Category: Employees

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Easily A-Mew-sed

| France | Employees, Pets & Animals

(My hot water tank is leaking and I call a plumber. He’s in his fifties and his assistant, who might be his son, is a big, burly man in his mid-twenties. The plumber starts examining my tank.)

Plumber: “For how long have you been using this water tank?”

Me: “I’ve been living here for only three years, so it’s been used for more than three years, I guess.”

Assistant: “Awww… what a cute little thing!”

(He kneels and starts cuddling my eight-month-old kitten, which was watching them intently. She purrs and obviously enjoys the contact. I can’t help smiling.)

Me: “Her name’s Toffee!” *I turn to the plumber* “I suppose it’s a wear and tear problem.”

Plumber: “Definitely.”

Assistant: “You’re cute! Oh, you’re so cuuuute!”

Plumber: “I’m afraid we’ll have to replace the whole tank.”

Me: “I see. How much is this going to cost?”

Assistant: “You’re cute!”

Plumber: “I’m going to make you a detailed estimate…”

Assistant: “Cuuute!”

Plumber: “He loves animals.”

Me: “I noticed.”

Plumber: “So, I’ll send you the estimate tomorrow.”

Me: “Thank you very much. Toffee, say goodbye!”

(I nearly said: “say goodbye to your boyfriend.” I would have never guessed that that huge guy would go silly about a kitten!)

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Using The FF Word

| VA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am shopping at a very popular lingerie store because there is a half-price promotion on my favorite underwear. I do not buy bras there, as they do not stock my size. I find what I want and go to the register to make my purchase.)

Me: “Just these, please.”

Cashier: “I see you’re buying underwear today. Would you like to find a matching bra?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? We can even do a fitting!”

Me: “No, I’m all set.”

Cashier: *suddenly aggressive* “It will only take a few minutes! You should get a bra.”

Me: “No, really, I’m not interested. I don’t need a new bra. Besides, this store doesn’t carry my size.”

Cashier: *rolls eyes dramatically* “Uh huh. Sure. We can find your size.”

Me: “What’s the largest size you have in stock?”

Cashier: *confidently* “40DDD.”

Me: “I wear an FF. So as I said, just the underwear, please.” *takes out credit card and holds it out expectantly*

Cashier: *after staring at my chest in silence for a few seconds* “Um, really? Where do you shop? Because let’s go measure you, I’m sure we fit your into OUR sizes. OUR sizes are different.”

Me: *nearly slams head on desk* “No! No, thank you. I was measured here last year, and was given a DDD. Your largest size. Five sizes too small. So I’m going to pass on buying something I know doesn’t fit.”

Cashier: *huffily* “Fine!”

(She snatches my card, processes the payment, and throws it back at me. Just as I’m leaving I hear her yell across the store to a new customer.)

Cashier: “You! You need a bra fitting!”

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That Moment We All Thread

| Germany | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I had a laparoscopy to remove fluid of a burst abscess from my stomach. I only have three small wounds, closed with one thread each. Unfortunately, the tube for the drainage was placed right next to a nerve, causing extreme pain, so they had the head physician remove the threads and the drainage.)

Doctor: “There, all done.”

Me: “Miss, you only removed the drainage and the thread that held it in place…”

Doctor: “Yes, as I’ve said, all done!” *smiles*

Me: “I’m pretty sure the wounds in my navel and on the left side of my stomach were stitched, too.”

Doctor: “No, no, don’t worry. There was only one thread.”

Me: “Miss. There is blue fuzz in the scabs of both wounds. I’m pretty sure that my blood isn’t able to form blue fuzz. Those are the knots of threads, as far as I can tell.”

Doctor: *checks my wounds* “No, all done. There are no threads.”

(About a week later, my wounds got infected, so I got my mother’s medical kit out (she’s a nurse) and carefully removed the scabs to disinfect the new scar tissue. Lo and behold, there were the blue threads. I removed them myself and the infection healed, but the two scars where the threads were left in still act up to this day and are, despite their small size, very eye catching and ugly. The doctor got laid off after nearly the whole hospital staff signed a petition against her.)