Category: Family & Kids


Left Out Of The Leftover Explanation

| MA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids

(I had just been hired to work at a historical site as an educator and I was just starting to meet my coworkers when the following moment happened.)

Boss: “Welcome to [Historic Site]! Let me introduce you to [Young, Male Coworker].”

Me: “Hi! Great to meet you!”

(Male coworker and I greet each other and continue with our opening procedures.)

Boss: *to Young, Male Coworker* “By the way, I brought you leftovers for lunch but if you don’t want them you can just GET YOUR OWN LUNCH!”

(I am very confused; her tone fell somewhere between playful and angry. I don’t say anything but my boss noticed my confused facial expression.)

Boss: “Oh! [Young, Male Coworker] is my son!”

Me: “Oh! Everything makes sense now!”

Boss: “Yes. I’m afraid I don’t bring leftovers for all of my coworkers.”

(My boss and her son are great!)


Defeated The Bonus Boss

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I’m in the midst of fighting the final boss in a video game notorious amongst its fandom for potentially being the most difficult in its franchise. It’s taken me 13 years to get to this point since I tried again and gave up several times over the years since its release. I have currently spent several hours on the fight. I am a flaming ball of anger and hate-fire by the time my phone starts to ring, distracting me and getting me killed once again. It turns out to be a scammer that has been harassing me for over a month that I normally ignore.)

Me: “Who is this?”

Scammer: “This is [Fictional Electric Company], looking for [Person Who Isn’t Me] about their electric bill…”

Me: *screaming into the phone* “Are you [expletive] serious?! [Person Who Isn’t Me] hasn’t owned this number for several years and yet you people keep harassing me! You woke me this morning, you woke my baby yesterday afternoon, and you’ve disturbed me when I was in the middle of something now! Never call me again or I’ll trace your number, find out where you live, and ship you a box of Brazilian wandering spiders!”

(I slam the phone down and go back to my game when I notice both my sisters staring at me in fear.)

Sister: “Would you seriously ship a box of spiders to a telemarketer?”

Me: “If he calls me again in the middle of this fight? I’ll send him bark scorpions, too!”

(Thankfully they never called me again. I quickly beat the game soon after that call too. It turns out that screaming at people who have been harassing me is oddly therapeutic.)


They Don’t Feel Like Chicken Tonight

| Vandalia, OH, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(For casual family gatherings, my mom likes to pick up fried chicken, and then make enough sides for everyone at home. We don’t think anything of it, until this happened.)

Mom: “Hi, I’d like two buckets of original style chicken.”

Cashier: Oh… um… okay…” *wanders off*

(Mom and I exchange confused looks, even more so when the cashier returns with the manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am, for large orders like this, we prefer you call ahead. We can make it, but it’ll be a wait.”

Mom: “I’m sorry. I didn’t think that was a large order. We’re happy to wait.”

(We pay for our order, and fifteen minutes pass, with Mom getting more annoyed as she thinks about what’s happened. Finally, they hand us our food.)

Manager: “Next time you have an order this large, you really need to call ahead.”

Mom: “If you don’t have two buckets of chicken available at six o’clock on a Saturday night, you’ve got bigger problems than me.”


Drowning In Coddling

| USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work with a medical needs camp. Because a lot of our kids have been coddled, and could be subject to hurtful words from their peers at school and such, our staff personality is fairly sarcastic and jokey/pranky to help kids learn to roll with punches. We are in the lake when a camper comes up to me and jumps into my arms like a fireman carry, which is easy as we are in water.)

Camper: *melodramatically* “Take me to safety.”

Me: “Hey, [Other Staff Member]!” *carrying camper towards them* “Let’s play No-More-Bubbles!”

(The other staff member looks up at the lifeguard expectantly, who shrugs in a joking “why-not?” way. The camper, kind of knowing we’re joking, but still playing along, starts screaming. In the middle of our antics, a Department of Health inspector comes along. We start to frantically explain that this is part of our rapport with our campers, and why, when the Department of Health inspector holds up their hand and cuts us off.)

Department Of Health Inspector: “Don’t worry. I think this is fantastic. More kids need to learn to have fun that way.”

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