Category: Health & Body


That Did A Fat Lot Of Good

| VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

(I am currently looking for work during the story and I’m handing out a resume; I’ve also been on hormone therapy due a deficiency so I’ve gained weight because of it.)

Me: *enters the store and goes up to one of the workers* “Hi, I was wondering if I could see your manager? I want to hand in my resume.”

Worker: “Don’t even bother. You’re too fat to work in this store.”

Me: *shocked* “Excuse me, how has my weight got anything to do with getting a job?!”

Worker: “It might send the wrong message.”

Me: “About what?”

Worker: “That it’s okay to fat.”

Me: “Can I still speak to the manager?”

Worker: “Why?”

Me: *sarcastic* “I don’t know, because you’re being rude?”

Worker: *sigh* “Fine.” *calls Manager over*

Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “Your worker here was extremely rude and prejudiced.”

Manager: “About what?”

Me: “My weight! I was just going to hand in my resume when she stopped me.”

Manager: “Well, you are a little porky and we don’t want to send the wrong message.”

(I stormed out and handed my resume at other places. I ended up getting a job somewhere else and paid better.)


Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Health & Body

(I get a call from my health insurance company.)

Agent: “We are calling about your recent visit to [Podiatrist]’s office. This appointment was flagged as possibly being due to a work injury. Is that the case?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t from any kind of injury.”

Agent: “What was the diagnosis, sir?”

Me: “I had a heel spur.”

Agent: “And where on your body was that diagnosed?”

Me: “Umm… My heel?”

Agent: “Where on your body is that?”

Me: “My foot… It was an appointment with a foot doctor.”


Your Argument Veers To The Left

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

(A father-in-law and son-in-law team of plumbers are working on our broken drain line, and the father-in-law gets up with muck on his gloves and goes out to the truck to find a part.)

Father-In-Law: *swearing* “Why are there never any right gloves in this truck?”

Son-In-Law: “Because you’re left-handed.”

Father-In-Law: “What’s that got to do with it?”

Son-In-Law: “Every time the phone rings on your hip, you strip off your right glove and answer it. Your left hand keeps working.”

Father-In-Law: “…” *quietly* “I don’t do that. Do I?”

(No more complaints about right gloves!)


Self-Surgery Not Recommended

| Warner Robins, GA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(One of my wisdom teeth is starting to break through my gums, and the resulting pain and soreness has me somewhat distracted most of the morning. At lunch, I run to the pharmacy and pick up a tube of numbing gel, only to find when I get back to my desk that it has to be actually cut open.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], you wouldn’t happen to have a pair of scissors in your desk, would you?”

Coworker: *jokingly, as he hands them over* “I don’t know, can you be trusted with this tool?”

Me: “Man, I’m just trying to get this stupid wisdom tooth to stop giving me grief.”

(He looks at me with brows raised, and then I realize that I hadn’t actually mentioned that I’d gotten anything for my tooth.)

Me: “Oh, Christ, no, I meant to open this gel, not—”

Coworker: “I was starting to wonder if I should’ve handed you those!”


Deaf To Reason, Part 5

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Health & Body

(I am hard of hearing and while I can hear and communicate with others if they are around me, using telephones or any devices where I am unable to see the speaker is a bit of a train wreck. My boss and manager are well aware of this fact, and assured me that I wouldn’t be expected to take any orders by phone. I’ve been working there long enough now that almost all my coworkers know about this arrangement, but one coworker doesn’t seem to quite understand and constantly complains that I’m just lazy. On this day the manager has stepped outside, so it’s just the two of us when the phone rings.)

Me: *already busy with an order* “[Coworker]! Phone!”

Coworker: “You heard it first. You get it!”

Me: “That’s not how it works. [Manager] is out and I can’t use the phone, so you’re the only one who can grab it.”

Coworker: *huffs* “I can’t believe how lazy you are! You always push this on everyone else so you don’t have to work as hard!”

Me: “No. Not only am I currently busy with an order but I also have no training to take phone orders, so even if I could miraculously use the phone I wouldn’t know how correctly input the order in the system and we would lose a sale.”

(He huffs and answers the phone, clearly not convinced. After he finishes taking the order and comes back.)

Coworker: “See?! I don’t get why you make such a big deal of this! You can clearly hear me talking to you so it’s really no different. I bet you’re just pretending to be deaf so you don’t have to work as hard.”

Me: “Um, it’s completely different. For one, I’m hard of hearing, not deaf, and I doubt anyone would want to fake not being able to hear because it absolutely sucks. I have no training whatsoever to take phone orders, so I make up for this by doing extra work around the store to balance it out. We’re in a enclosed area with very little background noise, unlike on a phone where the signal can cut out words and the line can hum loudly and drown out the customer on the other end. Not only that but the quality of the sound through a phone is very artificial to me. Also, I can read your lips and body language because I can see you to fill in the blanks, and I can’t do that over a phone. Anytime I’m forced to use a phone or device where I have to rely 100% on my hearing, I end up asking the other person to repeat themselves a LOT and still miss tons of information. So no, it’s actually extremely different from talking to a person in real time.”

Coworker: “You’re just lazy! There’s no way you can hear me but not use a phone!”

(I gave up and ignored the rest of his rant how I was faking my hearing impairment just to get out of doing my job. He eventually complained to our boss with this belief that I was pretending to have hearing problems to get out of work. She chewed him though and asked him if he seriously thought that anyone would actually pretend to be deaf for the fun of it. He was fired not too long after that.)

Deaf To Reason, Part 4
Deaf To Reason, Part 3
Deaf To Reason, Part 2

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