Category: Coworkers

Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It, Part 2

| MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body

(My manager, who is also the waitress, is known for having a huge sweet tooth. On this particular day someone has brought in a big bag of candy which she’s ‘hidden’ under the counter. Several of us have been sneaking pieces randomly.)

Manager: “[Bus Boy]! Stop eating that candy! What did I tell you?”

Me: *jokingly* “Hey, you don’t have to hog them. There’s plenty!”

Manager: “He’s diabetic though! He’s not supposed to eat so much sweets.”

Me: “Oh, dude. I know how to handle low blood sugars, but not high. Stop eating so many sweets.”

Busboy: “Oh, I’d just need an insulin shot! I have an emergency pen with me.”

Me: “I don’t know if I’d feel safe stabbing you with it though; I don’t have any experience.”

Busboy: *looking sad* “Aw, yeah, I understand.”

Other Cook: “Hey, when I worked on the farm I sometimes gave shots to the cows. That’s almost the same.”

Busboy: *looking bright again* “Yeah! That’d work!”

Me: “Oh, okay then. Have at.”

Manager: “Noooo! Those are MY candies!”

Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It

Bad Jokes Should Be Scratched

| Mesa, AZ, USA | Coworkers

Coworker: “[Food Item]!”

Me: *starts making food item*

Coworker: “Scratch that food item!”

Me: *makes scratching gesture to the [Food Item]*

You’re In The Band

| South Tampa, FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

(One of my friends, who is a supervisor, enjoys shooting rubber bands at me from the customer service desk when there are no customers around. On this day, I’m working the express lane while my friend is behind the customer service desk, directly across from my register. I am ringing out a customer.)

Me: “And your total is $20.13, will that be cash or—” *I feel something hit me in the face* “—credit?”

Customer: “Credit, please.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead and swipe your—” *I feel something hit me in the shoulder* “—card.”

(While the customer swipes her card, I glance over at the customer service desk and watch my friend duck behind the counter.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?” *I spot a rubber band flying at my head and duck out of the way just in time*

Customer: “Ah… where are those rubber bands coming from?”

Me: “Oh, one of our supervisors thinks it’s funny to shoot them at everyone.”

Customer: *turns toward the front desk and wags her finger* “THAT IS NOT NICE!” *walks out*

(My friend started laughing so hard he almost fell over.)

Not The Ticket To Promotion

| MN, USA | Coworkers

(I work at a summer camp that has a “carnival” near the end of the week for the kids. My supervisor is carrying a giant bean-bag toss board out of storage with a little roll of tickets sitting on top. Another coworker comes along.)

Supervisor: “Hey, can you help me with this?”

Coworker: *takes the tiny roll of tickets off the very heavy board and runs off* “I help!”

Trolling The Staff

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

(This happened over the walkies that the employees use to communicate with each other.)

Coworker: “Hey, do we sell any troll dolls?”

Manager: “Don’t think so. Had a guest ask me that yesterday. I had to resist the urge to tell her to check under a bridge.”