Category: Coworkers


The Highest Of Fives

| NM, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(One of the machines we work with has a sticker warning that it may get hot during operation, but it usually doesn’t. While my coworkers and I are waiting for a digital test on the machine to finish, I impulsively put my hand on it.)

Coworker #1: “Wow, you just have no fear, do you?”

Me: “I’m magical.”

Coworker #1: “Or you have no pain receptors in your hand.”

Me: “No, [Coworker #2] proved I have pain receptors in my hand a while ago.”

Coworker #1: “He did?”

Me: “Really intense high fives…”


A Shift In Their Behavior

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(Coworker #1 and I are very good friends. Our way of showing our love for each other tends to be very sarcastic, and playfully “violent,” in manner. Usually we work the morning shift together, and our other coworkers have long since gotten used to our behavior. This particular day, however, I have worked the lunch shift and Coworker #1 is working dinner, so our paths are crossing at three pm among coworkers who have never worked with both of us together.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name]! I haven’t seen you in forever!” *steps on my toes* “Why did you abandon me?”

Me: *extricates my foot and lightly kicks her ankle* “Uh uh. You abandoned me. And I was glad, anyway. I didn’t want to see you.”

Coworker #1: “Well, fine. I’d have ended up having to pick up all your slack, loser. At least now I can work in peace.”

Me: “Ugh. You’re so annoying. I hate you.”

Coworker #1: “Well, I hate you, too. So there.” *smacks me lightly on the arm and turns to put her purse in the lockers*

(We both turn around to find all coworkers in earshot staring at us in shock. I think the only reason they believed our explanation was that they all knew either one or both of us separately, so they knew we weren’t mean people!)


Doesn’t Give A Truck

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Coworkers

Coworker: “You’re in big trouble!”

Me: “Oh? How so?”

Coworker: “Because you left all the tools in the company truck!”

Me: “So? We’ve got another job in two days. Policy states that it’s perfectly fine to leave the equipment in the truck when you’ve got jobs that close together.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. Why? What happened?”

Coworker: “Well, someone took the company truck out to visit clients yesterday, and when they got back, they left the windows rolled down. Someone could have stolen everything!”

Me: “Well, wasn’t me. They were rolled up when I finished that job on the weekend. Who took it out to visit clients?”

Coworker: *pregnant pause* “Me.”

Me: “You’re the one you took the truck out?”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Me: “So you’re the one who left the windows rolled down overnight.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Me: “So whose fault would it have been if everything was stolen out of the truck?”

Coworker: “YOURS, because you’re supposed to empty the truck after a job!”

Me: *annoyed sigh*

Coworker: “I’ll cover for you this time, but next time, you empty the truck!”


A ‘Later’ Stater

| NS, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(My coworker answers a phone call, and everything is perfectly normal… until the end of the call.)

Coworker: “Okay, have a nice day!” *hangs up* “Don’t you say ‘see you later’ to me! You won’t see me later. You don’t even know me!”


Scared Their S*** On You

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pranks

(The door to the photo lab is always open when there are employees inside, which means anything can wander in.)

Me: *on break eating lunch when I notice two pigeons walk in* “I wonder who will walk in the lab soon.”

(Right on the moment my coworker walks in and scares the pigeons, which fly out the only door. My coworker ducks to avoid the pigeons.)

Me: *laughs*

Coworker: *screams then laughs a bit* “That hella scared me.”

Me: “That was funny; I was just wondering who will enter the lab.”

Coworker: “That was not funny. That scared the s*** out of me.”

Me: “I think you scared the s*** out of the pigeons.”