Category: Geography


Reverse Your Way Of Thinking

| USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, New Hires

(I work on towboat.)

New Hire: “Does the river always flow to the Gulf of Mexico?”

Me:  *face-palm* “No, we reverse it monthly to backwash it.”


Brazen About Brazil

| Stockholm, Sweden | Crazy Requests, Geography

(I’m a Canadian currently living in Sweden. I had to purchase health care, but my bank flagged it as fraud. This resulted in me needing to call my bank at their 24/7 international number in Canada to unfreeze my account.)

Employee: “Hello, you’ve reached [Employee] with [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m calling because when I tried to purchase health care from [Company], you guys accidentally flagged my card.”

Employee: “I’m so sorry about that. Let’s get it fixed for you right away. First, I just need to ask you some security questions, all right? When is your birthday?”

Me: “My birthday is [Date].”

Employee: “Great! And what are some of the most recent transactions on your card?”

Me: “I spent [amount] on [Date] and [amount] on [Date]; both of them were at [Store].”

Employee: “Fantastic. And finally, what country are you currently residing in?”

Me: “Sweden. I’ve been here for two years now.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s not what we have listed here. According to us, you’ve been living in Brazil.”

Me: “Brazil? I travelled there 2.5 years ago, but only for two weeks. I’ve been living in Sweden since [Date]. I called three times before I moved to ensure there was a note on my account saying I moved internationally and to give you guys my new address.”

Employee: “Umm… no. According to us you’re living in Brazil.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you I’m not and never have lived in Brazil. I think someone got mixed up when I called to inform you of my travel plans a couple years ago, and it didn’t get changed when I called about moving.”

Employee: “Okay… Well, since you didn’t answer correctly I’m afraid I won’t be able to unlock your card. You answered everything else correctly, but you’re not living where we have you marked down, so I can’t be sure you’re who you say you are. That’s not my problem so you’ll have to deal with it yourself.”

Me: “What?! Are you serious? I need my card! That’s the only card I have that’s free to use here! I’ve been using it here in Sweden for two years now and it’s never been a problem. If I’ve been living in Brazil then why have you approved all these charges coming from Sweden?! It’s not my fault someone didn’t listen to me when I called before I moved!”

Employee: “Well, that’s not my problem! Figure it out yourself. It’s not my fault you’re not living in Brazil!”

Me: *taking a deep breath, trying to calm down* “Okay, what do I need to do to unlock my card?”

Employee: “You need to make an appointment at your [Bank] branch in [Town].”

Me: “But I’m in Sweden. I can’t do that and I need my card. If I don’t have my card I can’t buy food or pay rent. I’ll answer any other questions, or list off all my transactions for the last month. Please, I really need my card!”

Employee: “That’s not my problem! You need to make an appointment, so I guess you better fly over to Canada.”

Me: “And how am I supposed to pay for a plane ticket without a functioning card?”

Employee: “I… umm…. THAT’S NOT MY F****** PROBLEM!” *hangs up*

(I called my mum over in Canada where it was then three am. She ended up calling their national 24/7 number and was able to get the number of a manager for me to directly call. Thankfully he was incredibly apologetic, and furious at the employee. My card was fixed and he even gave me $50 worth of bonus rewards points! And since then I’ve signed up with another bank to ensure that if this does happen again, I’ve got a back up.)


Doesn’t Know What You(tah) Are Talking About

| MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography

(I am moving cross country by myself with all of my belongings in a little pickup truck. Note that I’m female, in my early 20s, and look like I’m 14. After a long day of driving, I pull into the first hotel I see that looks like it is in my budget.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a room for tonight?”

Worker: “Okay, I need your ID and a credit card to put you in the system.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(I handed over my driver license and credit card. The worker stares at my ID for a moment and says:)

Worker: “Utah? Where is Utah?”

Me: “It’s a state? Further west of here?”

Worker: “I’ve never heard of Utah before.”

Me: “I promise you, it’s a state in the USA and that’s a real driver license.”

(He takes my ID and credit card to a back room where I see him talk frantically to another employee for about five minutes. I am exhausted, so I lean against the counter and wait.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your credit card is no good. The charge won’t go through.”

Me: “What? Are you sure? Can you try running it again? I know there is more than enough money left on it for a room tonight.”

(He took my card and went back to that room for a moment.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your card isn’t any good. You can’t stay here tonight.”

(I left the hotel and went to another place down the road. The worker at that desk knew where Utah was, saw how tired I was, heard my story, and reserved me a room. He then told me that he wouldn’t let me check in until I took a coupon from their lobby, got myself a hot meal (using the coupon), and gave me a killer discount! A few days later, after settling into my new home, I checked my bank account. The first hotel had charged me as a no call, no show and their corporate office refused to believe that I had shown up and been turned away. It took a lot of arguing to get them to refund me the money for that night.)


Doesn’t Have 20 Vision

Denver, CO, USA | Coworkers, Geography

(I’m a ski patroller and overhear this conversation on the radio:)

Patroller #1: “Colin [Surname] to Evans.”

Patroller #2: “Go ahead.”

Patroller #1: “What’s your 20?”

Patroller #2: “I’m… um… f***! Where the h*** am I?”


A Pizza Tale Of Two Cities

| FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Geography, Ignoring & Inattentive, Transportation

(The house that I live in is on a large area of property. We are located right on the city limits between two cities, with one part of the property technically being in one city but the house itself in the other. A lot of times when we order anything for delivery I outfit the driver to call for directions because GPS has a hard time finding us and will usually send them farther down into the next city to a vet’s office. On this particular day I have ordered a pizza and put the usual instructions so I get a call.)

Driver: “Hey, um, the instructions said to call you for directions and my GPS isn’t coming up with anything when I put in the address; can you tell me how to get to you?”

Me: “Yeah, GPS has trouble with my house which is why I put that. So, from the direction of your store you are going to turn left onto the highway and go until you see [Street]. The next opening you need to do a U-turn and it will be the first white house on your right. Call me again if you have trouble.”

Driver: “Okay, so what I need to do is [repeats directions]?”

Me: “Yes, exactly, but like I said if you still get lost call me.”

(He hangs up and I wait for delivery which should be about ten minutes since that is how far the place is from me. Fifteen minutes pass and it hasn’t arrived yet, then I get a call from the guy again:)

Driver: “Hey, so, when I got off the phone I found the actual directions to your house on the GPS and I am in front of the vet’s office. Where is your house?”

Me: “No, I know where my house is. Those are wrong directions. That is why I told you how to find me because otherwise you’ve gone too far. Now you need to turn around and go back and once you see [Street] we are the white house on the right. Got that?”

Driver: “Yeah, okay; I’ll see you soon.”

(Barely a minute passes when he calls me again.)

Driver: “Listen, I still don’t see your house so I’m just going back to the store and you can pick your pizza up there.”

Me: “I don’t have a car right now. That’s why I ordered delivery. Have you seen [Street] yet?”

Driver: “No, I’m not that far yet.”

Me: “Okay, listen I’ll just stay on the phone with you and do a step by step directions to my house. Where are you now?”

(He starts telling me the landmarks and the whole time is telling me he’s just going back to the store and I can pick up my food there and why did I give him wrong instructions. I’m ignoring all his comments at this point and am literally doing a step by step in which he still gets even more lost because he does about two more turns that I didn’t tell him to do. Finally he makes it to my house.)

Driver: “Wow, this is the hardest house to find! You need to give me a really big tip for all the trouble I had to go through just to find you.”

Me: “Listen, dumb-a**! If you had followed my directions in the first place none of this would’ve happened! What made you think I didn’t know my address?! Do you need help getting home or something because I know I don’t! You’re lucky I’m even giving you a tip at all with the s***ty service you just provided and complaining the whole way!”

Driver: “God! I was just saying. No need to be such a b****.”

(After that, anytime I ordered from there I made sure to ask for any driver but him and about three months later the driver who was quite familiar with me now told me he got fired because he would drive to the corner store, claim he couldn’t find the address, and call people to go pick up their pizza from the store.)

Page 1/1912345...Last