Category: Employees

Their Data Is Flawed

| Belgium | Employees, Technology

(My cellphone provider checks in about once a year to check if I’m happy with the service and with my current plan. Just a few weeks prior to the following conversation, I had such a check with the conclusion that my current plan is exactly what I need.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “Are you the person deciding on which provider you use?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “In that case [My Name], I have an exciting offer for you. For only [almost double what I pay now], you can call free to all numbers from [Provider] AND double your 3G limit.”

Me: “No, thank you. I’m happy with my current plan.”

Caller: “But [My Name], you are missing out on a great deal. You can call for free!”

Me: “Can you please do something for me? Can you please check my recent usage? How long did I call last month?”

Caller: “For [time comfortable within my limit].”

Me: “And what about my data?”

Caller: “Well, that was [again comfortable within my limit].”

Me: “For the last six months, how often did I call or needed a higher limit for my 3G than was included in my plan?”

Caller: “Well, you did not.”

Me: “So I’ll stick to the current plan, then.”

Caller: “But you could call for free. And double your data limit!”

Me: “You just confirmed me that my current plan is very well suited for my needs and you want me to spend more on a plan you proved I don’t need?”

Caller: “But you can call for free!”

Me: “Not going to happen. Have a nice day.”

(A few days later they wanted me to join their family plan. Being single was no objection.)

Fat Chance Of Firing Family

| UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(While ordering:)

Me: “Do you have any bacon?”

Waitress: “Bacon? I think we do.”

Me: “I’ll have a BLT then, please.”

Waitress: *looking me up and down* “Wouldn’t you prefer a salad? You look obese enough already!”

(She was within earshot of the owner, who then dragged her, by the ear, out of the bar.)

Owner: *coming up to us* “Here’s a life lesson: NEVER employ family!”

Disorder From The Order

, | Austin, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I’m in a cafe where I tend to banter with the cashiers there, so they at least know me. I’m at the counter ordering my food. She is high-school or college-aged, possibly a student at the local big-shot university.)

Me: “And I’d like a… Boy, are you giggly today!”

Cashier: *giggles*

Me: “I don’t know why you’re so giggly, but look at that smile! Hey, look at how giggly she is!”

Cashier: *giggles some more*

(At this point I’m actually kind of mystified as to what’s so funny, but she takes my order and hands me a number, and I walk away. I walk over to a bench to sit down while they make my order. I look down at my number card, and suddenly all becomes clear. It is the number 69.)

Me: *holding the card up* “I figured it out!”

Cashier: *studiously avoiding looking at me*

(One of her coworkers came around to give me the food and he started snickering, too. It’s been over a week now and she still won’t look at me, which I find utterly hilarious.)

What A Tool

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

(I’m the bad employee here. I’m sitting at my desk in the front office of the storage facility when one of my long-time customers comes through the front door. He’s carrying a tool box.)

Customer: *holding toolbox up* “I’m here to fix what is broken!”

Me: *blinks; he’s not one of my usual workers; in fact, he’s a real estate agent, so I know he’s not actually here to fix anything, but Monday brain has me wondering what’s going on*

Customer: *after the lengthy silence of me not knowing what to say* “Are you broken?”

Me: “Well, I’m certainly not working!”

(He was just taking the tools through to his locker and thought he’d make a joke, but I was so tired that I didn’t understand at first…)

Rent Out Of Shape

| Delmar, MD, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’ve been getting a lot of telemarketing calls on my cell phone even though I’m on the ‘“do not call” list. As annoyed as I am about it, most of the time I simply state that I don’t have student loans, or I don’t have credit cards, or simply that I want to be put on their “do not call” lists. Usually they’re pretty nice about it as long as I’m polite to them. This chap from one of the solar power companies, however… Well, he took the cake and pushed my last button.)

Solar Guy: *goes through his five-minute spiel* “So, are you interested?”

Me: “No, sorry. I don’t own my home; I’m a renter.”

Solar Guy: “Yeah, sure. That’s what they all say. If you’re not interested just say you’re not interested. You don’t have to lie.”

Me: “Dude! I have a 400 credit score. I couldn’t get a loan for a used [marital aid] much less a house!”

Solar Guy: *click*

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