Category: Coworkers

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The Conception Of Bad Products

| ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(We have a very low-end dollar store chain in Ontario, where everything used to be one dollar. It’s gone up a bit in price, but the products are exactly the same. I am working with a male co-worker.)

Me: “I can’t believe we have pregnancy tests. These are probably wrong 90% of the time!”

Coworker: “I know. I did one just for fun and it said I was pregnant.”

Me: “Congrats! The only way this could get better is if they sold protection.”

Coworker: “Buy one get one free?”

Me: “No, a combo pack!”

(Two years later we’ve both long-since quit and are browsing another store when we see them.)

Me: “Look! It’s a combo pack!”

Ex-Coworker: “That is just so wrong.”

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Staff Integration

| Singapore | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Technology

(I am texting my counterpart . As I couldn’t get some information from the system that we use, my counterpart advised me to ask his colleague. Note: The system has a help desk but mostly we would just email one another for help.)

Me: “So I need to get some information from [System] but it isn’t available.”

Counterpart: “Better ask [Colleague].”

Me: “So can I email or do I need to use [Help Desk]?”

Counterpart: “Use [Help Desk]. [Colleague] is integrated into the system like The Matrix.”

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Google’s Next Project: Kill Hitler

| San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(A coworker and I are discussing an article he read about another aspect of autonomous self-driving cars: in the instance of a potential pedestrian collision, the car has to make a split-second decision to either a) hit the pedestrian or b) perform an evasive maneuver that may lead to a crash that harms the driver.)

Coworker: “I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel about something else making that decision for me. I mean, it would be awful to do myself, but I think I would feel like it had been in my hands and I was in control.”

Me: “I might even like the idea that I didn’t have to make the choice. But I also feel like it would usually err on the side of missing the pedestrian; after all, in a car we have airbags and seat belts. All a pedestrian has is four thousand pounds of car hitting them.”

Coworker: “Hopefully that’s true. I mean, what if it’s a kid? Who wants to maybe kill a kid? I would feel so guilty.”

Me: “Hey, now. You don’t know: that kid could grow up to be Hitler. And you… You’re ALREADY not Hitler!”

Coworker: *bursts out laughing* “It’s true! I did already grow up to not be Hitler!”

Me: “And so did I! It’s a point of pride for me that I am, in fact, not Hitler. At least from time-to-time.”