Category: At The Checkout

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Surviving On $1.24

| WY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Politics

(This occurs just after the 2016 Presidential election, when disappointment and tensions are high on the losing side.)

Cashier: “Hi there, how’re you doing today?”

Me: “Oh, pretty well, how about you?”

Cashier: “Oh, you know, surviving.”

Me: “Yeah, sometimes that’s all you can do.”

Cashier: “Sometimes it’d be nice to do something besides just survive, you know?”

Me: *after a pause* “I almost made a political comment, but that might not be a good idea.”

Cashier: *quietly* “I think I know the comment you were going to make, and I know how you feel.” *louder* “Okay, your total is $25.24 today.”

Me: “Crap, I only have $24 in bills; I’m going to have to give you some change.”

Cashier: “Here, let me fix that.” *knocks $1.24 off the bill*

(Pause.)

Cashier: “I’m sure there was something in there that should be on sale.”

(I don’t know if it was just because the store was so busy and he didn’t want to wait for me to count coins, or if it was political commiseration, but it made my night!)

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Her Stress Is Ballooning

| New London, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Employees

(My boyfriend and I walk through the checkout line with a package of balloons.)

Cashier: *very friendly* “Will that be all today?”

Me: “Actually, could we get a couple of these inflated?”

Cashier: *suddenly distraught* “You want me to inflate all of them?!”

Me: “Uh, no, just five or so…”

Cashier: *sighing and visibly annoyed* “Okay, fine. But this is going to take a while.”

(She proceeds to inflate five balloons and tie strings onto them, sighing throughout the whole thing. Note that it is about three pm on a weekday. There are only a few other customers in the store, and several other registers open. At one point another customer gets in line behind us.)

Cashier: *very loudly and obviously annoyed, to the other customer* “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to go around. I have to inflate all of these balloons. It’s going to take a long time.”

(This happens one more time after this, and neither of the other customers seemed to be in any kind of hurry. She finishes the balloons and hands them to us. The whole process took about three minutes.)

Cashier: “Will THAT be all today?”

Me: “Uh… yup. That’s all.”

(She rang us up, I paid, and we left. Neither my boyfriend nor I could understand why inflating five balloons was so stressful!)

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All They Can Hear Is Spatula-la-la

| Newark, DE, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I have the combination of a love of pizza and an unusual allergy to an ingredient used in pepperoni. As such, whenever I end up at the local mall’s food court and get pizza I ask them to use a clean spatula to get my slices to avoid contamination. I’ve literally just watched the employee pick up pepperoni pizza, and the slices of pepperoni that had started to slide off, when he asks for my order.)

Me: “Could I get two slices of cheese please? And I don’t want to sound difficult but I have a food allergy. Could you use a clean spatula?”

Employee: “Sure!” *uses the same spatula he had JUST used to pick up one of my slices*

Me: “Sir, I just saw you use that on the pepperoni. I can’t eat that now.”

Employee: “It didn’t touch it!”

Me: “I LITERALLY just WATCHED you!”

Employee: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Me: “Get a CLEAN spatula, and use THAT for my slices, PLEASE.”

(The employee makes a big huff about having to get a new spatula, while he’s gone another employee asks if I’ve been helped and I explain the situation, the customer next in the line backing up my story. The second apologizes and after I get to the register where a third employee is, this happens.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but do you know if they swapped both slices out or just the one?”

Employee #3: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I have an allergy to the pepperoni, the first guy tried to use the contaminated spatula to get my slices. I just wanted to know if he used a clean spatula so I can actually EAT this.”

Employee #2: *races over* “We used the green one.”

Me: “That’s not what I’m asking.”

Employee #2: “We have the normal one we use for all pizza, and then the green one for the vegetarian.”

Me: “Okay, but was my CONTAMINATED slice swapped out or do I need to worry about getting hives all over my d*** body?”

Employee #1: *racing over as well* “WE USED THE GREEN ONE.”

(At this point I gave up since I’ve already paid, so I just take my pizza and eat. Thankfully, they’d replaced the contaminated slice.)

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A Tray Slay

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Employees

Me: “Just this, thanks.”

Cashier: “No tray, no service.”

Me: “But I only want this…”

Cashier: “No tray, no service.”

Me: “I heard you the first time, but—”

Cashier: “NO TRAY, NO SERVICE!”

Me: “FINE!”

(I grab a tray and slam a single apple onto it.)

Me: “JUST THIS, THANKS!”

Cashier: *red faced* “50p, please.”

(Hands over 50p coin and puts tray back.)

Me: “Thank you.”

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I Want A Money-Order And Make It Snappy

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(My boyfriend is trying to do a money order, and I have gone with him. Note that he is a very well-mannered British man with no patience for impoliteness. He has also never done a money order before.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, I’d like to get a money order.”

(The cashier glares at him but says nothing. There is an awkward pause.)

Boyfriend: “Um, sorry, I said I’d like to get a money order.”

(Another pause. The cashier glares at him again. Finally, she snaps at him.)

Cashier: *loudly and rudely* “For how much?!”

Boyfriend: *taken aback* “Sorry, for $[amount].”

(He then turns to me with a very calm look on his face.)

Boyfriend: *in his very level, polite British accent* “I have never met someone so rude in my entire life.”

(Though I am bad at confrontation and have nothing to reply with, the cashier freezes. Her tone and demeanor immediately change.)

Cashier: “Would you like cash back?”

Boyfriend: “No, thank you.”

(The transaction finishes with the cashier being much meeker, and as we walk away:)

Me: “Some people just like to take their misery out on others. Sorry, love.”

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