Category: Food & Drink

Have It Our Way

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m allergic to tomatoes and peppers, and most relish/pickles have peppers in them.)

Me: “I’d like a burger but with no tomato or relish or pickles. Just lettuce, onions and mustard, please.”

Waitress: *confused* “Okay?”

Me: “I’m allergic to tomatoes and relish and pickles. All the other toppings are good.”

Waitress: “All right.”

(The burger arrives, and it has nothing on it; it’s just a patty on a bun.)

Me: “Hey, um, this burger is completely plain. Could I get it with mustard and onions on it?”

Waitress: “Uh, no.”

Me: “Why not?”

Waitress: “Well, my cousin is allergic to mustard, and onions are disgusting!”

Not Very Amoo-sing

| Columbus, OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Employee #1 in this story has just recently been hired.)

Guest: “I’d like a latte with soy.”

Employee #1: “Soy?! What’s wrong with regular milk?”

(The guest is taken aback, so another employee steps in to help the new employee.)

Employee #2: “Soy milk is made from beans, whereas regular milk comes from cows—”

Employee #1: “Beans?! I ain’t messing with no beans!” *to guest* “Why do you want that?”

Guest: “I’m lactose intolerant.”

Employee #1: *completely serious* “Oh girl, are you lactating?!”

Peppered With Confusion

| Alberta, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Employee: “What would you like on your sub?”

Me: “I’ll get lettuce, cucumber, green peppers, light mayo, and some black pepper.”

Employee: “Black pepper?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “You mean green peppers?”

Me: “Well, I do want green peppers, but I also want black pepper.”

(The employee looks very confused. She looks down at all the vegetables and looks at the only black vegetable she sees. She points at the olives.)

Employee: “Olives?”

Me: “No, black pepper…you know, like salt and pepper, just without the salt?”

Employee: “OOOH!” *picks up the SALT and puts it on the sub*

Me: “Forget it. Good enough…”

The Moldiest Trick In The Book

| Ontario, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(The sandwich shop I am working at is overly obsessed with saving money by not wasting food. One day, I am slicing tomatoes when my manager walks in and looks into the garbage can.)

Manager: “[my name], why did you throw these tomatoes in the garbage?”

Me: “Well, they were moldy.”

Manager: “You can still use them. Just cut off the moldy parts!”

(I watch in horror as my manager then reaches into the garbage can and takes out the moldy tomatoes, cuts off the moldy parts, slices them, and puts them in with the other good tomatoes.)

Bun King Doesn’t Have The Same Ring

, | St. George, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My family and I go to a fast food restaurant chain. It aptly has “Burger” in its name, as it sells mostly hamburgers and cheeseburgers.)

My Mother: “I will also need one burger.”

Cashier: “One what?”

My Mother: “One regular burger.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell burgers here.”

My Mother: *confused* “You don’t sell burgers here?”

Cashier: “No, we only sell cheeseburgers and hamburgers. No burgers!”

My Mother: *speechless*