Category: Family & Kids


Taken… On A Plane

| USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Ignoring & Inattentive, Language & Words, Tourists & Travel

(My sisters and I used to fly as unaccompanied minors back and forth between our parents each year, on a long trip that usually took three layovers. One year, going from our dad to our mom, we get bumped from our last flight, which is NEVER supposed to happen to UMs. Our grandparents happen to live in the area and drive over to stay with us for the few hours until the next flight out departs, and the airline employees ply us with smoothies and snacks. One employee is charged with calling our mother and telling her what had happened, which he chose to do as follows:)

Mom: *answers phone* “Hello?”

Employee: “Ms. [Surname]?”

Mom: “Yes?”

Employee: *serious voice* “We have your children.”

(The airline also forgot to send someone to come and get us when the next flight was boarding, like they had promised to, and we only caught it because my grandfather went to go ask them about it when he got worried about the time. We literally had to sprint to catch it. Between that, the creepy-kidnapper-themed phone call, and getting her daughters back several hours late, and sugar-high from the snacks they gave us, my mom was furious. My sisters and I, however, remember that as the trip where we got free candy, a visit with our grandparents, and the apology vouchers that we used for a trip to Disneyland.)


Literally Sleep Talking Through The Transaction

| USA | Employees, Family & Kids

(I’m young and live with my parents. I’m at home when the phone rings, and I see that the call is coming from a popular company that helps seniors who are at risk of falling down. I know my father has been looking for similar services for my grandmother, so I answer.)

Caller: “Hello, this [Company]. Am I speaking to [Mother]?”

Me: “No, I’m her daughter.”

Caller: “Is your mother available?”

Me: “I can go check; hold on a moment.”

(I know my mother is asleep at this time, but there’s a slight chance that she might wake up and speak with this woman. I shake her gently and she shoos me away.)

Me: “Mom, somebody from [Company] wants to talk to you.”

Mother: “Tell her… tell her dad bought the thing.”

(I can tell that my mother is talking in her sleep and isn’t going to wake up for this.)

Me: “I’m sorry; she’s not exactly available…”

Caller: *in a suddenly rude tone* “Well, obviously she is! I heard every word she said and you could have just told me that yourself.” *hangs up*

(I talked to my dad later that night and we apparently have no involvement with that company. He’d actually signed up with their competitor the day before. I hope they found my mom’s sleep talking very useful.)


Flower Power

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Family & Kids

(I am at home in bed, having had a rough week that included my grandmother passing away, as well as her wake and funeral. To make things easier on me, my boyfriend wakes up early to do our grocery shopping. He grabs a bouquet of my favorite flowers to cheer me up.)

Teenage Cashier: *laughing* “Uh oh! Looks like someone’s in trouble! What’d you do?”

Boyfriend: “No, it’s nothing like that.”

Teenage Cashier: “Aw, come on, man! It can’t be that bad!”

Boyfriend: “Actually, my girlfriend’s grandmother passed away. She had a hard weekend so I wanted to cheer her up.”

Teenage Cashier: *speechless* “I… Uh. I am so… Oh, my god.”

(The cashier turns around and calls a manager over.)

Teenage Cashier: *whispering to manager* “I need you to take these flowers off. We need to comp them.”

Manager: “But—”

Boyfriend: “It’s really okay…”

Teenage Cashier: “We just need to.”

(The manager takes the flowers off my boyfriend’s bill and leaves. The young cashier finishes the rest of the transaction solemnly.)

Teenage Cashier: “Really, I am SO sorry.”

Boyfriend: “Thank you, but no apology necessary. It’s really fine.”

(He told me all about it when he got home, and I got a good laugh about it. I think the worst part is, now the cashier will be too scared to ever tell that joke again!)


Gets Everything She Ever Wanted, Including ‘It’

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(The owners of this pizza franchise have their daughter working as one of their managers. She is usually nice enough, but has the biggest issue with whining about how terrible her life is. One day, a coworker and I have had enough of her complaining.)

Boss’s Daughter: “Ugh! My dad is so terrible! I want to go to [Event], but no! They have me working that weekend! I can’t believe this!”

Me: “Yeah, your parents are the WORST. I mean, they only paid your entire way through college and you didn’t have to spend a cent.”

Coworker: “And they bought you the car you’re driving, and are paying for your insurance, too.”

Me: “AND they’re paying your rent for you.”

Coworker: “AND they’re paying you hourly wages to work here even though they themselves don’t get anything if the restaurant doesn’t make a profit.”

Boss’s Daughter: “Well, yeah, but my dad—”

Coworker: “My dad is in prison. I’ve never met him, and I don’t want to. I would love to have a father who is present in my life!”

Me: “My dad’s a dead-beat who never paid child support when my parents got divorced. He was more concerned with himself than his wife and kids. Your parents clearly are doing everything they can to make sure you live a comfortable life. I don’t think working on a weekend when they’re paying you wages on top of everything else is too much to ask!”

Boss’s Daughter: “Ugh. Just never mind! You don’t get it!”

Coworker: *after she’d gone* “I sure don’t.”


Infantile Inflation

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am teasing a customer’s daughter, who is absolutely not falling for my lies.)

Girl: “How much is the candy?”

Me: “A million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “Nuh-uh!”

Me: “Yup… million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “No, it isn’t!”

(A few minutes later, she notices one of the items on the shelves behind me.)

Girl: “What are those?”

Me: “They’re jars to put candy in. They cost five dollars, plus the price of candy.”

(She nods.)

Me: “And the candy is a million-billion dollars.”

Girl: “It is NOT!”

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