Category: Food & Drink


Never Too Old For A Pissing Contest

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(A man who appears to be in his 90s is ahead of me in line at the supermarket. Among his purchases is a bottle of bourbon. The cashier, going on automatic pilot, asks…)

Cashier: “May I see your ID, sir?”

Man: “Son, I’ll be mixing that bourbon with this Ensure, and then pissing it out into these Depends. I assure you I’m old enough to buy it.”


Mayo-No-No, Part 2

| NJ, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am hungry, so I decide to stop at a rest stop on the turnpike for food. I order from a place that is known for its burgers.)

Me: “I’ll have a burger with cheese and only lettuce.” *meaning, none of the other stuff that comes on it*

(Several minutes pass, and I get my food. I unwrap the burger, only to discover…)

Me: “Excuse me, I asked for cheese and lettuce, and I got mayo and lettuce.”

Cashier #1: “Oh, sorry. Give it to me; I’ll throw it out.”

(Several minutes later, I’m given another burger. I go to my seat to unwrap it, only to find…)

Me: “I think the person who is making burgers is in love with mayo… This time I got cheese, mayo, and lettuce.”

Cashier #2: “Give me that.”

Cashier #1: “She wanted NO mayo!”

(Several minutes later:)

Cashier #2: “Unwrap this here so you don’t have to go back to your seat.”

(I unwrap it, to find that put mayo on the burger, then tried to wipe it off and failed.)

Cashier #2: “I’m just going to make it myself this time.”

Cashier #1: “He does this ALL the time…”

(The fourth time, the burger actually had cheese and lettuce and no mayo! Those poor cashiers deserve a raise.)



You Must Not Be Special Enough

, | USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My husband and I stop at a fast food restaurant for dinner one night. The restaurant is running a special promotion entree and the cashier is asking each customer if they’d like to try the special. We are in line behind another customer.)

Cashier: “Good evening; welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to try our [Special Promotion]?”

Customer: “Yes, that actually sounds pretty good!”

Cashier: *without missing a beat* “Unfortunately, we’re all out of [Special Promotion]. Is there something else you’d like to order?”

Customer: “…”

(To this day I’m not sure if she was told she had to offer the special no matter what or if it was just autopilot!)


A Sting To The Flavor

| WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’m in the drive-thru with my partner.)

Partner: “What’s on your bacon cheeseburger?”

Worker: “Bacon, mustard,” *then, a word I swear sounds like ‘beehives’* “ketchup, cheese, and pickles.”

Partner: *to me* “Beehives…? What is that supposed to mean?”

Me: “I have no idea.”

Partner: “O… kay. Can I have that without mustard, or… beehives?”

Worker: “Sure!” *he gets distracted for a moment* “Wait, what was that, no mustard?”

(Neither of us can bring ourselves to say “beehives” again.)

Me: “Yeah, no mustard.”

(We got the receipt, and it only said “no mustard” which meant there should have been “beehives” on the burger. When we got the burger, I opened it up to find bacon, cheese, pickles, and ketchup. I still don’t know what “beehives” meant.)


Getting Into A Pickle Pickle

, | Wheeling, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

Me: “Can I get two [Burgers] with cheese, one with no pickles.”

Cashier: “So, that’s two [Burgers] with cheese and one [Burger] with no pickles.”

Me: “No, two [Burgers] total, both with cheese, one of them with no pickles.”

Cashier: “That’s the same thing, just said a different way.”

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