Category: Food & Drink


Has A Crush On Candy

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(After working in candy stores for nearly ten years, I’ve got a few stock responses to some of the more frequent questions and comments I get about working versus eating.)

Customer #1:  “Do you ever eat anything when nobody’s looking?”

Me: *extremely shifty* “Nooo… Of cooourse nooot…”

Customer #2:  “Wow, I don’t know if I’d have the willpower to work here without eating everything!”

Me: “My willpower is frequently replaced by chocolate.”

Customer #3:  “How are you not constantly eating candy?”

Me: “I AM constantly eating candy!”

Customer #4:  “Do you get free candy working here?”

Me: “No, but that doesn’t stop me.”


Something Fishy With That Pronunciation

| Singapore | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Friend: “A salmon set meal, please.” *pronouncing it SA-MON*

Server: “What?”

Friend: *thinking that she hadn’t heard* “One salmon set, please.” *again pronouncing it correctly as SA-MON*

Server: “What’s that? We don’t have that.”

Friend: *pointing to it on the menu* “This one.”

Server: “This? The SAL-MON set meal? Why didn’t you just say so?”

Friend: *speechless*

Server: “Next time, talk properly!”


Driving Through Those Orders

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(At my coffee shop I’ve just been switched from front cash to drive-thru. I’m not really paying much attention. This is all my bad.)

Me: *sees donut and coffee on the counter and passes it out the window* “Here you go, sir. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “But—”

Me: *shuts the window*

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *begins taking next order over headset*

(The customer drove away, and I looked and saw his order was still on my till. Guess who got their donut and coffee for free?)


In Soviet Russia, Mustard Spreads You

, | Cape Cod, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My mother, sister, and I going through the drive-thru at one of our local donut/coffee shops. At this particular location, they’ve just hired new employees who happen to be Russian. I’m the driver in this situation and my mother is in the passenger’s seat.)

Employee: *in thick accent* “Hi, welcome to [Donut Shop]. How can I help you?”

Mom: “Hi, can I get three [drinks] and a [sandwich] with no mustard.”

Employee: “We don’t have lobster.”

Mom: “No, I said no mustard.”

Employee: “This is [Donut Shop]. We don’t have lobster.”

My Family: *awkward silence*


Employee: “Okay… please pull up.”

(When we got to the order window, we had to repeat our order two more times! But we laughed about it for a long time after!)


With Great Bacon, Comes Great Stupidity, Part 2

| Germany | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I have a free period and decide to sneak in a early lunch at a well-known fast food place. I don’t usually do this because I’m vegetarian and their veggie food just tastes somewhat stale. However, I order a Veggie Burger and start eating only to notice something unusual. I take the burger apart only to notice lots of bacon on it. I head back to the till.)

Me: “Sorry to bother you. Is it possible that there’s BACON on my VEGGIE burger?”

Employee: “Wha… Oh… Yes. So sorry! I’ll get the manager.”

(She heads to the back. The place is rather empty so while waiting for the manager I can eavesdrop on the conversation between the employee and (what seems to be) the “cook.”)

Employee: “Did you put bacon on a veggie burger?!”

Cook: “Yes… Why?”

Employee: “There’s supposed to be no meat on a VEGGIE burger.”

Cook: “Well, there was no meat on it. Only bacon.”

Employee: “Bacon IS meat!”

Cook: “But… but… it just tastes better with bacon!”

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Stupidity