Category: Employees

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A Bag Day To Quit Bagging

| Germany | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

Me: “Hi. I’ll take [Burger] with a large diet [Soda].”

Employee: “Sure. Will this be a takeaway?”

Me: “Yep.” *being really eco-minded and knowing they pack everything several times in this particular chain* “But I don’t need a bag for the burger.”

Employee: *looks at me dumbfounded for about 20 seconds, then grabs a bag*

Me: “Excuse me. Thank you, but I really don’t need a bag.”

Employee: *looks dumbfounded again for quite some time, then bags the burger nevertheless* “Here you go.”

(I walk out and go sit in the car. A friend who was ordering at the register next to me comes out shortly afterwards.)

Friend: “Did you really just cause a guy to bluescreen because you didn’t want a bag?”

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Service Not Worth Talking About

| San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I just got back from the hospital where the doctors told me I likely had strep throat. Because of this, my throat hurts and I am having a difficult time talking. I decide to get myself a smoothie to soothe my throat. I walk into to juice shop and knock on the counter)

Worker: *looking down at the register* “What can I get for you today?”

(I rap the counter again and tried to draw the attention to the fact that I can’t speak. At this point, a man walks in and gets in line behind me.)

Worker: “What?!” *still looking down at the register*

(Feeling very silly now, I knock the counter a third time and am waving my hand in front of her, but still she won’t look up.)

Worker: “Would you hurry up and order?! I don’t have all day!”

Man Behind Me: “Excuse me, miss, but if you would bother to look, you would realize this man can’t speak.”

(The woman looked up quickly to see me pantomiming in front of her and turned beet red. In her flustered state, her phone flew out of her hand and we could see she had been playing Angry Birds the entire time.)

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How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 13

| Brooklyn Park, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees

(My family has been receiving frequent calls from a scammer telling us we have viruses on our computer. Today, the phone rings and my dad picks up.)

Dad: “Hello?”

Dad: “Okay, how about this: I’ll throw my computer out the window, into the firepit, and I’ll burn it. Will that work? That’ll work, right?”

Dad: “No, see I’m just gonna throw out my computer and burn it. That way the virus will be gone, right?”

Dad: “Well, I just burned my computer! It’s gone! So, the virus should be gone, too, and I have nothing to worry about, right?”

Dad: “Well, see, I don’t need a computer. I just like to use my cell phone, and a typewriter, and an abacus. Because computers are evil! Like you!”

(The scammer hung up on him.)

Related:
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 12
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 11
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 10

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Pumping Out Lies

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I’m visiting my family in a fairly rural area. I’ve rented a car for the trip, so I don’t know all the specifics of the car. I’m running low on gas as I’m driving around running errands, and see a gas station with low prices. I pull in to get gas, but they don’t have the option to pay at the pump, so I go inside.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to fill my tank on pump three. Can you process that in here with a credit card?”

Cashier: “We can take credit. How much do you want?”

Me: “I’m not sure how much it will cost to fill the tank. Can I just fill it and you charge my card when I’m done? I’m willing to leave my card with you at the register.”

Cashier: “No can do, honey. Give me a specific amount of gas you want.”

Me: “Okay… I think it will take about $30 to fill the tank. If I can’t fit all that in there, can you refund me for the difference?”

Cashier: “Sure, we can figure that out. $30 on pump three. You’re good to go.”

(I go out to pump my gas, and lo and behold, the car only holds $27 and change in gas. I go back inside.)

Me: “Hey, me again. My tank is full on three and it didn’t hold the full 30 dollars. Can you refund the last couple of dollars?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry, I can’t do that, honey. I see that you’re stuck on $27 and change. Maybe you can pump the rest into your spare can?”

Me: “I don’t have a spare can. Maybe I can just get a couple of sodas and we can work out the difference? It looks like two sodas would be just over $3 and I have a bit of change on me?”

Cashier: “Sorry, honey, I can’t move cash between the pumps and the store. You can either use the last couple dollars of gas or let it ride.”

Me: “Well, it would have been nice to know that upfront rather than being told you could settle the difference if I couldn’t fit all the gas, but, whatever. It’s less than $3; it won’t break me.”

(As this conversation was happening, a man walks out of the back room, listens discreetly, and then speaks up.)

Man: “[Cashier]! Get into the office!” *to me* “Sorry about that. Would you like cash back for the gas you couldn’t use, that amount refunded to your card, or to buy something else in the store?”

Me: “Um, well, I stand by my offer to grab a couple of sodas and settle the difference. It should be about $.50, and I have that in cash. Plus, we could really use the caffeine!”

Man: “Go take the sodas and don’t worry about the difference. This is the third time I’ve caught her refusing to settle with people who paid for more gas than they could use, and she always pulls her car around and pumps the excess into her own car. Our policy is to give the customer cash, credit, or purchases back if they overpay, as she stated when you came in here the first time. If it didn’t cost so d*** much, I’d install the readers at the pump. Sorry for your inconvenience. Have a nice night.”

(When I mentioned this to my family, they knowingly nodded and said “oh yeah, don’t go there unless you want to be ripped off… Glad the manager is finally stepping up!”)

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Totally Out Of Birth Control

| DE, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

(I am at the gynecologist office to renew my hormonal birth control prescription, and have booked the first available appointment with a random doctor. I have been on the same pill, with the same office, for six years, to treat a medical disorder, and am not sexually active. All of this is written in my file. A doctor walks in with my file in hand.)

Doctor: “Hello, I’m Dr. [Doctor]. What brings you in today?”

Me: “I’m just here for the standard renewal of my prescription. None of my information has changed. And can I please have a 90 day supply in each refill? It saves me trips to the pharmacy.”

Doctor: *looks confused for some reason, then in a condescending tone, like talking to a child* “Are you aware the pill is only necessary if you’re having sex with men?”

Me: “Wait. What are you talking about?”

Doctor: “You don’t need to prevent pregnancy.”

Me: “Correct…”

Doctor: “Well, the pill won’t protect you and your girlfriend from STDs.”

Me: *it finally clicks* “Did you just assume that I’m a lesbian?”

Doctor: “I… uhh… but you don’t have sex!”

Me: “Are you serious? Who I have sex with, if I have sex, is irrelevant, and frankly none of your business. If you had bothered to fully read my file you’d know that I take birth control for a disorder. What kind of idiot do you think I am in assuming I’ve been taking medicine daily for all these years and have no idea what it does? But then again, you somehow made it through medical school thinking that birth control is only for contraception.”

Doctor: “But—”

Me: “No. I’ll be in the waiting room. Have the receptionist let me know when my prescription is ready.”