Category: Employees

Inappropriate Question: Abort! Abort!

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

(In my third year of law school I spend my mornings in class and then get one of the campus shuttles downtown to the District Attorney’s office (where criminal prosecutors work), where I have an internship. At this time of day there’s often no one else on the bus. As I get on one day:)

Bus Driver: “So, where are you going today?

Me: “To the DA’s office. I’m in law school and I’m working there.

Bus Driver: “Oh, really? So what do you think about abortion?”

Me: “Umm…”

Bus Driver: “If you’re going to be a DA, then it matters. Did you know that in some places, you can still get an abortion even when the baby is old enough to live outside the uterus?”

Me: “Umm…”

Bus Driver: “I might be voting for you one day. You need to tell me what your views on abortion are.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable talking about that.”

(I went and sat down in the big, empty bus and looked at my phone to avoid eye contact for the rest of the trip. Sorry, Mr. Bus Driver, but 1) while THE District Attorney for each county is elected, the dozens or hundreds of attorneys who prosecute cases are not; 2) DAs, like the police, just enforce the laws that already exist and have nothing to do with making the laws; and 3) my views on abortion are none of your d*** business!)

While The Cat’s Away, The Mice Get Seated Anyway

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Employees

(I go to a restaurant every Friday that has good fish. The owner is almost always there and very particular about seating parties when everyone is there. People have had to wait 30-40 minutes because not everyone in their party is there. The last time I go I overhear this:)

Hostess: “[Name], I can seat you now.”

Member Of Party: “But we’re not all here.”

Hostess: “Neither is the owner.”

(I started laughing and some of the people waiting for the tables didn’t get why it was so funny.)

Unable To Work In A Crunch

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It was a particularly cold day and I had a half hour to spare so I decided to treat myself to a hot chocolate. At the register, there was a sign behind the person taking orders advertising a new “Cookie Cream Crunch” range, with the option of a hot chocolate, a latte, or a frappe.)

Me: “Hi, can I please grab a small Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate?”

Cashier: “Sure. So, that’s one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte?”

Me: “…and a little whipped cream on top. Oh, no, sorry. I wanted the hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Okay, one small hot chocolate?”

Me: “No, a Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, no worries.”

(She spends a little while typing in buttons.)

Cashier: “So one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte with a little bit of whipped cream?”

Me: “Sorry, no. I wanted the Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Right, of course, sorry. $4.20, please.”

(I received a plain hot chocolate.)

Multiple Email Fail

| WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Employees, Technology

(I am the only IT support in an office of 35. It is day one of our conversion to a new email spam filter. Some staff don’t adapt well to change.)

Supervisor: *irritated* “I am expecting an important email and I haven’t received it and it’s not in my junk list.”

Me: *sending a message to ISP* “Supervisor missing important email and still cannot login to new spam filter page to check.

ISP: “Okay, let’s see if we can resolve this spam filter issue once and for all today.”

Me: *sending a message to various staff* “Please attempt to login with your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS (e.g. [email protected]) and EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password.”

Staff Member #1: “I DID use my full email address and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Let’s try adding the @organization.org part and tell me what happens.”

Staff Member #1: “OH! Okay, it works now.”

Staff Member #2: “I saw those emails about trying to log in and I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

Me: *thinking* “So instead you forced me to hunt you down via phone and walk you through it.”

Staff Member #3: “Nope, can’t login.”

Me: “Will you share your credentials with ISP so they can test from their end.”

ISP: “We have no problem logging in with these credentials from this end.”

Staff Member #3: “It works now!”

(I go to the supervisor, after two hours of these inane individual conversations with 18 staff members.)

Me: “Everyone but you can successfully log in to the new spam filter page. Could we please double check that you are using your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS, as in [email protected], and your EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password?”

Supervisor: “I AM using my full email address and email password. Still don’t have that important email!”

ISP: *to me* “Can we get the sender to verify the date/time/address sent. Unlikely but possible it was mis-routed. We could try tracking from this end if we had some more details.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Do we know for sure this important email was sent? Can you give me the contact name and phone so I can verify?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I will contact him.”

ISP: *to me* “Can you please attempt to observe Supervisor login to new spam filter and verify he is using the correct credentials?”

(Supervisor enters “first name” and “password”)

Supervisor: “See, it doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, but how about if we use your FULL email address? Can we try adding the @organization.org part?”

(Logs in successfully.)

Supervisor: “Well, I never had to put that part in before!”

Me: *thinking* “What part of ‘FULL EMAIL ADDRESS’ did you not understand?” *actually saying* “”Well… now you do. And now you know it works.”

(Hours pass…)

ISP: *to me* “Any news on the missing important message? We’d like to clear this trouble ticket.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Any update on verifying details about this missing email?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I have sent a fax and an email message and haven’t heard anything back.”

Me: *thinking* “What the h*** is wrong with using a TELEPHONE?”

(Later I am talking to the big boss.)

Big Boss: “I don’t like the new spam filter interface as much as the old spam filter. And are you going to do some staff training on how to use it?”

Me: *eye twitches*

Wasn’t Banking On It Being So Difficult

| UK | Employees, Language & Words

(I have a phone conversation with my bank this morning regarding my emigration next week. The few things that need sorting are stopping further cheque books as any actions can be done online, and no more letters to my present/future address, just emails. It takes over an hour: identification over the phone is an utter nightmare as the bloke at the other end (obviously not with English as his first language) asks me to spell out every word and has trouble putting the letters back into words; he doesn’t know the word ’emigrating’ and keeps asking when I will return from my travels to the Emirates. Twice he tells me to hang up so he can ring me back because the line is apparently crap at his end, and both times we have to go through the identification process again. Then he gives up and passes me on to a colleague who goes through the identification again, and after a few minutes tells me to hang up so she can call me again. Spelling out the various names of town and street I am moving to is beyond belief as well.)

Me: “M for Mama.”

Clerk: “You mean ‘M’ for Mother?”

Me: *groan* “Yes, ‘M’ for Mother. ‘R’ for Romeo.”

Clerk: “Romeo? You mean Richard.”

Me: *about to auto combust*