Category: Family & Kids

Trafficking In Assumptions

| USA | Bigotry, Employees, Family & Kids

(My brother’s wife needs to take their daughter to a doctor’s appointment, and I offer to take their son (five years old) out to a museum and ice cream during that time. We agree that she’ll come pick him up at the ice cream parlor when they’re done. My sister-in-law was born and raised in Russia, and has a noticeable accent. This happens at the ice cream parlor after she’s come to pick him up.)

Sister-In-Law: “Thanks so much for bringing him here.”

Me: “No problem.” *to nephew* “See you later. Bye.”

(They leave and then I’m gathering up my stuff to leave as well.)

Girl: *behind the counter* “I know that they need jobs, but I don’t think I’d leave my kids with them, you know?”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “Your nanny. Doesn’t it worry? I mean, human traffic is an issue over there.”

Me: “That was my brother’s wife. And the little boy was her child. He’s my nephew.”

(I wasn’t really sure what else to say, so I just left.)

Courting Death

| UK | Family & Kids, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My dad received a speeding ticket half a year ago which I have tried to contest, but for whatever reason was ignored. He is eventually called to court over the matter and I go to represent him. I’ve made it to the courtroom itself without anyone even questioning where my father is, which I think is strange, but alas.)

Magistrate: “Could I ask why [Father] could not attend, and why he has not informed the court prior to this.”

Me: “You have been informed, but just as before no one seems to care.”

Magistrate: “And where is your father, sir?”

Me: “He’s been in a box six feet under for the past ten years.”

Magistrate: *raising his eyebrows* “He’s dead?”

Me: “Well, it would be murder if he wasn’t.”

Magistrate: “And the vehicle he was… ‘seen’ driving?”

Me: “Sold shortly after his funeral. We haven’t heard anything about it until this speeding ticket.”

Magistrate: “And you made no attempt to inform us of his passing?”

Me: “Several actually.”

(I produce copies of the correspondence I have had, along with vehicle documentation proving the car was sold ten years prior. The magistrates look over it, with the woman in the group looking besides herself with how ridiculous it all seems. The prosecution looks rather sheepish as the magistrate who is leading the proceeding lambastes them and the police for wasting time and resources. We don’t even get to my pleading Not Guilty (I still don’t know if you actually say that), before the ticket is thrown out.)

Magistrate: “I do apologise if this entire ordeal has been difficult for your family. And I am sorry for your loss.”

Me: “It’s no problem. I’m sure my dad would found it hilarious if he were still around.”

(We both laughed and I was allowed to leave. That is my one and only time in court. It was a lot more casual than I expected…)

Redirecting Telemarketers To God

| TX, USA | Employees, Family & Kids

(My grandma gets calls and letters from telemarketers. She is getting very tired of this.)

Grandma: “Hello? Who is this?”

Caller: “This is [Company]. May I speak with [Grandpa]?”

Grandma: “This is his wife; what do you want?”

Caller: “I need to speak with [Grandpa].”

Grandma: “Well call 1-800-Heaven. He died last year!”

Animal Retraction

| OR, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I work as a cashier in a grocery store. I’m always in check stand #1 so I have a particularly good view of the entrances. It is common for people to bring animals into the store (usually dogs, but occasionally cats or even a rat!) even though the store includes food preparation areas, and therefore non-service animals are not allowed by law. When I see someone with an animal that doesn’t look like a service animal, I page my manager to let her handle the situation. I’m known among my coworkers for my accuracy and observation skills. Until this happens…)

Me: “I just saw a woman come in and it looks like she had some sort of animal in her jacket.”

Manager: “Uh oh.”

Me: “It was all wrapped up and had some sort of yellow hat covering its head. I couldn’t tell what it was. Maybe a cat?”

Manager: “Okay, I’ll go check it out. Thanks.”

(Several minutes pass and then my manager comes back smiling.)

Manager: “Was the woman with the animal that you saw with another woman?”

Me:”Yes.”

Manager: “That was a baby in her jacket.”

Me: *blinks* “Well, in my defense it looked brown and furry.”

Manager: *laughs* “Okay, well, I won’t tell her what you said about her baby.”

A Feeding Frenzy

| Bangor, ME, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(This is about a month after I gave birth to my daughter 14 weeks early. My daughter was taken to another hospital for the NICU. I go up every weekend, sometimes during the week, and during this time I am healing from an infection in my C-section incision. This happens one day when I go up to visit her. I have taken her out of her incubator and am holding her. The nurse starts her feeding tube.)

Me: *holding my daughter for only 45 minutes and talking to my dad* “Her feed is nearly done.”

Dad: “Is that how long it takes, 45 minutes?”

Me: “Used to take only ten!”

Nurse #1: “Dear, her feed is up. You need to put her back.”

Me: “But… But I’ve held her for longer! She needs me!”

Nurse #1: “No, you need to put her back.”

Dad: “Can’t you let her hold her own child for a while!? We live two hours away from here! She can’t be up here constantly like some of the parents are!”

Nurse #1: “I don’t care; I’m the nurse on duty.”

(The nurse then removes my daughter from my arms, and lays her FLAT in her incubator. My dad quickly leaves to go get my mom.)

Me: *buttons up shirt and starts crying*

Nurse #1: “Oh, stop, it’s been a month.” *leaves*

Me: *crying and goes over to my daughters incubator to watch her*

Daughter: *suddenly vomits*

Me: “[Daughter]! Someone help! She’s vomiting!”

Nurse #2: “Move out of the way, dear!” *quickly gets in and starts cleaning up my daughter and making sure she isn’t choking*

(By now I am inconsolable and my mother has arrived. I’m in shock from seeing my tiny baby vomit so much.)

Mom: “Who laid her down flat?!”

Nurse #2: “I’m not sure…”

Nurse #1: “I did.”

Mom: “YOU NEVER LAY A BABY DOWN FLAT AFTER THEY EAT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I SHOULD REPORT YOUR A** AND GET YOU FIRED! GET AWAY FROM MY GRANDBABY!”

Nurse #1: *speechless*

(I have to be pulled out so I won’t upset the other babies. After the nurses let me back in to hold my daughter’s hand before I leave, and to give her a kiss. I get home that night and they call.)

Supervisor: “Hi, may I speak with [My Name]?”

Me: “Speaking.”

Supervisor: “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but it seems [Nurse #1] has given [Daughter] another mother’s breast milk.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Supervisor: “I’m terribly sorry, but we are going to need you to get blood work done next time you come up, and we will run tests on both the mother and your daughter. I also heard about what happened earlier. That nurse will NOT work on your daughter again while I am at this hospital.”

(Next time I went back, the head nurse gave me two gift cards and a card from the entire NICU, and expressed how sorry they were about the incidents. Thankfully neither the mother or I had anything and my daughter was all right, but I had never been more angry and sad in my life that someone could pay so little attention to a preemie!)

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