Category: Coworkers

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Doesn’t Get The Basic Print-siple

| UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a library. One of my coworkers approaches me with a sheaf of paper in her hands.)

Coworker: “So, how do I know when my print job has finished?”

Me: “Um, when the printer stops printing out paper?”

Coworker: “Well, I know that! But how do I know it’s actually finished?”

Me: “Do you have everything you sent to print?”

Coworker: “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

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A Hug(e) Sinus Problem

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I’ve been coughing, sneezing, and sniffling a lot the past few days. It’s only sinus drainage, so I’m not contagious, but one of my coworkers is a bit of a germaphobe.)

Coworker: “Um… do you mind stepping back a little, please?”

Me: “Would you like a hug?”

Coworker: “GET OUT OF HERE!”

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Probably Doesn’t Like Obamacare Either

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Coworkers

(I work for a company that stores and processes information for certain Medicaid plans. One of the plans is in New Mexico. We use the United States Postal Service website to verify members’ addresses that are not showing valid in our systems. A coworker is asking me a question about our New Mexico plan.)

Me: “All right, so their address isn’t valid in the system. You’ll need to look it up online to see what it should be.”

Coworker: “Is there a website we can use like [Other Plan]?”

Me: “Yeah… You need to use USPS, same as the other plans.”

Coworker: “We can use that even in New Mexico?”

Me: “[Coworker], what does ‘USPS’ stand for?”

Coworker: “Oh! Yeah, I forgot New Mexico was part of the US.”

Me: “Oh…”

Coworker: “Because I don’t like Mexico.”

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What Are You Tolkien About?

| CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Geeks Rule

(My coworker and I are total nerds, and we have been good naturedly messing with each other via sticky notes for a while. My coworker has several boxes of ‘Star Wars’ marshmallow cereal in his cube, along with lots of other nerdy toys and such. He is also the Dungeon Master for a Dungeons and Dragons game that my husband and I are part of. There has been a lull in sticky note exchanges, until today.)

Me: *via sticky note* “The computer gnomes demand sacrifice. Cereal will do… for now. Do not disappoint us again, human.”

(The rest of the conversation carried on over IM.)

Coworker: “How am I supposed to know that the computer gnomes are displeased?”

Me: “How should I know? You’re IT. That’s your area of expertise, no?”

Coworker: “The magic blue smoke inside the computers still eludes me… and I never learned gnomish… Apple Products and such… PCs are clearly goblin infested, not gnome infested.”

Me: “Must have been carried over when that auditor brought in her Apple laptop.”

Coworker: “Oh crud, cross contamination… Soon we will have gnoblins!”

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Creating An Electric Working Environment

| IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pranks

(I am a construction inspector. While working on a renovation of a building lit by dim, temporary lighting, I keep seeing flashes of light in another part of the building. Eventually a photographer comes in, taking progress photos.)

Me: *jokingly* “Cut that out! Those flashes are disconcerting!”

Photographer: *smiling back* “Yeah. The electricians hate me”.

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