Category: Crazy Requests


Burnin’ Down The House!

| USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

(My husband calls our insurance company to discuss our home insurance because our coverage is too high compared to the value of our home.)

Employee: “The reason it’s so high is if something catastrophic happened to your home the first thing we would do is pay off your mortgage, then build you a new house.”

Husband: “Wait, what? If our house is destroyed we get a brand new house and no mortgage?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Husband: “That can’t be right; everyone would just burn down their houses! Can I talk to your supervisor?”

(The supervisor gets on the line and my husband repeats the conversation so far.)

Supervisor: “No, that’s not right. If we did that everyone would just burn down their houses!”

Husband: “That’s what I said!”

Supervisor: “We will have a talk to that associate about this. Now, let’s take a look at your policy.”


Spieling Over

| USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

(The manager at the store I used to work for was ridiculously by the book. If the corporate office “suggested” each employee should have X number of customers per day, then he insisted that’s how many they should have, even if there weren’t enough customers during the entire day to get everyone the same number. He also required employees to give this long spiel whenever a customer walked in, even if it was a customer the employee knew. We’d occasionally even lose customers because of things like this. About six months after I left, I go into the store to pick up a friend of mine, who still works there, for lunch. As I walk in, a new employee I don’t recognize approaches me.)

Employee: “Hi, welcome to [Store]…” *he starts to launch into the speech*

Me: *smiles* “It’s okay; no need to give me the spiel. I used to work here.”

Employee: *chuckles nervously* “Oh… uh… no problem. It’s just…” *checks over his shoulder and sees [Manager] coming out of the back room* “I’ve only been able to do one of these today.”

Me: “[Manager] said you’d have to have a ‘one-on-one’ if you didn’t get anymore, right?”

Employee: “Yeah…”

Me: *sighing, I turn around, walk out the door and back in* “Okay, I’m a brand new customer! Give me the spiel!”

(He gladly gave me the store speech, which apparently had been added onto since I’d left. He finished right around the time my friend clocked out to have lunch with me.)


Peppered With Accusation

| OH, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests

(I teach cooking classes as part of my job. I have a stash of ingredients and cooking supplies in one corner of my office and never use those for my own personal use. My coworker also teaches cooking classes and has her own supplies, but she often uses her ingredients in her personal lunches and snacks and leaves them scattered throughout the office.)

Coworker: “I need some pepper for these beans.”

Coworker: “I said, ‘I need some pepper for these beans.’”

Coworker: “Sure would be nice if there was some damn pepper in this place.”

Coworker: “Where’s my pepper? I had a whole f***ing container! Where’s my pepper?”

Coworker: “These beans are nasty. They need pepper. I can’t eat them now.”

(Her ranting took several minutes, at the end of which, my boss came into my office. I am engrossed in a project and am not looking at my boss during this conversation.)

Boss: “Have you used any pepper in your recipes lately?”

Me: “Nope.”

Boss: “Okay. Do you have any pepper in your supplies?”

Me: “Maybe. I’m pretty sure I was almost out the last time I needed some.”

Boss: “Okay. Um, do you mind if I check your supplies?”

Me: “Go for it.”

(My boss digs through my container of supplies and does not find any pepper. He thanks me and turns to walk out the door, when I look up to see that my coworker has suddenly appeared.)


(Apparently, my coworker was convinced that I stole her pepper almost two months ago, and rather than go out and spend a dollar to replace her spices, had been passive-aggressively suggesting that I was the thief. Unfortunately for her, I’m not great at picking up subtle hints, so she’d been whining for no reason! Also, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as I hadn’t taken her supplies in the first place. We still have not found the pepper.)


Mismanaged That Phone Call

| USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

(It’s been a busy day at the shop. I’m in the back office, looking for some labels, when the phone rings. We’re all trained to answer it, so I do. We’re a small, local branch, so when we answer, we have to say our location.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] in [Location #1]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Are you male or female?”

Me: *slightly taken aback* “Er, I’m a female. How can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: *gruffly* “Get me the number to the [Location #2] store!”

(Our location is the original location when the store first began, and when people type our name into the search engines, our number comes up first. When we have customers on the phone looking for another store, we direct them to our website.)

Me: *politely* “Ma’am, we’re the store in [Location #1]. If you go to our website, you’ll see a tab labeled ‘Locations’…”

Caller: *angrily raising her voice* “No! Just give me the number for the store!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you go to our web…”

Caller: “You are a corporate store! You have the numbers for corporate! Get me the number for [Location #2] NOW!”

Me: “One moment, please, ma’am.” *puts her on hold* “B***h.”

(I go to the front where my manager is, and tell her a customer is asking for the number. She decides to go tell the customer herself, since she has all the numbers memorized, and I’m still learning them. She is back there for several minutes, and then comes back, with a happy smile on her face.)

Manager: “Why didn’t you tell me it was [Manager] from [Location #3]?”

Me: “Wait, what?!”

(Turned out, it was the manager of a location close to us. We often help each other out with equipment shortages and such. Since she hadn’t identified herself and I didn’t recognize her voice, I treated her just like any customer. Had she done so, I would have been happy to get her the information. I never did find out why she asked what my gender was, but better than asking and bringing it up and facing her wrath.)


Not At Service, Not At Your Service

| Winnipeg, MT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I take my small daughters to the little daycare in our church so that we can attend the Sunday service in peace. This daycare is run by church volunteers who are supposed to be there every Sunday, but they often decide to not show up, leaving parents like us stranded.)

Me: *looking around the daycare, seeing nobody* “Oh, man, no caregivers again.”

(Just then, another mother enters the daycare and hands her small child to me.)

Woman: “Here you go. I’ll be back after the service.” *turns to leave*

Me: “Um, wait a second. I’m not the volunteer. I’m a parent like you, and I was just about to leave, because the volunteer isn’t here.”

Woman: “Well, you can still look after my son, can’t you?”

Me: “No…?”

Woman: “Sure you can!” *leaves before I can stop her*

(I had no choice but to stay and look after her child as well as my own daughters for the entire service. Not only that, but she had left nothing for her son – no snack, no toys, nothing – so when he started to cry, I had no idea what to give him. That was a very long 1.5 hours!)

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