Category: Food & Drink


Pizza Of Future’s Past

| Washington, DC, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(I order a pizza on the night daylight saving time ends, at 1:45 am DST. They tell me it will be there in about half an hour, and sure enough, half an hour later, it arrives. It is now 1:15 am, standard time, because we set the clocks back. I have no complaints, but a couple days later, I get a call from a manager.)

Manager: “Hello, I’m calling about your order a couple days ago from [Pizza Place].”

Me: “Yes, was there a problem?”

Manager: “You tell me. It’s showing here that your order took 993 minutes to be delivered, but that’s what, 16 hours? I just wanted to follow up and see what happened.”

Me: “No, it took about half an hour, pretty much what they promised.”

Manager: “So you ordered at 1:45 am, and it was delivered at… 1:16 am? That is fast, but that can’t be right.”

Me: *thinking back* “Wasn’t that the day we set our clocks back? So that does make sense. Maybe your computer system couldn’t handle a negative and it overflowed?”

Manager: “Like Gandhi?”

Me: “Yeah, like Gandhi.”

Manager: “Well, sorry to bother you, and I hope you order again soon. We’ll be fast next time, too, but we can’t get it to you before you order. That was a one-time thing!”


Pumpkins: The Hate Is Real

| NJ, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink

(I work at a courtesy desk for a grocery store. It’s the day before Halloween and we ran out of pumpkins. We got calls and questions all day asking if we had pumpkins for sale. After work, I decide to call the courtesy desk to mess with my coworker.)

Coworker: *picks up phone* “[Location] [Store]. [Coworker] speaking.”

Me: “Yes, do you guys sell pumpkins?”

Coworker:” No, we don’t sell them, [My Name].”

Me: “But [Competing Store] sells pumpkins.”

Coworker: “Then why don’t you buy them and bring them here so we can sell them?”

Me: “But why don’t you guys have them?”

Coworker: “Because we hate our customers. Have a nice day.” *hangs up*


A Ham-Fisted Attempt At Vegetarianism

| Belgium | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s late in the evening. My mother and I had a very long day, and neither of us are in the mood to cook, so we decided to grab a snack at the chip van. Note that I’m a vegetarian.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, are those lumpias vegetarian?”

Him: “Yes, ma’am! There is just some sparkle of ham in it.”

Me: “…”

(My mother could barely retain her laughter until we left.)


Making A Mocha-ry Of The Order

| SC, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I go into a local fast food chain to get drinks for myself and a friend.)

Me: “Hi, could I get an Iced Mocha, and an Iced Caramel Mocha?”

Cashier: “Okay, so, a caramel frappe and a mocha frappe.”

Me: “Sorry, no, I wanted the Iced Mocha and Iced Caramel Mocha.”

Cashier: *rings me up for iced coffee, which is not the same thing* “Do you want French Vanilla, Hazelnut, or Caramel Syrup?”

Me: “Actually, I wanted the Iced Mocha.” *points to board* “Right up there.”

Cashier: *condescendingly* “Yes, did you want French Vanilla, Caramel, or Hazelnut syrup?”

Me: “None, because I don’t want an iced coffee. I wanted Iced Mochas.”

Cashier: “Don’t take that tone with me.”

(The cashier calls the manager over. I explain what I want and he punches in the two drinks.)

Cashier: “Do you still want the frappes?”

Me: “I never wanted the frappes.”

(The cashier took my money, and then practically threw the change at me. While I waited for my drinks, I noticed her whispering to coworkers and pointing at me. I can understand that it might have been her first day, but she didn’t need to treat me like that.)


A Tall Drink Is A Tall Order

| Mexico City, Mexico | Employees, Food & Drink

(We are on a company event with clients and have several bowling lanes, with drink service and snacks. I am pregnant at the time…)

Me: “Can I have a soda, please?”

Server: “Hmmm, we don’t have sodas; we only have drinks.” *he’s referring to alcoholic drinks*

Me: “Really? Do you have Cuba Libre? Well, I’ll have a virgin Cuba Libre.”

Server: “Oh… so… Okay, I get it. Sorry.”