Category: Coworkers

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A Passable Reason For A Disconnect

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work for a major telecommunication company in their retention department. It is my job to retain a customer’s service and, when not possible, to set up their disconnects. A lot of our calls come in from other departments such as billing. This is one of those calls.)

Representative: “Hi, I have [Not The Account Holder] on the phone. It looks like she needs to disconnect because the account holder has decided to pass away.”

Me: “Um… transfer her through.”

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It Don’t Matter If You’re Black Or White

| Australia | Coworkers, Funny Names, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(My coworker is using the printer, which is notorious for breaking.)

Me: “I like to call the printer Bob Marley, because it’s always jammin’.”

Coworker: “Well, right now it needs toner, so I guess that makes it Michael Jackson.”

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Laughing About A Coughing Hiccup

| Vista, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I bring a water bottle to work every day. Since I have the hiccups, I pick up my bottle and take a drink. I immediately choke and have a coughing fit.)

Coworker #1: *not looking up from her computer* “Do you need some water?”

Me: *glances at half-full water bottle still in my hand and starts laughing in between wheezes*

Coworker #2: *also laughing* “She choked ON water.”

(Hey, at least my hiccups were cured!)

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Man, You Bring Me Down

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(This conversation takes place over our headsets. I am answering phones, my coworker is at the cash register, and the manager is somewhere on the sales floor.)

Coworker: “I’ve got a customer up here who says there’s a man down.”

Manager: “[Coworker], where are you? Does someone need help?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think anyone needs help. There’s just a man down, in the men’s department.”

Me: “[Coworker], is this a real person, or a mannequin?”

Coworker: “What’s a mannequin? There’s a man down in men’s.”

Me: “Are we talking about the men we display clothes on?”

Coworker: “Yes! There’s a man down in men’s!”

Manager: “So, this isn’t an emergency?”

Coworker: “No. There’s just a man down.”

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Not Very Manly Stories

, | Rijn, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

(I go into the staff room for my break. A few colleagues are already there. One of them is known for always being very strange or silly, but always a bit too much. He’s also not holding back on dirty stories or anything.)

Coworker #1: “Yeah, you know, I used to shave my pubes, but since I have a girlfriend I don’t do it anymore.”

(Coworker #2 and the team leader are not really the kind of people who seem interested in such a story. Finally the guy leaves.)

Coworker #2: “I think he just wants a tattoo on his forehead, saying ‘MAN’”.