Category: Food & Drink

Bleach Out This Experience

| OH, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am the manager of a locally owned pizza/sandwich restaurant. As it goes in most places, I have a few good workers, several mediocre ones, and then there’s one woman who is the problem employee. Not because she’s lazy, but because it is seemingly impossible for her to do anything right.)

Problem Employee: *begins spraying bleach on the food table while food is being prepared*

Assistant Manager: “Hey! What are you doing?!”

Problem Employee: “Wiping down the tables before close?”

Assistant Manager: “You have to wait until I’m done making food on the table before you spray bleach on it.”

Problem Employee: “No, I don’t! Bleach won’t hurt food. It’s perfectly safe!”

Assistant Manager: “So let me get this straight. You’re saying that it won’t be a problem if you spray bleach on these subs?”

Problem Employee: “Well, yeah.”

Assistant Manager: “Okay, then. Drink it. If you don’t think it will poison food, then drink it.”

Problem Employee: *sudden look of realization and embarrassment as she runs away to hide in the back room*

Doing Lines At The Gym

| Dubai | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(The staff accommodation I live in has started to come to our flats and look for illegal substances after finding drugs in one tenant’s room, which is not only against the law, but punishable by death here. They come to my room and they have sent one of the female supervisors. They start opening closets and drawers and she finds my husband’s 5kg box of vanilla protein powder he uses for the gym.)

Supervisor: “What is this? Is this drugs?”

Me: “Yeah, cocaine now comes in 5kg boxes.”

(She was let go shortly after that and other similar episodes.)

Talking Bananas

| ID, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I often stop to get milkshakes from a Greek food drive-thru known for its shakes. It’s important to note that while the food is Greek, the employees are local, native English speakers.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food]. What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’d like a large thick vanilla shake and a large thin mint shake.”

Employee: “Okay, so that’s two large vanilla shakes, one thick and one thin?”

Me: “No, a thick vanilla and a thin mint.”

Employee: “Oh, okay, a large thick vanilla and a medium thin vanilla. Got it.”

Me: “No, only ONE vanilla. Thick. The other one is a THIN MINT shake.”

Employee: “…Banana?”

Me: “Please, just let me order at the window.”

It’s Been A Sizeable Day

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

Me: “…and can I also get a banana milkshake.”

Employee: “All right, what size?”

Me: “What sizes do you have?”

Employee: “It comes in one size.”

Me: “…”

Employee: “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

(Same, man. Same.)


| Ireland | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am meeting a friend after working out in the gym for coffee. I’m still feeling very warm and tired after showering and changing. I arrive before my friend and decide to order as I wait because I’m thirsty.)

Me: *reading the menu board behind the counter*

Barista #1: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, there. Could I get a medium black iced coffee and a bottle of water, please?”

Barista #1: *smiling* “Sorry, we don’t do iced coffee!”

Me: *thinking she’s new, I point behind her* “I think you do! It’s on your menu board underneath the iced tea.”

Barista #1: *seeing it* “Oh, sorry! Hold on.” *calls another worker over*

Barista #2: “Hi! What’s the problem?”

Barista #1: *still staring at the menu board* “Do we do iced coffee?”

Barista #2: “Yeah, we do! I’ll show you how to do it.” *to me* “What size?”

Me: “Medium and black, please. I’m allergic to milk. Oh, and a water as well! Thanks.”

Barista #2: *makes espresso in full view, adds tap water, and puts it in a clear cup* “Any whipped cream on it?”

Me: *confused* “No thanks…? Just plain, no sugar, no milk.”

Barista #2: “Any syrup in it?”

Me: “Erm, no thanks… Just plain black iced coffee, please…”

Barista #2: “Milk? Sugar?”

Me: *staring at her put a lid on my tepid ice-free ‘iced coffee’* “No thanks?”

Barista #2: “Okay, well here you go! Iced coffee with water!”

Me: *staring at the cup of tepid coffee* “Are you sure this is iced?”

Barista #1: “Oh, yes! I saw her use the cold tap!”

Me: *dumbfounded* “And my water?”

Barista #2: “It’s in it!”

(I was too confused and surprised at their stupidity to do anything other than pay for the drink and leave. I called my friend and had her meet me at a different shop where I stuck to drinking water.)