Category: Coworkers

Try Out THAT School Of Thought

| OH, USA | Coworkers, School

(I work at a restaurant and I’m the only college-aged employee there. Everyone else is in their mid-30s to mid-40s. We’re scheduling shifts for the upcoming month.)

Coworker: “[My Name], can you take next Monday at 10:30?”

Me: “No, I have a class then.”

Coworker: *mockingly* “That’s right! You can’t work because you’ll be in school!”

Me: “At least I’m getting an education so I don’t have to work at [Restaurant] when I’m 40.”

(I quit a few months later.)

Multiple Email Fail

| WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Employees, Technology

(I am the only IT support in an office of 35. It is day one of our conversion to a new email spam filter. Some staff don’t adapt well to change.)

Supervisor: *irritated* “I am expecting an important email and I haven’t received it and it’s not in my junk list.”

Me: *sending a message to ISP* “Supervisor missing important email and still cannot login to new spam filter page to check.

ISP: “Okay, let’s see if we can resolve this spam filter issue once and for all today.”

Me: *sending a message to various staff* “Please attempt to login with your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS (e.g. [email protected]) and EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password.”

Staff Member #1: “I DID use my full email address and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Let’s try adding the part and tell me what happens.”

Staff Member #1: “OH! Okay, it works now.”

Staff Member #2: “I saw those emails about trying to log in and I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

Me: *thinking* “So instead you forced me to hunt you down via phone and walk you through it.”

Staff Member #3: “Nope, can’t login.”

Me: “Will you share your credentials with ISP so they can test from their end.”

ISP: “We have no problem logging in with these credentials from this end.”

Staff Member #3: “It works now!”

(I go to the supervisor, after two hours of these inane individual conversations with 18 staff members.)

Me: “Everyone but you can successfully log in to the new spam filter page. Could we please double check that you are using your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS, as in [email protected], and your EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password?”

Supervisor: “I AM using my full email address and email password. Still don’t have that important email!”

ISP: *to me* “Can we get the sender to verify the date/time/address sent. Unlikely but possible it was mis-routed. We could try tracking from this end if we had some more details.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Do we know for sure this important email was sent? Can you give me the contact name and phone so I can verify?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I will contact him.”

ISP: *to me* “Can you please attempt to observe Supervisor login to new spam filter and verify he is using the correct credentials?”

(Supervisor enters “first name” and “password”)

Supervisor: “See, it doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, but how about if we use your FULL email address? Can we try adding the part?”

(Logs in successfully.)

Supervisor: “Well, I never had to put that part in before!”

Me: *thinking* “What part of ‘FULL EMAIL ADDRESS’ did you not understand?” *actually saying* “”Well… now you do. And now you know it works.”

(Hours pass…)

ISP: *to me* “Any news on the missing important message? We’d like to clear this trouble ticket.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Any update on verifying details about this missing email?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I have sent a fax and an email message and haven’t heard anything back.”

Me: *thinking* “What the h*** is wrong with using a TELEPHONE?”

(Later I am talking to the big boss.)

Big Boss: “I don’t like the new spam filter interface as much as the old spam filter. And are you going to do some staff training on how to use it?”

Me: *eye twitches*

Temp Madness

| Buffalo, NY, USA | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

(I am a temp working on a big project. My boss is walking me through what I need to do, and the  spreadsheet isn’t populating correctly, so he’s mumbling under his breath as well. I am sitting next to him, but behind the cubicle wall, not visible.)

Coworker: “Are you talking to yourself, [Boss]?

Boss: “No, I am talking to my temp.”

Coworker: “Does your temp have a name?”

Boss: “No, we don’t use names so we don’t get attached.”

Raising The Joke

| QLD, Australia | Coworkers, Language & Words

(We’re at one of our weekly team lunches at a pub near our office. By this point, several colleagues have gone back to the office. Two of my workmates are at the far end of the table are talking, and I’m discussing baby names with another one. This colleague is a single mother.)

Me: “On another note, [Colleague], my wife and I will be going for a baby in a few months. Given that you’re a mother, I was wondering if I could ask you for advice—”

(At this point, she starts cracking up laughing, bent double over the table. I’m just able to make out what she says next.)

Colleague: “Advice on making the baby?”

Me: “That’s not what I meant! I should have phrased that better.”

(She nods, still laughing.)

Me: “I meant advice on raising the baby. You didn’t let me finish.”

Colleague: *still laughing* “Of course you can.”

(Once the laughter has subsided, I check that the other two workmates haven’t heard. They hadn’t.)

Me: “Please don’t tell anyone else about this.”

Colleague: *jokingly* “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who knows you.”

Donut Be Late!

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Time

(I am about to close the shop and get it ready for when I open tomorrow and the owner gives me a call.)

Owner: “Hey, just letting you know I’m going to have [Coworker] open with you tomorrow because it’s going to be a busy day.”

Me: “Okay, great! Thanks for letting me know!”

(The following morning comes, and I show up half an hour before opening to get the store ready, like usual. But an employee at another location calls with a ton of questions, so I’m behind on opening and people are starting to wait outside the door with no sign of my coworker. A couple minutes before I open the doors, I call her.)

Coworker: *answers phone, sounding groggy* “Hello?”

Me: “Hey, just wondering where you were. You were supposed to open with me this morning, and I’m about to open.”

Coworker: “Yeah, sorry, my alarm didn’t go off. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” *she lives over an hour away* “I’m going to pick up some donuts along the way.”

Me: “Um, okay… but I really need you to be here.”

Coworker: “Hey, I was in the military for 25 years. If you’re running late, you buy donuts.”

Me: “Sounds good. See you soon!”

(I was able to handle the morning rush which wasn’t as bad as anticipated because of the pouring rain. I wasn’t even mad because I just finished observing Passover (aka no bread or grains for a week) and got free donuts! Got to keep the extra, too!)

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