Category: Food & Drink

Cake Is Promotion

| St Paul, MN, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(While I love my job, it is very stressful and I couldn’t imagine being a manager or the theatre rep. My manager often threatens to promote me in a joking manner, which always gets a few laughs.)

Manager: “I don’t know what I want. Either coffee or food.”

Coworker: “Go for the caffeine, man.”

Manager: “Yeah, but I’m really hungry and only have time to grab one. So it’s either coffee or food. Maybe cake.”

Me: “Why not a—” *pauses for effect* “—coffee cake?”

Manager: *through laughter* “That’s IT! Promote her!”

The Job Is Way Too Antsy For Me

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(I’m being trained as a barista at a little family cafe.)

Manager: “So you make the coffee like this, and if they ask for flavouring, what do you do?”

Me: “Well, there’re flavouring things here. Do I use them?”

Manager: “Yep! You use the flavouring pumps. But you should always squirt the flavouring into the cup first, because…”

(She throws a look around and turns back to me conspiratorially.)

Manager: “Sometimes there’re ants in the flavouring. We keep it right next to the window!”

(That job didn’t work out; she sent me home and never invited me back. I can’t help but wonder if the problem was the face that I made.)

You Won’t Beer-lieve This

| Canada | Food & Drink

(During high school I have a part-time job at a restaurant in front-of-house so, I’m around 17 to 18, not old enough to drink yet. The head chef is very serious during service but laid-back and funny other times. I’m blonde.)

Chef: “[My Name], can you do me a favour?”

Me: “Yes, [Chef], I have time.”

Chef: “Can you get me three beers in a bucket with ice?”

Me: *confused* “Yes, [Chef].”

(I then proceed to grab a bucket, wash it thoroughly, go to bar, grab three beers, open the beers and dump their contents in, then go to freezer and put some ice in it and give it to Chef.)

Chef: *looks at this full bucket* “What the f*** is this?!”

Me: “Three beers… in a bucket… with ice?”

Chef: *notices I’m serious and starts laughing*

Me: *horrified, recognises my mistake*

(I was so embarrassed that I had wasted all that beer, I went to the owner so I could pay for them. She refused to have me pay, and luckily beer battered fish was on the menu, so it just got put into the batter. The chef teased me all night, and for the rest of my time working there. I would constantly have to retell the story to people who heard of the incident, as well as to customers who knew the owner! Everyone was super specific to me after that, and I always got clarification.)

Delivery Is Not Your Calling

| MI, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(I order pizza online for lunch and I get a phone call about half an hour later.)

Pizza Guy: “Hi, are you close to the door?”

Me: “Yes?”

Pizza Guy: “Good, I’m pulling up in a red truck right now.” *click*

(I find this a little odd because usually they come to my door and knock, but I don’t think much of it. I go to the door and open it, but no cars let alone a red truck drive by. I wait about a minute or two then close the door. Confused, I return to the kitchen to finish what I’m doing. My cell rings about five minutes later.)

Pizza Guy: “Are you between the library and the museum?”

Me: *instantly I know he’s at the nearby university and nowhere near my house* “No, I’m off of [Street].”

Pizza Guy: “You’re not at [address on campus]?”

Me: “No, my address is [address way off campus].”

Pizza Guy: “Did you call the wrong number?”

Me: “You called me, dude.”

Pizza Guy: *mumbles something and hangs up*

Getting Some Coffee Apathy

| North Providence, RI, USA | Food & Drink

(I am at a popular doughnut/coffee shop in New England. I just want a cup of coffee.)

Me: “I’d like a large cup of black coffee, please.”

Counter Help: “Cream and sugar?”

Me: “No, thanks, just a large black coffee.”

Counter Help: “Iced?”

Me: “No, just a plain hot black cup of coffee.”

Counter Help: “Room for cream and sugar?”

Me: “No, just a large black hot coffee.”

Counter Help: “Cream and sugar on the side?”

Me: *feeling a little frustrated now* “I just want a hot cup of black coffee.”

Counter Help: “Okay.” *sets two large cups of hot coffee on the counter*

Me: “I just wanted one.”