Category: Employees

A Cancer On Your Productivity

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Liars/Scammers

(This is my mother’s experience. She manages a branch of an advertising company and her job can be quite hectic, as she deals with some idiotic workers. This coworker has been ditching work, so my mom and the other managers decide to fire her.)

Mom: “Hey, where’s [Coworker]?”

HR: “Huh, I don’t know. Let me call her.”

(Later that day:)

HR: “Hey, I got in touch with [Coworker] and she says she’s going to be out for ten days because she was diagnosed with skin cancer today.”

Mom: “Oh!”

HR: “And she is starting treatment tomorrow.”

Mom: “…Oh.”

(My mom knows this is another trick because my dad once had skin cancer, and treatment definitely didn’t start the next day. And it pretty much never will for any type of cancer. Then, this happens the next day.)

Mom: “Where is [Coworker]? We need to fire her.

Other Manager: “She just called in sick. Apparently she has a fever.”

Mom: “I thought she had cancer? You know what forget it. Call HR. Get [two other managers] on, too. We’re going to fire her over the phone if we have to.”

(Long story short, They called. She was fired, broke down in “tears,” and threatened to sue. She actually had her lawyer contact the company’s, who gave her lawyer her time sheet and demanded proof of her “cancer.” Surprise, surprise, she backed down.)

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Stupidity

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(My dad and I are out and decide to get lunch at Wendy’s rather soon after the Baconator comes out.)

Drive-Thru: “Welcome to Wendy’s. Can I take your order?”

Dad: “Can I get a cheeseburger meal with a Diet Coke and a Baconator meal with a Sprite?”

Drive-Thru: “Do you want bacon on that?”

Those Are Some Pretty Smart Guinea Pigs

| SK, Canada | Employees, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I’m nine years old. I’m about to get my first pets — guinea pigs. My mom made me research them before we got them, and my research said it was best to get two guinea pigs who were sisters. I call my chosen pet store to see if they have guinea pigs.)

Me: “Hi, do you have guinea pigs?”

Clerk: “We sure do! We’ve got quite a variety right now!”

Me: “That’s great! Do you have any sisters?”

Clerk: *without a pause* “I do have sisters. One’s a nurse and one’s a teacher.”

Me: “I meant… do you have guinea pigs who are sisters?”

Clerk: “…Oh. Yes, we do.”

Reorder The Order In Which You Order

| Hillsboro, OR, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(I regularly stop by a popular fast food restaurant on my way to work and I always order the same thing. This time the employee tries to remember my order before I give it.)

Employee: “Number three?”

Me: “Five.”

Employee: “Medium?”

Me: “Large.”

Employee: “Barbecue sauce?”

Me: “Sweet and sour.”

Employee: “For here?”

Me: “To go.”

Employee: *laughs*

Me: *also laughing* “By the end there I was starting to think you were doing it on purpose!”

Putting The ‘Wait’ Into Waitress

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(After a long hectic week, I meet my mom for lunch at her favorite restaurant in town. I’m the first to arrive and my mom shows up a couple minutes later. After 10 minutes, our waitress comes back.)

Mom: “We’d like to start off with the mussels.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *she doesn’t write anything down*

Mom: “And for my entree, I would like—”

(Waitress just walks off.)

Me: “…”

(Several minutes go by and we don’t see our waitress at all.)

Other Waiter: “Have you ladies been served?”

Mom: “We put in an appetizer but can we get some water?”

Other Waiter: “And bread?”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

Other Waiter: “Sure, no problem.”

(The other waiter drops off our waters and bread. We still haven’t seen our waitress. Just as we’re about to leave, the waitress shows up with our mussels.)

Waitress: “Oh, you two already have waters.”

Me: “Yeah, one of the other waiters got them for us while you were in the back.”

Waitress: “Oh, good.”

(The waitress walks off again. I’m stunned that she left before getting our entrees but we start eating the mussels. After the mussels, our waitress still isn’t back.)

Other Waiter: “Are you done?”

Me: “Yes.”

Other Waiter: “Okay, let me get this plate from you guys.” *gathers up everything and takes them to the back*

(The waitress finally comes back.)

Waitress: “Okay, what can I get for you ladies?”

Mom: “I would like the salmon salad with extra sesame dressing on the side. I would also like the feta cheese on the side as well.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *again she doesn’t write anything down* “And you?” *turning her head to me*

Me: “I would like the red fish grilled, blue crab crusted, with your seasonal vegetables.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(She then walks off.)

Mom: “How long do you think it will be for her to come back this time?”

Me: “I’m guessing 15 minutes.”

Mom: “Is she new?”

Me: “She better be new.”

(The other waiter comes with a pitcher of water to re-fill our glasses.)

Mom: “We’re your unofficial table today.”

Other Waiter: *laughs* “It seems that way.”

(Twenty minutes later, we’re pretty much sticking around to see what this waitress does next. She shows up with our orders.)

Mom: “I thought I ordered the feta cheese on the side?”

Waitress: “Oh… well… it’s only surrounding the salmon.”

(The entire bottom of the salmon is coated in feta cheese. Mom begins picking off the cheese. The waitress walks off.)

Me: *watching mom* “It looks like the extra dressing was added to the salad, not on the side.”

Mom: “That’s what I noticed as well. So much for the extra dressing in this tub.” *still picking cheese out of her salad*

(A manager comes to our table.)

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, that your waitress messed up your order. Would you like for me to bring you out a new one?”

Mom: “No, I hate to waste food.”

(My order came out as I correctly albeit the seasonal vegetable have overtaking my plate and pushing my fish to a small corner.)

Me: *shyly giggling* “I guess someone in the back saw that the green beans expire today.”

Mom: “That’s what it looks like.”

(We eat our meals but don’t finish it all. By now, the restaurant is shifting from lunch to dinner so the place has died down. Without a word, the waitress drops off our checks and walks off. I flag down the other waiter.)

Me: “I have a coupon for a free dessert. Do I have to eat it here in order to use the coupon?”

Other Waiter: “No, what would you like?”

Me: “The [dessert].”

Other Waiter: “One [dessert] coming up.”

(A couple minutes, he returns with my dessert in a box. A minute later, waitress comes back to take our check. I like to pay for everything on my card while my mom likes to pay for her meal with her card and tip with cash. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: “Did you want me to use the cash first and then pay the rest on the card?”

(Mom takes the cash.)

Waitress: “Okay.”

(The waitress walks off again. I can’t help but giggle. Mom rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. I get my card and am stunned to find five receipts with it. Why she printed off and gave me five identical receipts I don’t know. I add a tip, sign the top one, and leave it on the table.)

Waitress: “Okay, is there anything I can get you two?”

Us: *in unison* “No, we’re good.”

(The waitress walks off while we’re talking.)

Us: *in unison* “Uh… ma’am. Ma’am. MA’AM!”

(The waitress stops and looks at us.)

Me: “Can we get to-go boxes?”

(She simply nods and quickly comes back with boxes for us.)

Mom: “That’s the quickest she’s been all day.”

Me: “I know!”