Category: Family & Kids


An Alco-Hole In Your Reasoning

| NC, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(My mom and I are the weird customers in this story. My mom and her partner just bought a house together, and we go to a store that specializes in wines and beers to pick out some refreshments for the house-warming party. Of note: we’ve always had a weird vocabulary, my mom almost never drinks, and I’m 16 when this takes place.)

Mom: “Hmm…” *trying to figure out what beer to get*

Employee: “How can I help you ladies today?”

Mom: “Well, we’re having a little get-together, and I’m just now realizing I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Employee: *turning to me* “And, may I ask, how old are you?”

Mom: “My daughter’s sixteen, but she’s with me.”

Me: “I’m just here in a pack-mule capacity.”

Mom: “I’ve never been big on alcohol, and I suspect she takes after her mother in that regard, but I know most of the people who are coming to our house-warming party would want a beer or a glass of wine. Can you help us?”

(The employee helped pick out some general crowd-pleasers, but kept eyeing me like she expected me to pop the lid off a bottle and start chugging it down. My step-mom ended up declaring one of the picks to be her new favorite wine!)


Not At Service, Not At Your Service

| Winnipeg, MT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I take my small daughters to the little daycare in our church so that we can attend the Sunday service in peace. This daycare is run by church volunteers who are supposed to be there every Sunday, but they often decide to not show up, leaving parents like us stranded.)

Me: *looking around the daycare, seeing nobody* “Oh, man, no caregivers again.”

(Just then, another mother enters the daycare and hands her small child to me.)

Woman: “Here you go. I’ll be back after the service.” *turns to leave*

Me: “Um, wait a second. I’m not the volunteer. I’m a parent like you, and I was just about to leave, because the volunteer isn’t here.”

Woman: “Well, you can still look after my son, can’t you?”

Me: “No…?”

Woman: “Sure you can!” *leaves before I can stop her*

(I had no choice but to stay and look after her child as well as my own daughters for the entire service. Not only that, but she had left nothing for her son – no snack, no toys, nothing – so when he started to cry, I had no idea what to give him. That was a very long 1.5 hours!)


Coffee For The Monkeys

| Milwaukie, OR, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(My daughter has an unusual name, and even when we write the pronunciation beside the spelling on forms or other documents, people still always mispronounce it. She is eight years old. We are at a coffee shop and each person in our family is getting a drink.)

Husband: “Flat white.”

Barista: “Name?”

Husband: “[Husband].”

Me: “They would each like a caramel frappuccino with whipped cream.”

Barista: *to my older daughter* “Your name?”

Older Daughter: “[Older Daughter].”

Barista: *to my younger daughter* “Your name?”

(I can see my daughter hesitating to say her name because it is never a simple process, even if you say it, then spell it immediately, people always comment on it.)

Me: *to her* “You can give any name you want. It doesn’t have to be YOUR name.”

Younger Daughter: *to barista* “Monkey Face!”

Barista: *laughing* “Okay, Monkey Face!” *to the drink-maker* “Here is a cup for Monkey Face.” *they both laugh and my daughter is happy*

Me: “And I’d like [my order], please.”

Barista: “You must be Mom?”

Me: “Yes. You can just put ‘Mom’ on mine.”

(When we picked up our drinks, I saw she had actually written “SuperMom!” on my cup. I “awww”ed and thanked her. Very sweet.)

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