Category: Crazy Requests

Not Taking A Spill For You

| NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

(I work at truck stop that had been bought up by a national franchise. We have had a fuel spill, and being the only one with any experience cleaning up the mess, as well as being assigned janitorial duty that day, I am out there cleaning it up. Due to this, there is no one doing janitorial duties inside.)

Shift Manager: “[My Name], there are customers waiting on shower rooms. I need you to come in and clean them now.”

(The franchise likes to pride itself on providing the best customer care, and since it caters to truck drivers, clean shower rooms are something they like to always have ready. I, however, am aware of other things, and state how I view my current task as more important.)

Me: “I will do that the second I have this cleaned up.”

Shift Manager: “I need you to take care of the showers now.”

(He does not see the importance of cleaning up a fuel spill. He also doesn’t know who the local neighbors are.)

Me: “Fine. I clean the showers, as long as you explain to Corporate why they are receiving a huge fine from the EPA.”

(The local office of the Environmental Protection Agency is just down the road from us. When the place was under its original management, a similar fuel spill had resulted in a fine when they saw other employees not doing anything to help in the clean up.)

Shift Manager: *eyes wide as the implications hit him* “Keep cleaning up that fuel spill. The showers can wait.”

(Personally, I still think he should have taken on the task of cleaning the showers. The general manager would have done that in this situation.)

A Healthy Knowledge Of Unhealthy Foods

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working as the executive admin for a three-year-old company that has grown very quickly to be international. There’s a VVIP group coming in for a few days to meet with the executive team and I’ve been asked to coordinate meals.)

Me: “Since they’re going to be here early in the morning, do you want me to have breakfast catered? There are several places nearby that do breakfast catering and they’re pretty good.”

Executive: “That’s not necessary. We’ll really just want something quick and easy every morning. Could you pick up something on your way in? Don’t do donuts, they’re too unhealthy, but some healthy pastries would be great.”

Me: “Um… healthy pastries?”

Executive: “Yes, that would be great!”

(The next morning I stopped and got bagels from a gourmet bagel place because they were the healthiest pastry I could think of. I was pulled aside by the executive later that day.)

Executive: “Why did you bring bagels? I said healthy pastries!”

Me: “I honestly can’t think of any tasty pastries that are healthy.”

Executive: “They’re out there! Tomorrow make sure we have them!”

(The next day I went to a European bakery on my way into the office and picked up a dozen beautiful, buttery, gourmet pastries. The same executive came up to me later that day.)

Executive: “Those pastries were perfect! I told you that you could figure something out!”

Me: “Those were definitely NOT healthy.”

Executive: “They were what I was talking about though, so keep that place in mind for next time!”

Just Google It…

| Annapolis, MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a guitar store as the business manager, which mostly means I keep track of the money and sign people up for lessons with our music school. Although I am the only female employee of the store, my coworkers lovingly call me “Tech Support” as I seem to be the only one that is ever able to fix the printers, computers, and cash registers whenever they aren’t working properly.)

Me: *read over my assigned list of tasks for the day from my boss, notice a weird assignment, and call my boss*

Me: “I have a question about one of my tasks for today.”

Boss: “Which one?”

Me: “The one where you ask me to ‘Fix Google.’”

Boss: “Our Google Spreadsheets aren’t working correctly right now. When I open one it opens eight additional tabs in my browser. When [Coworker] opens one it freezes and then shuts down his browser. I need you to fix it, since you’re our Tech Support.”

Me: “I appreciate your faith in my technical abilities, but everything you’re listing is handled through Google directly, and since I don’t work for Google…”

Boss: “Yeah but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Me: *face-palm*

(Long story short, I spent over an hour on the phone with a Google Help Desk person trying to figure out why this kept happening. Turns out my boss kept double clicking the link impatiently while waiting for it to load, causing 8 tabs to open of the same spreadsheet. As for my coworker, it’s difficult for a spreadsheet to load when you have 18 other tabs currently open.)

Losing The Cashier Lottery

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(My wife has taken our three-year-old daughter out shopping. She decides to pick up a scratch card. As with most things we do, we encourage our daughter to recognise letters, number, shapes etc.)

Wife: “What number should we get?”

Daughter: “Erm, the pink one.”

Wife: “Okay, but what number is it?”

Daughter: “Number four.”

Wife: “Well done!” *to Cashier* “A number four, please.”

Cashier: “I can’t serve you.”

Wife: “Sorry, why?”

Cashier:  She isn’t old enough.

Wife: “What? She was just picking the number. The card is for me.”

Cashier: “Still can’t serve you.”

Wife: “Just get your manager for me, please.”

(The manager turns up and speaks to the cashier quietly before turning to my wife.)

Manager: *quizzically* “You wanted to buy a scratch card for your daughter?”

Wife: “No, she just picked the number; it is for me. She’s three. She wouldn’t even know if she won or not and probably couldn’t scratch the card herself.”

Manager: *sighing deeply* “I’m so sorry about this, miss; I will serve you myself.”

(Just as they were leaving I overhear…)

Manager: “What are you playing at?”

Cashier: “You told me to ask for ID.”

Manager: “She was clearly buying it for herself.”

Cashier: “But, but—”

Manager: “Just go on your break. I’ll deal with you later.”

Mulchitudinous

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Ignoring & Inattentive

(This is copied directly from my “Customer Care” online chat for your general amusement:)

Me: “Hello, I bought 20 x 2 cubic-foot bags of your ‘12 month color guarantee’ mulch less than two weeks ago, and the color is completely gone after a week of rain. The black is now gray and tan. I’d like a refund or replacement, please. How do I go about that?”

Company Representative: “Sorry to hear that. Our ultimate goal is for you to be completely satisfied with your purchase from [Company]. If you receive an item you are not happy with, you may return it within thirty days of purchase to any [Store] for a refund or exchange within our current policy guidelines.”

Me: “Can I bring a receipt back with a photo of the damage, or something, instead?”

Representative: “Our current policy guidelines state you must bring the item back to the store.”

Me: “I understand, but I cannot bring 40 cubic-foot of mulch back to the store from my lawn… Is there another option?”

Representative: “I would recommend that you call our customer care to request for the return.”

(Calling customer care just confused a human being on the phone instead of via text. I’ll try going back to the store next instead!)

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