Category: Coworkers

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Registering Your Faith

| Chambersburg, PA, USA | Coworkers, Religion

(On a particularly slow evening at the registers, I get to witness the following between two fairly close coworkers.)

Coworker #1: *jokingly* “I swear I’m going to punch you!”

Coworker #2: “Do it! I dare you!”

(Coworker #2 then moves towards Coworker #1, at which point he picks up the order dividers for his lane and holds them in a cross shape.)

Coworker #2: “The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!”

Coworker #1: “HA, I’M JEWISH!”

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One Angry Girl, One Cup

, | San Antonio, TX, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

(A few coworkers and I are sitting in the small back room of the restaurant/bakery where we work. We’re all friends and can insult each other without the other getting mad or offended. One of the girls wants a refill on her drink. She is known for being in a bad mood and is a self-proclaimed b****.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #2] can you get me a refill? I’ll give you a dollar.”

Coworker #2: *scoffs* “Get it yourself.”

Coworker #1: “But I’m tired and too lazy to do it myself.”

(She continues to whine about a refill and being tired for several minutes.)

Coworker #3: *having had enough of the whining* “Fine, I’ll do it. You don’t even have to give me a dollar.”

Coworker #1: “Fine, do it for free, then.”

(Coworker #3 takes the cup and starts walking out of the room.)

Coworker #2: *holding out his cup* “Well, since you’re already up…”

Coworker #3: “F*** you.”

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Peppered With Accusation

| OH, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests

(I teach cooking classes as part of my job. I have a stash of ingredients and cooking supplies in one corner of my office and never use those for my own personal use. My coworker also teaches cooking classes and has her own supplies, but she often uses her ingredients in her personal lunches and snacks and leaves them scattered throughout the office.)

Coworker: “I need some pepper for these beans.”

Coworker: “I said, ‘I need some pepper for these beans.’”

Coworker: “Sure would be nice if there was some damn pepper in this place.”

Coworker: “Where’s my pepper? I had a whole f***ing container! Where’s my pepper?”

Coworker: “These beans are nasty. They need pepper. I can’t eat them now.”

(Her ranting took several minutes, at the end of which, my boss came into my office. I am engrossed in a project and am not looking at my boss during this conversation.)

Boss: “Have you used any pepper in your recipes lately?”

Me: “Nope.”

Boss: “Okay. Do you have any pepper in your supplies?”

Me: “Maybe. I’m pretty sure I was almost out the last time I needed some.”

Boss: “Okay. Um, do you mind if I check your supplies?”

Me: “Go for it.”

(My boss digs through my container of supplies and does not find any pepper. He thanks me and turns to walk out the door, when I look up to see that my coworker has suddenly appeared.)

Coworker: *to Boss* “DID YOU FIND MY PEPPER?! I KNOW SHE TOOK IT! SHE’S BEEN PLAYING DUMB THIS WHOLE TIME, BUT I KNOW SHE TOOK IT!”

(Apparently, my coworker was convinced that I stole her pepper almost two months ago, and rather than go out and spend a dollar to replace her spices, had been passive-aggressively suggesting that I was the thief. Unfortunately for her, I’m not great at picking up subtle hints, so she’d been whining for no reason! Also, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as I hadn’t taken her supplies in the first place. We still have not found the pepper.)

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Doesn’t Have 20 Vision

Denver, CO, USA | Coworkers, Geography

(I’m a ski patroller and overhear this conversation on the radio:)

Patroller #1: “Colin [Surname] to Evans.”

Patroller #2: “Go ahead.”

Patroller #1: “What’s your 20?”

Patroller #2: “I’m… um… f***! Where the h*** am I?”

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Please Learn To Reader

, | IL, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I work as a front lobby security officer/receptionist in an office building that has a set of badged double doors leading off the lobby. Employees are supposed to use the reader unless their hands are full. Guests are buzzed through. These rules are also printed on the doors in large print. This still happens, every day.)

Employee: *walks up to the door, empty-handed, then looks at me* “Hey, let me through!”

Me: “Badge the reader, please.”

Employee: “Why? Just let me through.”

Me: “It’s policy. Please badge the reader.”

Employee: *looks at the doors, then the reader, then me* “Will you let me in?”

Me: “Badge the reader.”

(This would repeat until the employee either got tired of it or – sometimes – I gave in. Every. single. day.)