Category: Employees


I Can’t Believe You’re Not Telling People It’s Not Butter

| MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(We had recently switched to using a weird shelf stable ‘butter’ to use with our bread. It tastes and has a texture similar to butter flavored popcorn oil. None of the employees like it and we all feel embarrassed by the constant complaints we’ve been getting about it. The wait staff seems especially unsure of what to say when asked what it is, since management doesn’t want us to tell people it’s not butter, as though no one will be able to tell the difference. I’m a cook, but we’re very slow so I’m standing in the dining room watching the television. The waitress is a few tables over, taking an order.)

Customer: “Do you use real butter on your bread?”

Waitress: *clearly unsure of what to say* “Um… [My Name], do we use real butter?”

Me: *laughs and walks back into kitchen*

Waitress: *looks embarrassed*

Customer: *making a face* “I’ll have my bread dry, then.”

(The waitress comes into the kitchen to give me the order.)

Waitress: I can’t believe you did that!”

Me: “You know it’s not butter.”

Waitress: “But you didn’t have to laugh!”

Me: “And you didn’t have to ask me a dumb question!”


Unable To Secure The Sign

| QC, Canada | Employees, Technology

(There is a knock on the door. I open and there’s a guy, obviously uneasy, holding a ADT security sign in his hand.)

Salesman: “Good evening. How would you like to have one of these on your lawn?”

(It really looks like this is his first attempts at selling security systems. He’s really nervous.)

Me: “Yes, sure. Just put it right in front of the living room window, please.”

Salesman: *taken aback* “Err… it’s that… you have to buy a security system to get it.”

Me: “Ah. No thank you, then. Goodbye.”


Comes Pre-Damaged

| England, UK | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(We have decided to buy a new house. We have been waiting for months for the building to finish and have been driving around the area every couple of weeks to see how it is getting on. I notice things are nearing completion but notice something very worrying. I call the building helpline.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]. I’m in the process of buying a plot in [Area].”

Site Manager: “Yes?”

Me: “I’ve noticed some very concerning damage to the property, I’m not an expert but I would reckon that if this is not fixed now I will be stuck with it.”

Site Manager: “What damage? The houses aren’t even finished yet!”

Me: “The porch is cracked and the render has massive chunks taken out of it. It looks awful. I would like to know that they will be repaired before exchange.”

Site Manager: “I don’t know what you are talking about; I will speak with one of the people on site.”

(He doesn’t get back to me for a week, I have to call again.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. I’m calling about [Site] and some damage.”

Site Manager: Yeah, I got one of the guys to go down there. They will repair the damage. Frankly, you shouldn’t be calling me.”

Me: “The property had some serious damage. We are going to move in soon.”

Site Manager: *aggressively* “If you brought a new car with a few stone chips you wouldn’t call the manufacture, would you?”

Me: “If I spent £170,000 on a new car, I would, yes! I will be checking the property this weekend; if the damage isn’t fixed to a decent standard I will be contacting you again and the NHBC.” *a building organization*

Site Manager: *suddenly much calmer* “Look, I told you they would be done and they will.”

(The damage was never properly repaired and took two years of chasing to get done, but not before the porch fell completely off due to the bad repair.)


Talking To An Auto-Bot

| QC, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(My girlfriend is shopping for a new car. We get to the Car Brand dealership. When we go in, all the salespersons are in a circle, chatting, in the middle of the showroom. The car my girlfriend wants to see is the Car Brand Model, and there’s one right behind the group. We approach and a salesman breaks off the group and comes toward us.)

Salesman: “Hello, may I help you?”

Me: “We’d like to see the [Car Brand Model].” *pointing to the car behind him*

Salesman: “Perfect. Come with me to my office. We’ll fill up the customer information form.”

Me: “Err… Is it possible to have a look at the car first?”

Salesman: “We’ll do that later. We should fill the customer information form so I can help you choose the right car.”

Me: “How about a pamphlet?”

Salesman: “I’ll get you that in my office.”

(To me, he’s already starting on the left foot. We get to his office. He starts off with the standard questions of name and address, etc.)

Salesman: “So you’re looking at the [Car Brand Model]. What attracted you to this car? Is it price, design, performance, economy?”

Me: “I can’t answer that; you prevented us from approaching the car.”

Salesman: *blank look*

(My girlfriend and I are looking at each other, already thinking of leaving.)

Me: “Look. We want a car that is fuel efficient and not too expensive…”

Salesman: “So, economy and price.” *while checking those choices, then continues down his darn form*

Salesman: “Okay. How much are you current car payments?”

Me: *firm* “No.”

Salesman: “Ah, it’s all paid off, then.”

Me: “No. I’m not giving you this information.”

Salesman: “Well, if you want me to direct you to the best car for your payment, you have to tell me.”

Me: *starting to be annoyed* “Look. We’d like to have a price for the [Car Brand Model] and get our trade-in evaluated…”

Salesman: *cutting me off, turning his computer screen toward us* “Well, if it’s a price you want, you just have to go to the [Car Brand] website.”

Me: *in disbelief* “We already went there. I want to know the value of the trade-in, and we’d like to SEE and TRY the car.” *tone getting louder*

Salesman: “Ah… well, I’ll go see if my manager can arrange for a test drive. We’ll check the trade-in while you test drive it.”

(He leaves.)

Girlfriend: *to me* “He has to go ask permission to his manager for a test drive? Want to leave already?”

Me: “Let’s have a look at the car first.”

(We sit in the car and look around. For a variety of reasons, we don’t like it. Being polite and not wanting to appear to have stormed out, we wait for the salesman. It takes him a good ten minutes to come back.)

Salesman: “I just talk to my manager and it’s okay for a test drive.”

Me: “Forget it. We saw it and it’s not for us.”

(We left. I changed my car recently. Needless to say I didn’t even set foot at that dealership.)


Burnin’ Down The House!

| USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

(My husband calls our insurance company to discuss our home insurance because our coverage is too high compared to the value of our home.)

Employee: “The reason it’s so high is if something catastrophic happened to your home the first thing we would do is pay off your mortgage, then build you a new house.”

Husband: “Wait, what? If our house is destroyed we get a brand new house and no mortgage?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Husband: “That can’t be right; everyone would just burn down their houses! Can I talk to your supervisor?”

(The supervisor gets on the line and my husband repeats the conversation so far.)

Supervisor: “No, that’s not right. If we did that everyone would just burn down their houses!”

Husband: “That’s what I said!”

Supervisor: “We will have a talk to that associate about this. Now, let’s take a look at your policy.”