Category: Employees


Children’s Options Are Not On The Menu

| IL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m out to lunch with my parents and my younger sister. At the time this story takes place, I’ve recently graduated college. I’ve been told for years that I have a very young face, and am still asked what high school I attend. I usually laugh it off. Note: my sister is still young enough at this point to need a kids’ menu.)

Hostess: “So, that’ll be four for lunch with one kids’ menu.” *looks at me* “Oh, would you like one too?”

(I assume she is joking, as she looks to be about my age, and start laughing.)

Hostess: *very seriously* “So, that’s a no on the kids’ menu, then?”

(I stop laughing and realize that not only was she serious, she now looks very offended by my response to her question.)

Me: “Ah… no. No kids’ menu. I’m 23.”

Hostess: “Oh… OH!! Well… uh… here comes your server. Have a good day!” *ducks behind the counter*

(My parents managed to make it to our table before they burst out laughing.)


Trawling For Trowels

| MD, USA | Employees

(I’ve recently moved from an apartment to a townhouse and finally have a backyard — if a small one. Since I have that space, I decide I’m going to start a vegetable garden and go to get supplies. As one of the first nice days of spring, the “garden center” is packed. Though I find most of what I need, I can’t find hand tools and so I go to the one worker who doesn’t seem to be busy helping anyone.)

Me: “Hi, do you know where the gardening trowels are?”

Worker: *looks confused* “Trowel…?”

Me: “Um, one of those pointed smaller shovels?”

Worker: “Oh! Tiny shovels! They’re over here.”

(She was able to show me where the trowels were, but I think I found out why she wasn’t as busy as everyone else in gardening!)


Making Sure You’ll Never Leaf Your Job

| Newport, KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I’m entering my fourth summer at the restaurant I work at. During the spring and summer months, I primarily serve on our terrace patio. The atmosphere is beautiful, with trees and flowers decorating the patio fence. Unfortunately, it causes quite a bit of natural debris that takes entirely too much time to sweep up, and I seem to be the only one who cares enough to do a thorough job.)

Me: *to the general manager* “So, can we get a leaf blower this year? I just spent nearly an hour sweeping up a winter’s worth of crap.”

(She gives me a noncommittal answer and I leave for the night. The next day…)

General Manager: “[Assistant Manager] has a present for you tomorrow.”

(I exchange confused looks with General Manager and Assistant Manager when General Manager gives me a subtle wink.)

Me: *excitedly* “Are we getting a leaf blower?” *she nods* “A LEAF BLOWER! YAY!”

(I start doing a happy dance and spend the next half hour prancing around the restaurant singing about leaf blowers.)

Coworker: “Why the h*** are you so happy about a leaf blower?”

Me: *whispering* “Leaf bloweerrrrr…”

(It made cleaning the patio ground so much easier (and more fun) the next night. Yay, leaf blower!)


A Textbook Case Of Inattentiveness

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’ve gone to the textbook store across from my college, since the campus bookstore’s card readers are down and I really need this book. Surprisingly, I’m their only customer.)

Cashier #1: “Oh, I guess I could, you know…” *waves me over*

Me: “I need [Book] by [Name]. Here, it’s the middle one.”

(I hand her my handwritten list of my books and what they all cost to rent or buy different places. She looks at the paper a while, types a little on her computer, and disappears into the shelves. She pops back up with the correct book.)

Cashier #1: “This is the one, yeah?”

Me: “Yes, that’s it.”

(She scans it into her computer, starts typing, and then just sort of… sits there.)

Me: “How much is it?”

Cashier #1: “Huh?”

Me: “How much does it cost?”

Cashier #1: “Just this one? It’s seventy four [mumble], but with tax it’s eighty [mumble] four.”

Me: “Wait, it’s eighty eight with tax?!”

Cashier #1: “Eighty AND oh-four.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I get out my debit card, and she then asks for my ID. She runs my driver’s license through a special reader and hands it back, and then swipes my debit card.)

Cashier #1: “Credit or debit?”

Me: “Debit.”

(Once again, after a few keystrokes she just seems to mentally wander off for a minute, before noticing I’m still standing there staring at her.)

Cashier #1: “Oh, uh, credit or debit?”

Me: “DEBIT.”

Cashier #1: “If you could enter your PIN.” *points to keypad hiding under some fliers*

Cashier #2: “Hey, so, did you see what they did this weekend?”

Cashier #1: “Yeah, it was so funny. I mean, they—”

Cashier #2: “Yeah, and then—”

Cashier #1: “It was just the best. Am I right?”

(My receipt finishes printing; my cashier has to hunt down a stapler for the two parts of my receipt. She sets my receipt and my debit card on my book and hands it to me, but suddenly snatches back the receipt.)

Cashier #1: “Wait a second with that!” *reads over receipt* “Uh, did I see your ID already?”

Me: “Yes…”

Cashier #1: “Because I was totally wondering how it got your name and stuff.”

(I have no idea what she was on, but I hope it wore off before her shift ended!)


Getting Fractionally Worse

| London, England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I have cystic fibrosis, so I’m in the hospital a lot. Every time I go in, I have to have a special needle put in which “plugs” into a valve (called a portacath) under my skin. This has been routine for me since it was put in at age 14, when I was still very small. I’m now 20 and in an adult hospital, so the nurses sometimes have an issue with the fact that I need child-sized needles.)

Nurse: *knocks on door* “We’re ready to put your port needle in now. Is this a good time?”

Me: “Yes, but have you been told about the needle size I need?”

(He just stares at me.)

Me: “Large needles won’t fit into my portacath; I need child-size ones. Half-inch.”

Nurse: “We have three-quarters and one inch.”

Me: “Okay… but those are too big. I need a half-inch. If you absolutely can’t get a half-inch, a five-eighths will just be able to fit with a lot of dressing.”

Nurse: “Our needles are three-quarters.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “A three-quarters will not fit. It’s too big.”

Nurse: “What about one inch?”

Me: “That’s BIGGER, so, no, that won’t fit either.”

Nurse: “Um…”

Me: “I need a five-eighths needle, because I doubt you’ll be able to find the one-half. Five-eighths. Anything else will be TOO BIG.”

Nurse: “We are going to have to do it with a three-quarters if that’s okay.”

Me: “Go get another nurse, please.”

(The other nurse immediately understood and managed to find a five-eighths needle without any issues. The first nurse didn’t come into my room again, and I only ever saw him changing bedding after that.)