Category: Health & Body


The Cake Is A Thigh

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Language & Words

(Someone left a cake in the break room.)

Coworker #1: “Are you gonna have some cake?”

Coworker #2: “No, I’d better not.”

Coworker #1: “Come on, you know you want it.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, but my butt is saying ‘no.’”

Coworker #1: “No, your butt ain’t saying that. It’s saying ‘eat me’!”

Me: “Ew!”

Coworker #1: *gasp* No! I meant ‘eat it’! Eat the cake! Eat the cake!”


Left Holding The Baby

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I’m pregnant with my first child. The baby’s due date is December 9, 1994, which happens to be a Friday. Wanting to get as much mileage out of my maternity leave as possible, I work until December 9. Like many pregnant women, I have gotten a lot of “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” and “You’re so huge! You must be having twins!” I take most of it in good grace, but I finally reach my breaking point that day.)

Me: *gets in elevator*

Jerk Coworker: “You’re so huge! I can’t believe you haven’t had that baby yet!”

Me: “Nope, still here.”

Jerk Coworker: “When are you due, anyway?”

Me: *gives slasher smile* “Today.”

Jerk Coworker: “Um, what? Today? Should you be here?”

Me: “Oh, you know; I like to live life on the edge.”

Jerk Coworker: *starts looking very nervous*

Me: “Oh, boy. Was that a contraction? I’d hate to have my baby in this elevator.”

(At that moment the doors opened, and he was gone before I could say another word.)


Levels Of Service Are Bi-Poles Apart

| USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue

Years ago I was misdiagnosed with being bipolar until it was discovered I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) which causes a woman to have a serious hormone imbalance — imagine having PMS 24/7 and a 100 times worse. After getting my PCOS under control with the correct medications and the right doctors everything got better emotionally for me. No more sudden bursts of anger or crying for no reason, etc.

Then about three years later I break my arm and have to go to the ER by myself. I call my husband at work and he came to the ER later on.

While in the hospital my medical records show I had been diagnosed with being bipolar BUT also showed it was a misdiagnosis. However, the ER doctor on call seems to only see that I was diagnosed with a mental disorder and that is that. He seems to completely ignore the misdiagnosis and during the my time in the ER between x-rays and scans, etc. he keeps trying to get me to take the same antipsychotic medications I was on before and even loudly berates me because I “stopped taking my meds.” I try explaining, even give him both my family doctor’s and my gynecologist’s number but he just won’t believe me. Even when my husband finally arrives and tries to talk to him the doctor just won’t listen.

And on top of that, the ER nurses somehow find out about it as well and a few of them (not all) start treating me as if I should be admitted to the psychiatric wing of the hospital for not taking the antipsychotic medications.

The final straw is when the ER doctor leans over me while I am lying down on a hospital bed and gets up in my face and threatens to have the medication injected into me even if they have to hold me down and have me admitted to the psychiatric wing. My husband gets up then and almost grabs the doctor (he later said he was going to beat the crap out of him) but I tell him to stop and I said the magic words that I implore any patient of a hospital in a similar situation use, “I have the right as a patient to refuse any and all medications and procedures and I’m demanding to see a patient advocate NOW!”

Both I and my husband agreed later on that we both have never seen a person get so pale so fast.

The doctor leaves quickly without saying another word and we assume he went to get a patient advocate but about 30 minutes later when a nurse (one of the good ones) comes in to check on us we ask about our request. She didn’t know we had requested to see one and when she goes to check at the nurses station they don’t have any request either. They go ahead and call for one then.

When the patient advocate arrives and my husband and I explain what has been happening he helps us lodge a complaint against the ER doctor and we never saw that doctor again while waiting to be discharged. The few nurses who gave me grief also seem to avoid our room which is fine with us. The patient advocate did say the doctor in question has been updated to the fact my bipolarism really was a misdiagnosis and that we made a formal complaint about his behavior. The advocate ended up apologising on the doctor’s behalf which we both thought was unfair since it should be the doctor doing it.

On leaving the ER with my arm in a cast and feeling good from the painkillers, we pass the nurses’ station. Only the nurses and staff who did NOT judge me smile and say their goodbyes and get wells. The few who treated me like I was less than human have their heads down, apparently doing “paper work.”

I don’t blame the hospital for the way I was treated. I blame that doctor and the few nurses for assuming things without either knowing the whole story or refusing to listen, and thinking anyone with a mental disorder are liars or not to be taken seriously.

It scares me that there could be people with mental disorders being treated the way I was treated.


Looks Like This Is Your Cat Calling

| TX, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(We’d just adopted two adult cats from our local shelter and took them into the closest vet’s office for a general checkup. The vet first looked at our quiet, black cat and quickly announced she was extremely sick. What we’d taken as quietness was actually her masking her illness. Ten minutes later he’s run a bunch of tests and determined that, with a course of strong antibiotics and rest and food, she’ll be fine (and she is!) but had she been in the shelter even a day longer, she probably would have died. After that panic he turned to our other cat, a huge 18lb sweetheart. He poked around for a while and then pressed and held his finger right at the cat’s stomach.)

Vet: “That’s weird.”

Me: *every worried thought running through my head*

Vet: “No, that’s really odd. I don’t know…”

Me: “He’s sick, too, isn’t he?”

Vet: “Sick? Oh, no, not at all. It’s just that most cats won’t let you prod them like that.”

(He’s still the chillest cat I’ve ever known. The other cat, the one we got because she was so quiet, turned out to be part Siamese and tells us so at one in the morning. At least she’s healthy now!)


Not Going To Cry Over This Onion

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

(About twice a week, I go to a burger place during my lunch break. The burgers are expensive, but worth it because they have gorgeous, fresh, unusual ingredients. Instead of ordering those ingredients separately, you choose from burgers with pre-set combinations of toppings. I order one of my usuals.)

Me: “Hi, can I have [Burger], but with no onions, and with [substitute sauce] instead of the regular sauce? I know it has onions in it and I’m allergic.”

Clerk: “No problem!”

(I sit down to wait for my order, and the owner comes up to chat with me. After a bit of small talk, he seems to get to his point.)

Owner: “I notice you always order everything without onions. What exactly would happen to you if you ate them?”

Me: “Well, I get a lot of intestinal distress. Stomach pains, horrible nausea, things like that. So I guess it’s more of an intolerance, really. I just say ‘allergy’ because it’s easier to get my point across. Even a little bit of onion can make for a really bad day.”

Owner: “Oh, so it’s not like you’re going to stop breathing or anything. It’s not life-threatening.”

Me: “Well, no, but it can be extremely painful and uncomfortable. And the problem could get so bad that I’d have to go home from work, and I really can’t afford to do that.”

Owner: “Gotcha. Well, let me go check on your order.”

(When my order is up I head back to work to eat it. When I open the bag, my order has onions on it and no substitutions for the sauce. I know it’s easy to make mistakes so I’m not angry, but I do call the restaurant since I don’t have enough time left in my break to go back.)

Owner: “My cooks must have made a mistake. It’s not that much of a problem though, is it? You said it’s not life-threatening. You can still eat it.”

Me: “I just wanted to call it to your attention so that you can let your staff know to be more careful. I know mistakes happen, I’m just letting you know. With allergies and intolerances, it’s important. And actually, I can’t eat it. I can’t risk getting sick.”

Owner: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. We can’t be making you special orders all the time because you’re afraid of getting a little gassy. It’s a waste of our time.”

Me: “I see. Well, no worries, then. I won’t be ordering anything at all from now on.”

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