Category: Criminal/Illegal

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Murdering Any Future Business

| London, England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

(I am a legal intern, shadowing a lawyer in court. Our client walks in.)

Lawyer: *says very loudly to me whilst client is within earshot* “Ooh, gonna keep this one around. He looks like he might do a murder soon!”

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Playing The Irony Card

| WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Job Seekers

(I am standing in line while the person in front of my is asking about the job offering. I didn’t catch the whole conversation.)

Cashier: “Yeah, probably the most important part of the job is making sure you card.”

Customer: “Oh, of course. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

Cashier: “Wait, we are only hiring people over 21. Are you old enough?”

Customer: “Well, you did just sell me beer, so I hope so.”

(Cue a laugh from everyone in earshot.)

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Explain It To Them Straight

| TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Transportation

(I’ve just run to the bank and am on my way back home, and am stopped by a red light. The way the road is set, the left lane must turn left, middle can take left or straight, and the right lane can go straight or right. I’m in the middle lane and go straight. As soon as I’ve gone under the light, a police officer comes up behind me and pulls me over. He asks for my license and proof of insurance, and I’m near tears with wondering what I’ve done.)

Officer: “Do you know what you did back there?”

Me: “No, sir, I really don’t.”

Officer: “You failed to indicate which direction you were going.”

Me: “Um …there isn’t an indication to go straight, though.”

Officer: *ignoring me* “You need to indicate in the future which direction you’re going to turn.”

Me: “Yeah, but only if you go left or right. I went straight.”

Officer: *still ignoring me* “I’m going to have to write you up for failure to use your blinker.”

Me: “Are you serious? You’re giving me a ticket because I didn’t use my blinker? You’re only supposed to use it if you go left or right. I went straight. There is no indication to go straight. The light was green. I went straight. I did nothing wrong.”

Officer: *writes ticket and hands it to me* “Next time, be sure to use your blinker. You could cause an accident.”

(I went to court on the set date to explain myself to the judge. The judge threw the ticket out and told the officer to stop writing stupid tickets. I still don’t think the officer understood why I was in the right.)

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