Category: Coworkers

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Meta-Meeting In Dilbert’s Office

| QC, Canada | Coworkers

(I’m a contractor assisting at the daily production meeting. There’s the manager and six foremen from different productions parts of the mill. As I get in, four of those are having an intense discussion on a specific problem. The head manager enters the meeting, which should have started at 9, and it’s already 9:10.)

Manager: “Okay, folks, let’s get this over with.”

(The foremen continue discussing their problems.)

Manager: “Guys, can should talk about this after this meeting, please?”

Foreman #1: “No problem.”

Foreman #2: “Can’t do. I have to check out the shipping schedule. How about at 10?”

Foreman #3: “Unavailable at 10. How about 10:30?”

Manager: “Guys. Can it wait after this meeting. We really should get going. The mill manager is waiting for me.”

Foreman #1: “Then let’s meet to decide a time where we should meet.”

Foreman #2: “9:45 would be good.”

Foreman #3: “Me, too.”

(General sense of approval.)

Foreman #1: *very serious* “So we’ll meet at 9:45 to decide when we’ll set-up our meeting for this issue. Everybody is okay with that?”

Everybody: “Yes, fine, will do, etc.”

Manager: “Did you just schedule a meeting to schedule a meeting?”

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Should Have Bet Cash(ier) On It

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Funny Names, Overtime

(I work in apparel. I am also trained on the register, so they have me come up and check when the lines are long. One week, I’m looking to get a few extra hours, so I take a cashier shift. I get there and get on a register. The cashier supervisor comes up to me.)

Supervisor: “The lines are slowing down. You can go back to apparel.”

Me: “I’m cashiering today.”

Supervisor: “Oh! It’s [My Name]!”

Me: *thinking to myself* “Yes, it’s [My Name]. That’s always been my name.”

(She shows me her list of cashiers for the day. It had cut off part of my name, so it looked like the male version of my name.)

Supervisor: “We were trying to figure out who [male version of my name] was. We were wondering if maybe it was a transfer or something.”

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Don’t Question The Boss’s Rain

| OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

(We have a really cool boss who has a sarcastic sense of humor and often makes pop culture references, often obscure or pointless ones. In this instance another employee has made a small and easily fixable and forgettable mistake. However, as he is new and still a bit nervous I am giving him a hard time about it. Boss comes over and hears us “arguing.”)

Coworker: “Don’t blame me. I don’t wanna get in trouble.”

Me: “I already get blamed for everything, so if all else fails, you can blame it on me.”

Boss: “Guys, we’ll just do like Milli Vanilli and blame it on the rain.”

(Boss and I both laugh at the lame joke.)

Coworker: *staring blankly* “Who’s Milli Vanilli?”

Boss: *to coworker in deadpan voice* “You know what? Don’t talk to me. We’re no longer friends.”

(Boss walked away and tried to keep a straight face.)

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Well, Those Can Be Edible Too

| UT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(There are extra cupboards in our break-room where workers are allowed to stash snacks.)

Male Coworker: “Is it odd that every time I hear the word “unmentionables” I think of all the food that I have stashed in different areas of the office, and not of women’s lingerie?”

Me: *bursts out laughing, and walks away*