Category: At The Checkout


Not Totally How Are You

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly

(This happened at work today, I read these sites all the time and never thought something like this would happen to me ever, but it happened today. I work retail, and we get some interesting customers.)

Me: *I’m ringing up a guy’s purchase* “Your total is [total].”

Guy: “I’m doing fine.”

Me: “Umm, what? I said your total is [total].”

Guy: “I thought you asked ‘how are you?'”

Me: ” No, but anyway how are you?”

Guy: “…”

(He never replied to that, and I told my coworker about it, and she laughed. One of the more interesting days at work.)


Not Leaving The Trainee In The Cold

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Technology

(I am purchasing a few items from a one-stop-shopping kind of store, and approach the check-out with my purchases. I get in line at a check-stand and note that the clerk’s tag says that he’s a new employee. I figure this may take a few extra minutes if he’s still learning the system, but I’m not in any hurry. He scans my tissues, snacks, and cold medicine, and I hand him my ID. He stares at it for a moment, not sure what to do with it. There must have been a lag in the system, because there’s a beat or so before a screen pops up, asking for him to check my ID.)

Clerk: “Oh!” *he laughs* “I guess you know the system better than I do!”

(I smile.)

Me: “No, it’s just that I’ve had this dumb cold for a while now, and the great state of [State] wants to make sure that I’m not Walter White.”


Infantile Inflation

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am teasing a customer’s daughter, who is absolutely not falling for my lies.)

Girl: “How much is the candy?”

Me: “A million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “Nuh-uh!”

Me: “Yup… million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “No, it isn’t!”

(A few minutes later, she notices one of the items on the shelves behind me.)

Girl: “What are those?”

Me: “They’re jars to put candy in. They cost five dollars, plus the price of candy.”

(She nods.)

Me: “And the candy is a million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “It is NOT!”


You Want The New Burger? Fancy That!

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am going through the drive-thru to pick up a [New Fancy Burger] that has just been released.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant. Would you like to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Yes, just the sandwich.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “A [New Fancy Burger], just the sandwich.”

Employee: “Yes, we have [New Fancy Burger].”

Me: “Good, I’ll take one.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “[New Fancy Burger].”

Employee: “Wait, you want a [New Fancy Burger]?”

Me: *face-palming* “Yes, PLEASE!”

Employee: “Oh, okay. That’s one [Not New Fancy Burger] and did you want to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Never mind.”


I Prefer Beer From Ginger Myself

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

(I am checking out at the grocery store. The cashier scans most of my items, but leaves a few sitting out, and makes a call on the intercom:)

Cashier: “Seven on three. Seven on three.”

(I wait for a while as she stands, tapping her feet. I wonder why she doesn’t complete my transaction. Then I take a harder look at the groceries she didn’t ring up.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Ginger beer is non-alcoholic.”

(She turns beet red and scans the soda..)

Me: “When my brother-in-law was a kid, he got into an argument with the 7-11 cashier. She kept saying, ‘Beer from root! Beer from root!'”

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