Category: Coworkers

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Bouncing From One Subject To Another

| CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

(I work as a receptionist for a health agency. Months ago an email went out to all the departments letting us know we have a new director for the department. I did attend his reception, but never got a chance to meet him. In order for a person to enter my office, I press a button on my desk to let them in. Two months after the reception a rather large and tall man comes to my door and turns the handle to come in.)

Me: *I smile* “Good afternoon. Can I help you, sir?”

Man: *jiggling the door handle* “I’m here to see [Office Director].”

Me: *still smiling* “Very good. Is she expecting you?”

Man: *still jiggling the door handle* “I’d like to talk to [Office Director].”

Me: *gritting my teeth* “Yes, well, may I tell her who’s calling?”

Man: *again with the door handle* “I’d like to talk to [Office Director].”

Me: *tired of his rudeness and surly behaviour, I stand up, using the same tone he has used on me* “I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t quite catch your name.”

(He straightens himself, and in a tone that leaves no question as to who he is, tells me:)

Man: “My name is [Man], and I am the new director of this entire department.”

Me: *I smile* “That’s nice. Won’t you come in?”

(I introduce myself, and one of my coworkers. She asks if there will be changes made and he tells her there will, and positive ones.)

Me: *I ask because I have been asking this for the past eight years* “Does that include a bounce house?!”

Man: *laughing* “Yes! I’ll even throw in a slide, and a box of donuts!”

Me: “YES! FINALLY!”

Coworker: “Don’t tell her that! She’s been asking for one for years!” *to me* “You! Go find [Office Director]!”

(I do, and lead him to her office, then sit back at my desk. A bit later, after introducing him to folks in the back of the office, she brings him around to my desk.)

Office Director: “And you met [My Name], our receptionist.”

Man: *kinda smug* “Yes. She wouldn’t let me in.”

Office Director: *raising an eyebrow to me* “Oh?”

Me: *not to be outdone by this man* “He wouldn’t tell me who he was.”

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Will Be In Your Head For A Long(stocking) Time

| Sweden | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

(As part of my evening shift, I clean the dining area, the student kitchen, the hallway, the stairs, the lobby, and the toilets. Due to our guests currently being middle school classes and making a huge mess, and me not being able to find a way to do the cleaning efficiently, I’ve often had to work overtime. My coworker and I are discussing this during dinner service. I have a tendency to get nostalgic things from my childhood on my brain, and I also have a tendency to get songs stuck in other people’s brains.)

Me: “I used the method you used when cleaning the guest rooms, the one where you just pour soapy water on the floor and sweep, and I actually managed to get cleaning done on time! Thanks for recommending it!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I saw [Other Coworker] do it when she was cleaning the dining area two weeks ago. You don’t have to dip the mop in the bucket, so you save a bunch of time. It’s like Pippi Longstocking, only you don’t have scrubbers on your feet.”

Me: “Yeah, that would get cleaning done even faster… Hey, so it’s your fault that I’ve had Pippi stuck in my head for the past four days!”

Coworker: “Heh, maybe.”

Me: “The intro song to the cartoon, specifically! Did you watch that as a kid?”

Coworker: “Of course I did! It was the s***.”

Me: *singing* “What shall I do today? What shall we do today? What shall I do today? What shall I do?”

Coworker: *laughs and goes into the kitchen*

(I continue to watch over the dining area for a while, handing out portions and keeping an eye on the drinks table, when my coworker comes back.)

Coworker: “D*** it! Now I have the song stuck in my head too!”

Me: *evil laugh*

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How To Butcher Reading

| Miramichi, NB, Canada | Coworkers

(In high school I took an early childhood education class, and need an extra copy of the children’s book ‘The Cat In The Hat’ by Dr Seuss. I’ve found someone with a copy they’re willing to just give to me so I stop by their workplace to pick it up.)

Me: “Hi, I can’t remember her name but I’m picking up the book The Cat In The Hat from someone that works here.”

Worker #1: *to Worker #2* “Is that you? I know it’s not me.”

Worker #2: “Oh, that must be [Worker #3]. She’s the only one here who reads.”