Category: Food & Drink


Directionless Direction

| OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I live on corner on a main road. The cross street is clearly numbered (like 143rd street). The cross street doesn’t continue so it is T with 2 corners. I live on one corner and the other corner is a 40-acre field, and the opposite of both corners is just woods. After ordering food, my instructions to the driver included the cross street and house number and I say “it’s the only house at the intersection.”)

Driver: “Hey, I’ve been driving around and I can’t find your house.”

Me: “Where are you?”

Driver: “At the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “What do the directions say?”

Driver: “That it’s the only house at the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “Do you see a house?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Is it the only house at the intersection?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Any reason you can’t deliver it to me there?”

Driver: “Well, I guess not.”

(It would have been bad enough if it happened once, but it happened a lot. I eventually refined the instructions to indicate which street the house faced, but even that didn’t help.)


Muffin Flop

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(We head into a little cafe for breakfast. In the bakery display case next to the cash register is a basket full of muffins.)

Me: “I’ll take a coffee, and a blueberry muffin.”

Waiter: “We don’t have blueberry muffins.”

Me: “Oh, well, chocolate chip, or whatever those muffins are.”

Waiter: “What muffins?”

Me: “The ones in the case here.”

Waiter: “Those are just display.”

Me: “Oh. Wow! They look real!”

Waiter: “Well, they are. We got them in this morning from the bakery.”

Me: “Wait, you got fresh muffins on display but not for sale.”

Waiter: “Yeah, we take them home at the end of the day.”

(At this point, I think I’m being trolled, so when I see a supervisor come in, I pull her aside.)

Me: “Excuse me; I tried to buy a muffin earlier…”

Supervisor: “We don’t sell muffins.”

Me: “That’s what the employee said, but I was confused because your bakery case has muffins in it.”

Supervisor: “Those are display muffins. We get them in every day.”

Me: “But you don’t sell them?”

Supervisor: “No. Don’t go leaving another Yelp review complaining. I’m sick of everyone angry about us not having muffins.”

Me: “Maybe don’t display them, then?”


Has A Crush On Candy

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(After working in candy stores for nearly ten years, I’ve got a few stock responses to some of the more frequent questions and comments I get about working versus eating.)

Customer #1:  “Do you ever eat anything when nobody’s looking?”

Me: *extremely shifty* “Nooo… Of cooourse nooot…”

Customer #2:  “Wow, I don’t know if I’d have the willpower to work here without eating everything!”

Me: “My willpower is frequently replaced by chocolate.”

Customer #3:  “How are you not constantly eating candy?”

Me: “I AM constantly eating candy!”

Customer #4:  “Do you get free candy working here?”

Me: “No, but that doesn’t stop me.”


Something Fishy With That Pronunciation

| Singapore | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Friend: “A salmon set meal, please.” *pronouncing it SA-MON*

Server: “What?”

Friend: *thinking that she hadn’t heard* “One salmon set, please.” *again pronouncing it correctly as SA-MON*

Server: “What’s that? We don’t have that.”

Friend: *pointing to it on the menu* “This one.”

Server: “This? The SAL-MON set meal? Why didn’t you just say so?”

Friend: *speechless*

Server: “Next time, talk properly!”


Driving Through Those Orders

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(At my coffee shop I’ve just been switched from front cash to drive-thru. I’m not really paying much attention. This is all my bad.)

Me: *sees donut and coffee on the counter and passes it out the window* “Here you go, sir. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “But—”

Me: *shuts the window*

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *begins taking next order over headset*

(The customer drove away, and I looked and saw his order was still on my till. Guess who got their donut and coffee for free?)

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