Category: Food & Drink

Equipment 1, Employee 0

, | Palmerston North, NZ | Employees, Food & Drink, Top

(We have just finished eating at a fast food restaurant. Suddenly, we hear an employee yell from the back.)

Employee: “I hate you, you stupid shake machine!”

Very Little IQ

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Employee: “Welcome to [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “I’d like a large Cherry Coke with very little ice, please.”

Employee: “Okay, that will be $1.87, please.”

Me: “Here you go.”

Employee: “$0.13 is your change.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(Before filling my drink, the employee opens the ice reservoir, looks in and gets a puzzled look on his face.)

Employee: “I don’t think I can make the ice any smaller.”

Me: “I meant a very small amount of ice.”

Employee: “Oh, thank goodness. I didn’t know what to do!”

Not A-Moo-sing In The Least

, | Kitchener, Ontario, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A coworker-in-training is asking me some questions about the different ingredients in each sub.)

Coworker: “So, what animal does turkey come from?”

Me: “Turkey.”

Coworker: “Yeah, the turkey breast…what animal is that from?”

Me: *gives up* “Cow.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “No.”

(Believe it or not, she became the general manager of our store!)

Have It Our Way

, | Australia | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

Employee: “What drink would you like?”

Me: “I’d like a lemonade, please.”

Employee: “Okay, I’ll go get it for you.”

Me: “Okay.”

(The employee disappears around the corner to get my drink. Meanwhile, a slightly overweight man with a tag reading “Manager” comes along.)

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Me: “I’m being served already. You don’t need to serve me.”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “Sorry? No? Oh, well…um…I guess you can watch?”

(At this point, an employee comes back with a can of Coke.)

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. I said lemonade.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said Coke! I’ll go and get you another drink.”

(The employee disappears around the corner again. Meanwhile, she has left the Coke on the counter.)

Manager: “This is why I’m fat!” *grabs the Coke and drinks it in one big gulp* “So, what drink would you like?”

Me: “Um, I’m already being served.”

Manager: “What drink would you like?”

Me: “I’m already being served.”

Manager: “I said, what drink would you like?!”

Me: “I said, I’m already being served!”

Manager: *angrily* “WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?!”

Me: “I am being served.”

Manager: “OH! YOU’RE BEING SERVED!”

(When the employee came back with my lemonade, the cup was disturbingly warm to the touch. Giving up, I left the restaurant, only to open up the cup later and find out it wasn’t even lemonade—it was some sort of slimy gunk.)

Half A Brain

| Sumter, SC, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Employee: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Carry out or delivery?”

Me: “Delivery.”

Employee: “Okay, go ahead with your order.”

Me: “I would like a large pineapple pizza, half without cheese.”

Employee: “Which half would you like the cheese on?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Which half of the pizza would you like the cheese on?”

Me: *after pausing for a moment* “The…left half.”

Employee: “Okay, your total will be $12.72 and your pizza should be there in 35 minutes!”