let me help you with that.”

(He grabs a very small carton of milk rather than the large one I was reaching for.)

Me: “Oh, thank you, sir, but I need the larger one.”

(I pick up the larger milk jug and he makes an audible gasp. I nod at him and walk over to the produce. He follows. I grab a carton of eggs.)

Employee: “Do you need all of those?”

(I had grabbed a pack of a dozen.)

Me: “Um, yes.”

Employee: “I don’t think you can afford that.”

Me: “I have the money here.” *gestures at my pocket*

Employee: “But you don’t need all those eggs.”

Me: “I do. I’m shopping for my grandparents.”

(I move away towards the pet aisle for the bird seed. I grab a rather small bag. The employee is still following me. I walk to the check out thing and the employee doesn’t move to check me out.)

Me: “Pardon me, sir, would you mind checking me out? Sorry to bother you.”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Employee: “You have been continually rude to me and I have a right as a working citizen of America to turn down who I serve.”

Me: “…”

(He does not check me out and I end up leaving without my groceries. As I’m walking up to my grandparents someone calls from behind me. I turn to see the elderly man from the store.)

Elderly Man: “Hey! Hey kid!”

(He’s carrying a shopping bag.)

Me: “Hello?”

(The man silently hands me the bag and turns to leave. I open the bag and see the birdseed, eggs, and milk I had been trying to buy.)

Me: “Thank you!”

Elderly Man: *just smiles*

In A Vegetative State, Part 2

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s well past midnight; my partner and I have been travelling for over an hour and we have each had an incredibly long day. There is a well-known fast-food place at the end of my road, and as we’re both starving we decide to go get some food. The place is empty. He just wants a couple of orders of fries but I fancy a burger. They only offer two vegetarian burgers: the spicy vegetarian deluxe and the regular vegetarian deluxe. I go to order.)

Cashier: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like a spicy vegetable deluxe burger.”

Cashier: “Which one?” *this isn’t the first time I’ve ordered the spicy version, so I’m well used to them clarifying the type I want*

Me: “The spicy one.”

Cashier: “The buffalo one?”

Me: “No, the spicy vegetable deluxe burger.”

Cashier: “The Texas one?”

Me: “No, the vegetable deluxe.” *points to it on the menu board*

Cashier: “Oh, you want a wrap?”

Me: “No, a vegetarian burger. Right there.” *I point*

Cashier: *looks confused* “Vegetarian?”

Me: “Made of vegetables? No meat?”

Cashier: *more confused looks*

Me: *seeing this is getting me nowhere* “Forget it. I’ll just get three large fries, to take away, please.”

Cashier: “So just the fries?” *enters one portion into the till*

Me: “Three portions, please.” *hold up three fingers*

Cashier: *looks confused*

(At this point another cashier comes over.)

Cashier #2: “She wants three large fries.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay.” *inputs in the till and I finally pay*

(I always try and be patient with people who are new to the job, or people who may speak English as a second language — I don’t see the point in giving people a hard time if they’re still learning — but this woman wasn’t wearing a trainee badge, and was clearly as English as I am.)

In A Vegetative State

What Price Obviousness?

| Holyoke, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees

Me: “I’d like a bag of popcorn, please.”

Cashier: “Large or small?”

Me: “What’s the difference?”

Cashier: “One is bigger.”

Me: “I meant price.”

Totally Hung-Over It

| Ayr, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Underaged

(I am 19 years old and on holiday in Ayr with my family. I have a bit of a hangover (the drinking age in Scotland is 18, and I am from Scotland myself). We have gone to the supermarket to pick up some food and I go to a checkout to buy some paracetamol for my hangover headache.)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands over my driving license*

Cashier: “I can’t sell these to you.”

Me: “Huh? Why?”

Cashier: “You’re not 25.”

Me: “So? It’s challenge 25. That means if someone looks younger than 25, they have to provide ID to prove they are old enough, which I am.”

Cashier: “No. You have to be 25 to buy these.”

Me: “Are you joking? I have a hangover from LEGALLY drinking alcohol last night. I could be married and have children LEGALLY. I can gamble and smoke if I want to. But I can’t get a god-d*** painkiller to get rid of my headache!?”

Cashier: “No. You can’t. You have to be 25. I’m not selling them to you. Leave.”

Me: “F*** this. I’ll get my dad to buy them. I can’t be f***ed with this.”

(I did have to get my dad to buy them. Still infuriates me to this day that she didn’t have a bloody clue on the challenge 25 policy. I should have asked for her manager, but I was so hungover I just wanted it to be over with.)

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