Category: Health & Body

Talking Out Of Their Asthma

| USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(It is just after daylight savings and the clock in our work room has not been changed yet. My coworker decides to take matters into her own hands and stacks up boxes to be able to reach it. She then makes a face about how dusty it is.)

Coworker: “Oh my! I’m gonna have an asthma attack. I don’t have asthma but I’m gonna catch it from this!”

(This coming from someone who works in a pharmacy and knows how this stuff works!)

Making A Bald Assumption

| Coworkers, Health & Body

(A customer has just called, and I answer the phone. She asks for my coworker, so I put her on hold and page him.)

Me: “[Coworker], you have a call on line one.”

Coworker: “Who is it?”

Me: “There’s a customer. She says she talked to you earlier about a computer.”

Coworker: “Did she ask for me by name?”

Me: “No, she asked for the old bald guy with the mustache. That would be you.”

Coworker: “I shouldn’t have asked.”

Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It

| OK, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’ve been diabetic type 1 since I was eleven, but my coworkers think they know how to manage diabetes better than I do. They’re always very uneducated about diabetes, but this coworker took the cake. This happened during my break on a slow evening.)

Coworker: “I hate needles. If I had diabetes, I would eat whatever I wanted anyway!”

Me: “I would too, but I’d like keep my limbs and organs.”

Coworker: “That can happen?!”

Me: “What did you think would happen if I just stopped taking insulin?!”

Coworker: *grabs the cake I was eating* “Oh, then you CAN’T have this!”

(I told you she took the cake.)

A Cancer On Your Productivity

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Liars/Scammers

(This is my mother’s experience. She manages a branch of an advertising company and her job can be quite hectic, as she deals with some idiotic workers. This coworker has been ditching work, so my mom and the other managers decide to fire her.)

Mom: “Hey, where’s [Coworker]?”

HR: “Huh, I don’t know. Let me call her.”

(Later that day:)

HR: “Hey, I got in touch with [Coworker] and she says she’s going to be out for ten days because she was diagnosed with skin cancer today.”

Mom: “Oh!”

HR: “And she is starting treatment tomorrow.”

Mom: “…Oh.”

(My mom knows this is another trick because my dad once had skin cancer, and treatment definitely didn’t start the next day. And it pretty much never will for any type of cancer. Then, this happens the next day.)

Mom: “Where is [Coworker]? We need to fire her.

Other Manager: “She just called in sick. Apparently she has a fever.”

Mom: “I thought she had cancer? You know what forget it. Call HR. Get [two other managers] on, too. We’re going to fire her over the phone if we have to.”

(Long story short, They called. She was fired, broke down in “tears,” and threatened to sue. She actually had her lawyer contact the company’s, who gave her lawyer her time sheet and demanded proof of her “cancer.” Surprise, surprise, she backed down.)

Cocoa Crazy

| AK, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Health & Body

(I’m the weird one in this story. For Valentine’s Day, my girlfriend gives me chocolate-scented hand lotion, which smells almost EXACTLY like chocolate truffles and lasts for hours. I put some on before work and am still pretty excited over it, as I love chocolate.)

Me: *runs up to my coworkers* “Guys! Guys! Smell my hand!”

(My coworkers all stare blankly at me as I shove my hand towards them.)

Coworker #1: “…I feel like we’re missing some context.”

Coworker #2: “And this is a very WEIRD way to start my shift.”

Page 1/11012345...Last