Category: Food & Drink

The Six Dollar Man

| USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Physical

(I am a customer at a fast food restaurant. It’s a small location and a bit crowded.)

Worker #1: “273!”

(I try to push through the crowd to gather my order. I’m almost there when another worker pushes another tray onto the counter, pushing some of the unclaimed orders around and knocking mine off the counter. He looks at the ruined food, then up at me with a reassuring stare.)

Worker #2:  “We can rebuild it. We have the technology.”

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Deep Ditz Pizza

| Pennsylvania, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am trying to order a pizza for a party I am having. A college-aged employee is taking my order.)

Me: “One meat lovers and one extra cheese. Make them both larges, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so one large cheese. Is that everything?”

Me: “No, I need a meat lovers and an extra cheese.”

Employee: “Oh, why didn’t you say that? $28.50.”

Me: “Don’t you need my name?”

Employee: “Oh, yes. I almost forgot!”

Me: “Smith. You know how to spell that, right?”

Employee: “Oh, yes. Now I need your name.”

Me: “I just told you.”

Employee: “Oh.”

Me: “How long will it be?”

Employee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Can you find out?”

Employee: “Yes.” *yells to her coworkers* “How long for two pies?!” *pauses for an answer, which I can’t hear* “Okay!” *to me* “I found out!” *hangs up*

Someone’s Having A Beef

, | Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I’m at a theme park and go to the only restaurant that has something remotely vegan on it’s menu.)

Me: “I’d like a veggie sub on Italian bread.”

Worker: “Would you like that toasted?”

Me: “No thanks. No cheese either, please.”

(Suddenly, the worker gets angry and shoves just the bread in my face.)

Worker: “Here, just take the godd*** bread if you want nothing in it!”

Me: *speechless*

In One Ear And Rot The Other

| Lewiston, ME, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m looking over the strawberries in a grocery store when I notice that one package contains a strawberry that is covered with furry greenish-gray mold. I notify a nearby employee.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Yes?”

Me: “I was just over looking at the strawberries and I noticed one in this package that is covered in mold.”  

(I try to hand the package to him, but he doesn’t take it.)

Employee: “I’m not authorized to give any discounts. You’ll have to talk to someone at the customer service desk.”

Me: “Oh no… I don’t what to buy them… for any price. I wouldn’t even take them if they were free.”

Employee: “I doubt they’ll give them to you for free.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “I’m sure they’ll give you a discount, but they won’t just let you take them.”

Me: “We’re misunderstanding each other. I don’t want to buy these.”

Employee: “Okay.”

Me: “I thought I should bring this moldy strawberry to an employee’s attention, so that you can throw them away or do whatever it is you do with rotten fruit. Somebody could get sick.”

Employee: “Okay.”

Me: “So… here.”  

(I try to hand the package to him again, but he continues to ignore me. I set the package on the edge of his cart and walk away. What does he do? He takes the moldy strawberries and puts them back with the other ones!)

Some Questions Eat At You

| Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

(On my days off, I intern at a morgue. Because of this, my coworkers frequently ask me very odd questions.)

Coworker: “Hey, come here. You work in a morgue. You might be able to answer this.”

Me: “Oh, here we go. Do I want to know?”

Coworker: “What would be the best way to fillet a person?”

Me: “You mean to cook and eat?!”

Coworker: “Yeah!”

Me: “Have we forgotten that though I work in a morgue, I’m also vegetarian?”

Coworker: “Oh yeah. Never mind. Carry on…”