Category: Coworkers

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Some Conversations Are Worth Patrolling

| Denver, CO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(My dad is a ski patroller and hears this little gem over the radio:)

Patroller #1: “[Patroller #1] to [Patroller #2].”

Patroller #2: “[Patroller #2] to [Patroller #1]. Go ahead.”

Patroller #1: “10-20.”

(For the readers: “10-20” is a term in Ten-Code basically asking for location.)

Patroller #2: “I… um… f***, where the h*** am I?!”

(Another time, during a morning meeting.)

Patroller #1: “Geez!” *holds up yogurt container* “I didn’t know yogurt could freeze!”

Patroller #2: “It’s called ‘frozen yogurt,’ dude…”

(And finally:)

Patroller #1: “What’s the weather report say?”

Patroller #2: “We may get something warm and wet… in the form of snow, of course…!”

(And for the records: Yes, all these incidents are from the exact same two patrollers.)

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Unable To Conveyer It To Him

| Hoofddorp, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(When the restaurant closes up for the night, our department takes away all the dishes, and cleans up the washing-up room, the coffee bar, and the dinner tables. Tonight I will be closing the coffee bar while my two colleagues will focus on the washing-up room. As we are getting near closing time, one of them starts picking up as many dishes as possible. Dishes are brought to the conveyor belt which brings them into the washing-up. After closing time, we usually block the conveyor belt in order to clean up the machines without being interrupted. Remaining dishes are then put on the nearby table. Tonight, however, I notice something odd. While my colleague, a temporary worker, is picking up all the trays and dishes, I see that the conveyor belt has already been closed by him, even while we’re still open.)

Me: “Sorry, did you close the conveyor belt already?”

Colleague: “Yeah, I’m emptying the dining hall right now.”

Me: *confused for not seeing the connection* “Yes, but why did you close the conveyor belt then?”

Colleague: “So that I could tidy up all the dishes from the dining hall quietly.”

Me: “But wouldn’t that go faster if you didn’t close up the conveyor belt already? I mean, that way, you wouldn’t have to pick up the trays of people who want to deliver their dishes themselves.”

Colleague: *really not getting it* “No, I thought this would be better.”

Me: “I really don’t see why you should close up the conveyor belt already.”

Colleague: “Oh, just so that I could tidy up all the dishes.”

(At that point, I decided to stop trying to explain the error in his totally illogical reasoning. Clearly, everything I said was not coming through.)

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The Conception Of Bad Products

| ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(We have a very low-end dollar store chain in Ontario, where everything used to be one dollar. It’s gone up a bit in price, but the products are exactly the same. I am working with a male co-worker.)

Me: “I can’t believe we have pregnancy tests. These are probably wrong 90% of the time!”

Coworker: “I know. I did one just for fun and it said I was pregnant.”

Me: “Congrats! The only way this could get better is if they sold protection.”

Coworker: “Buy one get one free?”

Me: “No, a combo pack!”

(Two years later we’ve both long-since quit and are browsing another store when we see them.)

Me: “Look! It’s a combo pack!”

Ex-Coworker: “That is just so wrong.”

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