Category: Employees

Out-Of-Towners

| QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Employees, Technology

(After I move from a big city to a remote town, I need to call my cell phone provider to make a few changes to my account. The worker who answers the phone after about a fifteen minute wait time is talking with a very heavy accent. It is clear that she was either a first generation immigrant, or is working in a call center in another country.)

Worker: “Thank you for reaching [Cell Phone Company]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi. I need to change my local call zone as I have moved, and I would like to change my pre-paid plan for a regular plan.”

Worker: “We can only treat one issue per call. You will have to call back for the second one.”

(At this point I think this to be very bad customer service, but assume it wouldn’t do any good to argue.)

Me: “Well, okay… Let’s start with the local call zone. I recently moved from [Big City] to [Remote Town].”

Worker: *after about five seconds* “I can’t find [Remote Town]. Do you have another city?”

(Again, I find this odd, but I figure the other towns around would still be in the same zone. However, those other towns have complicated names, and it’s safe to assume that someone who never heard of them would make a spelling mistake while searching for those towns in a database.)

Me: “Okay, what about [Town #2]?”

Worker:  *after a few seconds only* “I don’t have that. Do you have another town?”

Me: “Hmm… maybe [Town #3]?”

Worker: *after a few seconds again* “I don’t have that. Do you have another town?”

(At this point, I’m about 100% sure she didn’t spell the names right, because I know this company has cell phone coverage in the area I’m in.)

Me: “Are you sure you’re spelling the names right? Those towns have tricky names and—”

Worker: *cutting me off* “Yes, sir, I’m sure. I don’t have those places in my list. Do you have another town?”

Me: “Well, the next town over is about 500 km from where I live, so I guess not.”

Worker: “Okay. Since we haven’t been able to resolve your first issue, we can go ahead and change your plan without you having to call back. So, what plan would you be interested in today?”

Me: “Is this serious? You cannot set me up in a local call zone, and now you expect me to stay with your company, AND to switch from my pre-pay plan to a regular plan?”

Worker: “Well, we have a lot of good plans.”

Me: “Never mind.” *click*

(I called their competitor, and got everything working the way I wanted within the hour. And they have actual decent customer service!)

Drinking Until You See Red

| WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

(I need a red wine for cooking. I choose to buy one of the cheaper cartons which come in an array of colors, but I know nothing about wine and can’t see through the cardboard to tell which are red. I grab a purple carton and flag down an employee.)

Me: “Excuse me; do you know if this is red?”

Employee: *looking at me for a second* “No, that one’s purple. The red cartons are over here.”

Me: “Oh! Um, I meant the actual wine. You know, red or white.”

Employee: “Sorry, I don’t know!” *she walks away without getting anyone to help me*

(In retrospect, she probably thought I was color blind and couldn’t tell the difference between red and purple!)

A Poor Assessment

| TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Liars/Scammers

(My husband is in the hospital for a very serious illness. Our son is 13 years old and our family is stressed and preoccupied. The washing machine breaks down in the middle of all this chaos and I am just dreading dealing with it, but I call the service center of the place we bought it and they say the repairman will be out the next day. Half an hour later, I get a call that the repairman can come today because he is way ahead of schedule. Within 15 minutes, the repairman arrives… A man who looks about 100 years old shows up with his side-kick, who looks about 17 and clueless. The old man gives the washer a good look while my son and I sit waiting. The clueless assistant just stands there looking at us with a panicked grin.)

Old Man: “Yep. It’s broke.”

Me: “Can it be fixed?”

Old Man: “Yep. It is fixable.”

Me: “Oooo-kaaay. Are you going to fix it?”

Old Man: “Well, little lady, I’ll tell you what… I COULD fix it if I had brought my tools.”

Me: *trying to ignore my son who is beginning to laugh his rear end off* “Well, do you have your tools in your truck? What are you going to do? I am confused.”

(The grinning sidekick shakes his head up and down “yes” vigorously.)

Old Man: “Well, I think I could work you in, in three or four days. I didn’t bring any tools today and I am just giving everyone a quick look today.”

(Now, I am starting to laugh with my son because it is crazy!)

Me: “So, are you giving estimates today? What?”

Old Man: “No, I can’t give you no estimate. Who knows what it will cost? Sometimes when I go out, it is just a plug not plugged in, or the load is out of balance. That kind of a fix don’t require no tools. I like to make sure that there is a need for tools before I bring them with me. Now, YOU… you need tools.”

(The sidekick looks sad and shakes head side to side signifying “no”, I guess. He then pulls out a notebook and I think he is going to schedule me for later in the week. But, NO! He hands me a bill for $75 for an “assessment visit.” I object.)

Old Man: “You don’t understand business terms. Assessment is not the same thing as estimate.”

(I told him I was not paying it. And he left after telling me that he understood how complicated business was for some folks. After he left my son and I just collapsed on the sofa laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. We did report the old fella, we did not pay the $75, and we went with another repair person. But, he did give us a much needed laugh at a time when we needed it badly. Thanks, old fella!)

Giving You Guardianship Of My Details

| Burnsville, MN, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am 27 and I qualify for a waiver in my county to get home health services. I am having a phone call with my county worker.)

Worker: “Do you have your dad’s number?”

Me: “Why?”

Worker: “Won’t he be there?”

Me: “He’s dead.”

Worker: “Do you have a guardian?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Worker: “Oh I must have mixed you with another client.”

(This bodes well.)

How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 17

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I work overnights and go to bed shortly after I get home. My family won’t wake me up if people call for me when I’m sleeping and will take messages for me. Lately, someone has been calling several times in the morning asking for me. The callers refuse to leave any information, so they’ve taken a creative route with these people. Also of note, I’m a III (the third) in my family and my dad is Jr., with his deceased father as Sr. Here’s a couple of the ways they have their fun.)

Story #1:

Mom: *answers phone* “Hello?”

Caller: “I need to speak to [My Name]. It’s an important matter.”

Mom: “Which one?”

Caller: *repeats my name*

Mom: “I know that, but which one? There’s more than one.”

Caller: “Senior.”

Mom: “He’s dead.”

Caller: *probably checking notes at this point* “The Third.”

Mom: “He’s a day sleeper. Would you like to leave a message?”

Caller: “He’ll want to take this call. Put him on the phone.”

Mom: “Who is this?”

Caller: “I need to speak to [My Name].”

Mom: “I heard you. Who is this?”

Caller: “Who am I speaking to right now!?”

Mom: “[Mom]. ”

Caller: “What are you, his wife, mother, sister, daughter, cousin, niece?”

Mom: “I told you what you wanted to know. Now it’s your turn to share.”

Caller: “I don’t think I need to speak to you anymore.” *click*

Story #2

Sister: “Who is this?”

Caller: “We’re representing [Law Office] and have issued a lawsuit against [My Name].”

Sister: “When did you file it?”

Caller: “Last week.”

Sister: “Then why the **** are you calling now if it’s already been filed?”

Caller: “We need to urgently speak to him.”

Sister: “Answer my d*** question.”

Caller: “This is a personal matter between [My Name] and this office.”

Sister: “Give me your home number so he can call you when it’s convenient for him.”

Caller: “My home number?”

Sister: “Unless you’re going to be in your office at one am!”

Caller: *click*

(Seeing as how I haven’t received anything regarding a lawsuit yet and it’s been a few weeks since they started calling, we’re pretty sure it’s just a scam.)

Related:
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 16
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 15
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 14