Category: Employees

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Wheat Versus Meat

| OR, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I have Celiac Disease, an auto-immune disorder that causes my body to attack my digestive tract whenever I eat gluten. My wife and I walk into a local deli known for its ham. There are two women conversing behind the counter and no other customers.)

Me: “Hey, I have a question. I can’t eat gluten, so I need to know if you clean the tongs and ladles before I order anything.”

Girl #1: “Um… No, why would we?”

Me: “Well, cross-contamination, and you’re kind of supposed to for health and safety reasons.”

(I’m already starting to get nervous, but I’m really hungry right now, so I push

forward.)

Me: “Could you just tell me what might have gluten in it?”

Girl #2: “What’s gluten?”

Me: “Uh, it’s anything that has wheat, rye, or barley.”

Girl #1: “Well, that’s everything here.”

Me: *blinking, a little dumbfounded* “What do you mean?” *I clearly see several products that have no sauce, and look like they were only baked or sliced*

Girl #2: “The animals eat wheat, right?”

Girl #1: “So that could be in the meat.”

Me: “It… doesn’t work that way.”

Girl #1: “Well, we can’t be sure.”

(At this point, I was fed up. I turned around and said my thanks for their help and got the heck out of there. I recently learned that the deli closed some time later.)

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Trying In Vain-illa

| USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I’m in the mood for vanilla ice cream, so I stop by a shop.)

Me: “One small cup of vanilla, please.”

Worker: “Sure, will that be vanilla bean, French vanilla, or Madagascar vanilla?”

Me: “Um… Bean?”

Worker: “Sure.”

(He goes to a flavor labeled white chocolate and starts filling it up.)

Me: “Um, I wanted vanilla not white chocolate.”

Worker: “Oh, they’re the same thing.”

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No Cause For Pregnant Pause

| TN, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Popular, Religion

(I have been having issues with nausea related to acid reflux for a few weeks, and over the last couple of days have been vomiting enough that I end up very dehydrated, feeling very weak, and with a pounding headache. Since I’m still too nauseated to drink enough to re-hydrate I end up deciding to go to the ER, hoping I can get some IV fluids before I get dangerously dehydrated. This conversation happens after I explain all this to the doctor.)

Doctor: “I see… is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No. Not at all.”

Doctor: “Are you sure? I mean, young woman, has had nausea for several weeks…”

Me: “No, see, unless I majorly misunderstood something in Sex Ed, then I’m really very extra sure that there is no way I could possibly be pregnant. There are some prerequisite activities to being pregnant that I have not engaged in, so…”

Doctor: *catching on and smiling* “Well, you never know. I mean, there has been at least one documented case; they even wrote a whole book about it. And this IS a Catholic hospital!”