Category: Employees


Doesn’t Have The Sheep’s Stomach For Your Assumptions

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Tourists & Travel

(I am a Canadian backpacker and go into a pub on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. I approach the bartender.)

Me: “Hi, ‘scuse me, I had a question about the menu—”

Bartender: *sigh* “Haggis is sheep’s liver, lungs and heart, cooked in its stomach, and no, I’m not joking.”

Me: “I know THAT. My parents are both members of the Royal Vancouver Island Scottish Country Dance Society and my friends all think they’re terminally weird after hearing about how we have to drink a toast to sheep guts every January 25th. Now could you please tell me how many sausages come with the bangers and mash?”


Bacon And On

| Blaine, MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(A new restaurant, of a franchise chain I only heard of recently, opens near where I am. As I haven’t had anything to eat all day, I decide to go.)

Me: “I’ll have [Chicken Sandwich] and fries.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be right out.”

(A few minutes later, I get my food. I open the sandwich to pull out the tomatoes, only to find that they gave me the wrong sandwich, the one that adds bacon. I bring the sandwich back.)

Me: “I ordered the one without bacon.”

(They took it back with an apology. They brought out another sandwich a few minutes later, and I opened it to find that they brought me the same incorrect sandwich. Rather than bug them again, I simply took the bacon off and ate it anyway.)


School/Work Balance

| San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Transportation

(During my senior year of high school, I go with my dad one day to San Diego to check Prestigious College I was accepted at, during my spring break. It is five am and the security line has just opened. There’s roughly ten TSA agents actually working and about ten more just standing around doing nothing. I’m putting my shoes back on when two agents behind me, who have been discussing a club they went to over the weekend, notice me.)

TSA Agent: *condescendingly* “Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

Me: “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

(Everyone that heard me laughed and the agent sulked away embarrassed.)


Needs To Donate An Explanation

| USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Time

Me: *via phone* “Hello, how late do you accept donations today?”

Employee: “We’re open until six pm today.”

(I clear out the car, load it up, and drive over, arriving about 15 minutes later.)

Me: “Hi, where should I unload this?”

Employee: “I’m sorry; we can’t accept any more donations today due to the volume we’ve received already.”

Me: “What? I spoke to you on the phone not fifteen minutes ago and you said you were accepting donations. You’re telling me I loaded all these clothes up and you won’t even take them for free?”

Employee: “There’s another donation center 10 minutes away…”

Me: “But they’re not open today. That’s why I came here. Look, I’m just going to unload these here, and you can throw them away if you want.”

(I unloaded the car with the employee staring at me like I had run over his dog the whole time. Their whole business model revolves around reselling stuff that people give them for free. How can they stop accepting donations, especially for something like kids’ clothes?)


Lost In Your Salad Days

| NJ, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive, Time

Coworker: “Would you like any lettuce on this?”

Customer: “You’ve already put lettuce on there.”

Coworker: “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t realize!”

Customer: “That’s okay, it’s Monday after all.”

Coworker: “It’s Wednesday… isn’t it?”

Customer: “So it is.”