Category: Employees

His Heart Isn’t In The Right Place

| Queensbury, NY, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am seeing my primary doctor for my biannual wellness visit. I had gone into the appointment very concerned because my heart arrhythmia had flared up in the past few weeks. At the end of the appointment:)

Me: “I’d like a referral for a cardiologist, for a consult and a Holter monitor [basically an EKG that you wear for 24-48 hours]. My PVCs have been increasing, and I’m becoming alarmed.”

Doctor: *clearly unconcerned* “I don’t think this is an issue. I don’t hear any skipped beats.” *listens to my chest for maybe three or four seconds, not an exaggeration*

Me: “I respect that, but I want a referral to a cardiologist.”

Doctor: *seemingly annoyed* “All right, I’ll put in that referral for you.”

(He did, and I had the Holter monitor and consult done. At the consult I learnt that literally 23% of my heartbeats were premature, resulting in no blood pumping effectively during those periods. I never went back to that doctor.)

Getting Ahead Of Calling Ahead

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees

(I was passing by a coffee shop that had a sign saying “Today Only: All Beans Half Price!” That sounded good to me, so I decided to buy a couple of pounds.)

Me: “Could I please have a pound of [Bean #1] and a pound of [Bean #2], and can you grind them for me?”

Clerk: “That’s going to take about ten minutes.”

Me: *thinking that she was being considerate about my schedule* “That’s fine; I’m not in a hurry.”

Clerk: “It would have been much faster if you’d called ahead.”

Me: “Well, I didn’t know that I was going to be passing by this shop, and I didn’t know about your sale, so I wouldn’t have been able to call ahead.”

Clerk: “Next time, please call ahead. It would be a lot easier for us, especially when we’re busy.”

(There was exactly one other customer in the shop at this time, and he had already been served.)

Me: “Okay…”

(Ten minutes go by, and my beans are ready.)

Clerk: “Here you go. Remember, next time, call ahead!”

(There wasn’t a next time.)

Prisoned In Pink

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

(While visiting out of state, I see a police officer carrying a set of pink handcuffs. When I join my local police explorer group I bring my own set for the fun of it. The cuff holders on my belt for the most part obscure the cuffs from full view. This happens when I go on a couple of different ride-alongs.)

Officer #1: “You’ve got pink handcuffs? Keep those out of sight.”

Officer #2: “Pink handcuffs? Nice! If we arrest anyone tonight we’re using those!”

H2-Ooooookay

| Ireland | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am meeting a friend after working out in the gym for coffee. I’m still feeling very warm and tired after showering and changing. I arrive before my friend and decide to order as I wait because I’m thirsty.)

Me: *reading the menu board behind the counter*

Barista #1: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, there. Could I get a medium black iced coffee and a bottle of water, please?”

Barista #1: *smiling* “Sorry, we don’t do iced coffee!”

Me: *thinking she’s new, I point behind her* “I think you do! It’s on your menu board underneath the iced tea.”

Barista #1: *seeing it* “Oh, sorry! Hold on.” *calls another worker over*

Barista #2: “Hi! What’s the problem?”

Barista #1: *still staring at the menu board* “Do we do iced coffee?”

Barista #2: “Yeah, we do! I’ll show you how to do it.” *to me* “What size?”

Me: “Medium and black, please. I’m allergic to milk. Oh, and a water as well! Thanks.”

Barista #2: *makes espresso in full view, adds tap water, and puts it in a clear cup* “Any whipped cream on it?”

Me: *confused* “No thanks…? Just plain, no sugar, no milk.”

Barista #2: “Any syrup in it?”

Me: “Erm, no thanks… Just plain black iced coffee, please…”

Barista #2: “Milk? Sugar?”

Me: *staring at her put a lid on my tepid ice-free ‘iced coffee’* “No thanks?”

Barista #2: “Okay, well here you go! Iced coffee with water!”

Me: *staring at the cup of tepid coffee* “Are you sure this is iced?”

Barista #1: “Oh, yes! I saw her use the cold tap!”

Me: *dumbfounded* “And my water?”

Barista #2: “It’s in it!”

(I was too confused and surprised at their stupidity to do anything other than pay for the drink and leave. I called my friend and had her meet me at a different shop where I stuck to drinking water.)

Crabby Conflict

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive, Religion

(I work at a jewelry store and am staying late for inventory. I keep kosher and so far my boss has been pretty good at making alternatives for me. The night of inventory she said she’s gonna order pizza. I remind her that I cannot have pepperoni and to just avoid meat. When I get there she has ordered sushi… with crab. Not wanting to offend her, I don’t mention it until she offers me a piece.)

Me: “I can’t have that, sorry; it’s crab.”

Boss: “But there’s no dairy in it.”

Me: “Ya… kosher is a little bit more complicated than that.”

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