Category: Employees

Your Cat Is Heartless

| NC, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I work part-time at a vet’s office. On this particular day, I’ve brought my extremely friendly cat in for his annual check-up after I get done with classes. The doctor is, of course, my boss, and he has quite a sense of humor.)

Doctor: *puts on stethoscope, holds it to my cat’s chest*

Doctor: *frowns and gives my cat a few firm finger-pokes to the shoulder*

Doctor: *raps the table sharply with his knuckles*

Me: “Trying to get him to stop purring?”

Doctor: “Yeah.” *takes off stethoscope* “Well, I’m just going to assume there’s a heart in there somewhere.”

The Cure Is More Painful Than The Disease

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I have a condition which causes terrible pain for a couple weeks, and inevitably, lots of lost work and medical fees. The treatment is simple, but I can’t get it without a diagnosis, which can only be done with a test when I’m symptomatic. I figure that if I only have to go through one more terrible fortnight of vomiting, pain, hospital visits, and being near broke, it would be worth it to never go through it again. I call the doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve been calling about that test. Is is back yet? It’s spelt P-O-R-P-H-Y-R-”

Receptionist: “Uhhh, yep. Found it; it’s back. Would you like to book an appointment? We’ve got this morning available, at 11 am?””

Me: “Absolutely. I’ll take time off work. See you soon!”

(When I arrive at the office, my doctor tells me it’s not back after all, and tries to stretch out my fifteen minute slot. As I’m paying, I speak to the receptionist who I suspect made the mistake that morning.)

Receptionist: “That will be $88. Thank you. Swipe here.”

Me: *while swiping my card* “You know, I called this morning to check if a specific test result had returned. I certainly wouldn’t have wasted the time and money to cut a shift short to come in if I’d known it wasn’t. Can you please clear up the correct procedure with your staff members, so everyone knows what they’re doing, and this doesn’t happen again?”

(The receptionist doesn’t acknowledge anything I’m saying, and keeps her eyes trained on the computer.)

Receptionist: “…and now, swipe a savings card, please.”

Me: “Did you hear me? Are you going to speak with your team?”

Receptionist: *finally giving me a deadpan, unconcerned stare* “Sure. Next, please.”

(Later that day, I get a call from the pathology lab, after having been asked by my doctor why it’s taken so long.)

Pathologist: “So, uh, can you come in tomorrow morning to give us another sample?”

Me: “What? I can’t! I’m better now. The results will be normal. What happened to my test?”

Pathologist: “It was damaged by light. You know, you’re supposed to protect it from light.”

Me: “I KNOW! It was wrapped in foil at the lab where I gave it, right in front of me. I saw the guy put in fridge. Who the h*** unwrapped it, and left it in light?!”

Pathologist: “Yeah. I don’t know. You can come by tomorrow morning, or you can choose to take the test when you experience the symptoms again.”

Me: *devastated, begins crying* “What? Fine, I’ll come in tomorrow. Maybe there’s some chance they’ll still show the results I need.”

Pathologist: “Great. Each one is $80, by the way.”

They Have Muffin To Worry About

| FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Tourists & Travel

(We’re English, on holiday as a family, two adults, two children, and in Florida for the first time. It’s our last day and we are having breakfast at our favourite restaurant before heading for the airport. It’s a buffet restaurant but we have found they have the best blueberry muffins. Just before we finish breakfast I mention to my husband that we should try to pay extra for some muffins to take with us for a snack in the airport, so we decide to ask our waitress, who is a lovely Scandinavian girl.)

Me: “Hey, [Waitress], do you think we would be allowed to buy four extra blueberry muffins to take with us. We know we’ll need a snack at the airport and these are the nicest we’ve ever had.”

Waitress: *in stilted English* “Errm, I not sure. I go see.”

(About 15 minutes go by and we figure that she has been told no, when she appears again with a man, who we find out is the manager.)

Manager: “Hi, I’m [Name], the duty manager. I understand you have a problem with our blueberry muffins.”

Husband: “Oh, no, no… They’re the best we’ve had while we’ve been here and [My Name] wanted to know if we could pay extra for four to take with us to the airport. [Waitress] must have misunderstood. After all it’s probably an unusual request.”

Manager: *laughing* “Oh, right, that’s no problem, sir. [Waitress] will bring you some right out, no extra charge. I have to tell you though, it’s just a packet muffin mix and we just add extra blueberries! Now, you have a safe journey home and we hope you make it back here soon.”

(Our smiling waitress returned a few minutes later with a bag of eight hot blueberry muffins AND a bag of muffin mix! Needless to say, we have been back several times since and we make a point of stopping at that restaurant where we always get great service. We’ve never seen the same waitress or the manager again, though.)

Talking Out Of Their Asthma

| USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(It is just after daylight savings and the clock in our work room has not been changed yet. My coworker decides to take matters into her own hands and stacks up boxes to be able to reach it. She then makes a face about how dusty it is.)

Coworker: “Oh my! I’m gonna have an asthma attack. I don’t have asthma but I’m gonna catch it from this!”

(This coming from someone who works in a pharmacy and knows how this stuff works!)

Burst Their Bubble Tea

| Ithaca, NY, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Food & Drink

(I attend a college with a high population of Asian students, which means that the surrounding commercial area has a lot of Asian shops and restaurants that are usually staffed by Asian workers. A new bubble tea place opens, so I decide to stop by on my way to my boyfriend’s apartment one day. Bubble tea can come with “bubbles,” which are very chewy and round, or “jellies,” which are firmer and rectangular. Note: I am white, and my boyfriend is half-Asian and speaks perfect Mandarin.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a mango green tea with bubbles, please?”

Cashier: “We can’t do that. All of our drinks come pre-made. The mango green tea comes with jellies.”

Me: “Oh, um… Can I add bubbles with the jellies, then?”

Cashier: “It’s $0.50 extra.”

Me: “Okay, whatever.”

(They make my drink and I take it back to my boyfriend’s place. I explain to him what happened, and tell him what I’d like to do next. We go back to the tea shop the next day. My boyfriend goes up to the counter and orders in Mandarin while I lurk out of sight. A couple minutes later, he brings me my drink.)

Boyfriend: “I asked for a mango green tea with bubbles and they just asked what size. And their drinks aren’t pre-made; they make them in the back from scratch!”

(Now every time I want a bubble tea, my boyfriend has to order it for me or the workers try to give me something I don’t want!)

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