Category: Criminal/Illegal

A Great Dealer Of Honesty

| LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Job Seekers, Popular, Trending

(I work for a gaming company as a recruiting assistant. Part of my job includes calling people who have submitted applications to see if they’d be interested in an interview. If it’s been a while since they applied, I have to start off with “are you still interested in potentially working with us?”, since most of them have already found a job in that time. This takes place over the phone. In all, the call was about forty seconds long.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [My Name] calling for [Company]. How are you doing today?”

Guy: “…Ai’ight.”

Me:“Fantastic! I’m calling today to…” *spiel about them applying, being selected for interview, etc.* “…and I was wondering if you’re still interested in a potential employment opportunity with us?”

Guy: “…Naw, I’m good. I deal drugs now.” *click*

Me: *speechless*

(At least he was honest!)

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED:

| UT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Money

(I am twenty-three at this time, and have finished my bachelor’s degree. I am calling different car insurance companies for quotes before making a decision. I make it clear at the beginning of each call that I am only looking for quotes and am not going to be making any decisions today.)

Insurance Agent: “And let me add that student discount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I thought I’d told you, but I must not have. I have finished my bachelor’s degree and I am not in school at the time.”

Insurance Agent: “That’s okay. You’re twenty-three; no one will question it.”

Me: “Please, that’s dishonest. I do not want the student discount.”

Insurance Agent: “No one will question it.”

Me: “I’m not worried about getting caught; I’m worried about being dishonest. Please, do not put the student discount in my quote.”

Insurance Agent: “Sweetie. I’m not tricking you. It’s not going to go up later.”

(By the way, calling me “sweetie” turns me off from you immediately. I’m twenty-three, but I’m still an adult, and your customer. And “sweetie,” especially with that tone is demeaning. I decide that even if I go with this insurance company, I will not be doing what I usually do, which is remember the name of the agent who gave me the quote so that they get the commission on the sale.)

Me: “I don’t think you’re tricking me. I just don’t want to be dishonest. Take it off.”

Insurance Agent: “Fine.”

(We continue with the quote process and then at the end…)

Insurance Agent: “So, are you interested in that?”

Me: “Maybe, but as I said, I am not making any decisions today.”

Insurance Agent: “Sweetheart. If you don’t decide to buy this, then I don’t get paid.”

Me: “And frankly at this point, I don’t much care. Thank you, and have a nice day.”

 

Dear Readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t yet have a title. That’s because we’d like to invite you to create one yourself! Please place all suggestions in the comment’s box (please keep it PG!), and the funniest/cleverest title wins. Thanks!

This Sample Sale Is A Steal

| Canada | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(During a slow evening shift, I’m working with a new guy who is almost done with his probationary period.)

Coworker: *looks to see if there’s anyone around and proceeds to fill a container with large scoops of various salads and other cold served dishes, totaling at least $15 worth*

Me: “Uh… What are you doing?”

Coworker: “I’m hungry and I didn’t eat dinner yet.”

Me: “So you’re going to steal food?”

Coworker: “It’s not stealing! It’s sampling!”

Doesn’t Speak A Paid Programming Language

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

Caller: “Hi, the program I use to give demos to customers has stopped working.”

Me: “Okay, what is the program that you use?”

Caller: *names third-party free trial program that our company doesn’t use*

Me: “And what’s the problem?”

Caller: “It’s asking me to pay to use it.”

Me: “Okay… there’s nothing I can actually do about that. That is a third-party paid service. Our company does not have any accounts or contracts with that vendor, so we don’t have a company account we can use.”

Caller: “But it worked before.”

Me: “They have a free trial, but once that trial is over you would need to pay for an account.”

Caller: “It’s not working. They told me to call Help Desk.”

Me: “I’m afraid this is not a technical issue that we can help with. This program requires a paid account to use it, and our company doesn’t have one. You’d need to work with your department head to put in a purchase order for an account for this program. That doesn’t go through us.”

Caller: “But all my coworkers use it, and they don’t pay for it!”

Me: “Better not mention that to Legal.”

Guilty By Association

| Vestal, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

(I’m a 27-year-old male. I’ve just wandered into an extremely large nation-wide retail chain-store. I’m there specifically to grab cigarettes. On my way to the cigarette counter, I run into a work-friend of mine. We chat for a moment, and she and I part ways. I get into the line.)

Me: “Can I have a pack of cigarettes, please?”

Cashier: *somewhat snarky tone* “No, you may not. I just saw you talking to HER.”

(She gestures to where I ran into my work-friend.)

Cashier: *snobby* “You need to get her ID and the IDs of the people I saw her talking to.”

Me: “Really? That’s just a work-friend of mine. I just ran into her. I’m not even with her shopping.”

Cashier: “If you can’t get their IDs, you’re not getting cigarettes!”

Me: “So… just because I chatted with someone, I can’t get cigarettes?”

Cashier: “Yup.”

Me: “That’s just stupid. So I can’t talk to anyone here unless they have IDs? You’re literally saying that socialization is frowned on here. That’s just stupid! I’ll just go to the gas-station down the street.”

Cashier: “Fine.”

(I walk away. On the way to the door, I bump into my work-friend again.)

Me: “They wouldn’t sell me cigarettes because they saw me talking to you.”

Coworker: “Yeah, they did the same thing to me because I ran into a friend here and was chatting with them. When I went up, they demanded to see his ID because we were talking, and I wasn’t able to find him to have him show them his ID. I wasn’t even here with him… I just bumped into him.”

Me: “So, evidently, we’re not supposed to talk to ANYONE here, I guess, unless they have their IDs…”

Coworker: “Yeah, it looks like they frown on socialization altogether.”

(The next day at work, I see my work-friend again.)

Coworker: “You won’t believe this. You know that woman who wouldn’t sell you cigarettes because she saw you talking to me?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Coworker: “She was actually making fun of me when I walked by again after you left, and was telling other people there that I was a criminal who was buying cigarettes for minors! I walked right by and heard her saying it.”

Me: “Wow…”

(I ended up writing in and complaining, and the corporate office basically told me that I was right: Socialization is basically viewed as a bad thing in the store. How insane is that? And this is a MAJOR store that is in most towns. So, I guess next time you go to the store, if you plan to buy anything requiring an ID, be sure not to talk to or make eye contact with anyone, otherwise you’ll be refused service.)

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