Category: Employees

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Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 8

| TX, USA | Employees, Pokemon

(My friends and I decide to meet up at a well-known pancake house after band practice. ‘Pokémon Go’ has just come out.)

Me: *as I join my friends at the table* “Hey, guys! I just caught a Vulpix outside, right in the parking lot!”

(Three of the servers whipped their phones out and hurried outside.)

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 7
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 6
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 5

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Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean, Part 3

| Salt Lake City, Utah, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(My friend has a very severe case of Celiac disease and cannot eat any gluten without getting incredibly ill. She’s very cautious about what she eats and always makes sure to request gluten free when ordering food, either for delivery or in a restaurant. It’s Saturday night and we’re having game night at her house. My husband and her husband decide they really want pizza, so we call one of the few local pizza places that guarantee a gluten-free crust with no cross-contamination. When the pizzas arrive, we all start to dig in, until friend realizes something is very wrong.)

Friend: “Ugh! This isn’t gluten free! This is thin crust!”

Me: “Are you sure? Maybe the gluten free is a thin crust.”

Friend’s Husband: “Here, let me taste it.” *he takes a bite* “Nope, definitely not gluten free, and there’s flour all over the bottom of it.”

Friend: “Grrr! Give me the phone, this is bull****!” *dials the restaurant* “Yes, I just had a pizza delivery to my house, and I specifically ordered a small gluten free with bacon and mushrooms, and I can guarantee this is not gluten free.”

(Pause.)

Friend: “Yes, I would love to speak to your manager.”

(Pause.)

Friend: “Hi, yes, I just ordered from your store and specifically ordered a small gluten free pizza with bacon and mushrooms, and not only is this not your gluten free crust, but it’s covered in flour.”

(Pause.)

Friend: “No, I can’t just ‘eat the pizza;’ I have Celiac disease. Do you know what that is?”

(Pause.)

Friend: “No, it’s not a fad diet. It means if I eat gluten I end up throwing up and having diarrhea for days.”

(Pause.)

Friend: “What I want you to do about it is remake the pizza correctly and have it delivered.”

(Pause.)

Friend:

“Yeah, I’m sure you are busy, given that it’s Saturday night, but if you guys had done it correctly the first time this wouldn’t be an issue.”

(Pause.)

Friend: “NO, I AM NOT GIVING YOU MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER! YOU MESSED UP MY ORDER! I AM NOT PAYING FOR A SECOND PIZZA WHEN YOU’RE THE ONES THAT SCREWED UP!”

(Pause.)

Friend:“YES, IT HAS TO BE DELIVERED TONIGHT. I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY EAT TONIGHT!”

(Pause.)

Friend:“Okay, let me explain what I would like from you. I do not want a voucher. I do not want a refund. I just want to be able to eat tonight. I don’t care if it’s going to take 45 minutes to get another pizza to me. Please just remake the pizza, how I ordered it, and have it delivered as soon as possible.”

(Pause.)

Friend:“Okay, great.

Me: “Wow, so, how’d it go?”

Friend: *gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen*

(When her replacement pizza arrived the delivery guy knocked and then left it on the porch before we could grab the door. It was gluten free – but bacon and peppers instead of bacon and mushrooms. She ate it anyway and hasn’t ordered from there since.)

Related:
Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean, Part 2
Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean

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Employing New Tactics

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

(I work as a courtesy clerk, and despite wearing the uniform, I am constantly asked if I worked there. I start getting creative.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Nope, but I’m employed here.”

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Three Times A Shouting Lady

| UT, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees

(I work for an inbound call center, taking orders for a wide variety of products advertised on TV and radio. Callers order the advertised item, and then I have several screens of up-sells and add-ons that I have to offer to them. I am required to offer every additional item unless the customer states he or she is not interested in any extras three times, which hardly ever happens, no matter how mad they sometimes become. This call is for a product with eight add-ons. After completing the order information for the main item…)

Caller: “Now, I know you have, like, a dozen other things to sell me. Thanks to problems with my phone and my credit card, this is the fourth time I’ve called and gone through this ordeal this morning. I’ve heard it all before. I’m tired, and I’m frustrated, and I’m really trying not to get angry at you because you’re just doing your job, but I need to get this thing for my daughter. Do we really have to go through all the other stuff?”

(I could hear the exhaustion in her voice and wanted to help her out, but if I didn’t offer the extras, I could face disciplinary action. Then I had an idea.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I do have a few additional offers for products that complement [Item] very well, and I would like to tell you about them. I think there’s a problem with my headset, though, because I’m having a bit of trouble hearing you.”

Caller: “I said I’m not interested in any additional items.”

Me: “What was that?”

Caller: “I SAID I’m NOT INTERESTED in buying ANYTHING ELSE!”

Me: “One more time, please?”

Caller: “I ONLY WANT [ITEM]! Nothing else!”

Me: “Thank you. Because you have stated you only want [Item] three times, I can now skip all the additional offers. Page forward one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight. There. Standard shipping or express, ma’am?”

Caller: “You heard me just fine, didn’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Caller: “Well played, young man. Very well played. Express shipping, please.”

Me: “Express shipping it is. The total that will be charged to your credit card is [Price], and your package is expected to arrive within 3-5 business days. Thank you for ordering [Item]. I hope the rest of your day is better that it has been so far.”

Caller: “I think it will be.”

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Doesn’t Know What You(tah) Are Talking About

| MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography

(I am moving cross country by myself with all of my belongings in a little pickup truck. Note that I’m female, in my early 20s, and look like I’m 14. After a long day of driving, I pull into the first hotel I see that looks like it is in my budget.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a room for tonight?”

Worker: “Okay, I need your ID and a credit card to put you in the system.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(I handed over my driver license and credit card. The worker stares at my ID for a moment and says:)

Worker: “Utah? Where is Utah?”

Me: “It’s a state? Further west of here?”

Worker: “I’ve never heard of Utah before.”

Me: “I promise you, it’s a state in the USA and that’s a real driver license.”

(He takes my ID and credit card to a back room where I see him talk frantically to another employee for about five minutes. I am exhausted, so I lean against the counter and wait.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your credit card is no good. The charge won’t go through.”

Me: “What? Are you sure? Can you try running it again? I know there is more than enough money left on it for a room tonight.”

(He took my card and went back to that room for a moment.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your card isn’t any good. You can’t stay here tonight.”

(I left the hotel and went to another place down the road. The worker at that desk knew where Utah was, saw how tired I was, heard my story, and reserved me a room. He then told me that he wouldn’t let me check in until I took a coupon from their lobby, got myself a hot meal (using the coupon), and gave me a killer discount! A few days later, after settling into my new home, I checked my bank account. The first hotel had charged me as a no call, no show and their corporate office refused to believe that I had shown up and been turned away. It took a lot of arguing to get them to refund me the money for that night.)