Category: Employees


That’s One For The Books

| AB, Canada | Employees

Me: “Can I get a book of stamps, please?”

(The clerk opens the drawer under the counter where they keep the stamps. She takes out a book of stamps…and another…and another…and another until every book of stamps in the drawer is on the counter.)

Clerk: “These are all we have. Is this enough for a whole book?”


A Bad Package Deal

| London, England, UK | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’m at the post office to post a parcel returning an item of clothing that I bought online.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to post this first class, please.” *holds up parcel to window so cashier can see it*

Cashier: “Okay, just put it on the scale… First class? That’s £3.30.”

Me: “Could I have a proof of postage receipt, please?”

Cashier: “Yes, just let me see the postcode…”

(I hold the parcel up to the window so the cashier can read the address and postcode off the label and type it into the computer. I then pay the £3.30 postage and hand the parcel to the cashier, who puts it in a bag behind her.)

Cashier: “Just so you know, that wasn’t a very heavy parcel, and it was quite small. You should know for next time that if your parcel isn’t very heavy, and it fits through this gauge here, it’ll be cheaper.”

Me: “Um… thanks? It would have been good if I’d known that before.”

Cashier: “Yes, you see it’s cheaper if it’s small enough to fit through this gauge. And your parcel wasn’t very heavy. Just so you know.”

Me: “Okay… it would have been helpful if you’d told me that before I paid, though. I could have repackaged it to make it smaller.”

Cashier: *blank look*


Time For The Telemarketer To Say Uncle

| CA, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

(I have a pretty young sounding voice so sometimes I get calls from telemarketers asking me for my “mommy or daddy.” I get fed up with this so I decided to teach them a lesson by not immediately asking for the person they are calling for by name which would be the more professional route in my opinion.)

Me: “Hello?”

Telemarketer: “Hi, is your mommy or daddy there?”

Me: *in a childlike voice* “Yes, Mommy is in the bedroom with Uncle Sid. Daddy went to work and Uncle Sid came over and Mommy and Uncle Sid went into the bedroom and closed the door and Mommy is screaming. Why is Mommy screaming?”


Murdering Any Future Business

| London, England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

(I am a legal intern, shadowing a lawyer in court. Our client walks in.)

Lawyer: *says very loudly to me whilst client is within earshot* “Ooh, gonna keep this one around. He looks like he might do a murder soon!”