Category: Health & Body

The Scent Of A Sale

| CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body

(I’m the customer in this story. My sister and I are in a shop that mainly specializes in scented lotions, perfumes, etc.)

Sister & Me: *smells a foul scent*

Worker: *next to us* “Hi, would you like to test out a couple scents. There’s a couple over here that are popular.” *leads my sister and me away from the foul smelling area*

Sister: *once the worker leaves* “He totally farted and tried playing it off.”

Giving Birth To A Whole New Mess

| North Attleboro, MA, USA | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(It’s later in the evening so we have a reduced staff: I’m on salads, plus there’s a pizza cook, a delivery driver, and a waitress. At the moment we have no orders to make and our only table is a young couple. The woman is very pregnant and has told our waitress that she is due any day. They’ve been chatting about babies and baby names for the last half hour or so, when the waitress suddenly comes running into the kitchen, looking frantic.)

Waitress: “Oh, my god! She’s in labor!”

Cook: “Really?”

Me: “Oh, my god, do they need us to call anyone?”

Waitress: “No, they just need the rest of their food boxed up.” *she runs back out into the dining room with boxes*

(The rest of the staff is having a moment of quiet contemplation until the waitress returns.)

Waitress: “I can’t believe they’re so calm! Her water just broke, too!”

Me: “I always thought that meant birth is gonna happen pretty quickly; are they sure they’re okay?”

Waitress: “Yeah, they said they’ll be fine, just driving.”

Cook: “Wow…”

Driver: “Wait, if her water broke, who’s cleaning that up?”

(We all kinda turn to stare at him, and then the cook bursts out laughing.)

Cook: “Look at this guy! We’re all marveling at the start of a new life and he’s like, who’s cleaning this s*** up?”

Some Coworkers Really Get On Your Exposed Nerves

| Kent, England, UK | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I have been signed off sick from work as I have osteoarthritis in one of my knees which has caused my knee cap to erode away completely, making it very painful to stand, which my job requires for my whole shift. After chatting for a few minutes with a work colleague following a meeting with management:)

Me: “I have to go. My knee is killing me and my hubby is waiting for me outside with the car.”

Coworker: “You know, the reason you can’t stand is because you’ve been off work for so long and haven’t been standing, so your knee isn’t used to it any more and now it hurts to do so.”

Me: “Umm, the reason I can’t stand it because the exposed nerve endings are pressed against and rubbing each other and the bones, causing intense pain when I stand or walk for more than a few minutes.”

Coworker: “Oh…”

That Did A Fat Lot Of Good

| VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

(I am currently looking for work during the story and I’m handing out a resume; I’ve also been on hormone therapy due a deficiency so I’ve gained weight because of it.)

Me: *enters the store and goes up to one of the workers* “Hi, I was wondering if I could see your manager? I want to hand in my resume.”

Worker: “Don’t even bother. You’re too fat to work in this store.”

Me: *shocked* “Excuse me, how has my weight got anything to do with getting a job?!”

Worker: “It might send the wrong message.”

Me: “About what?”

Worker: “That it’s okay to fat.”

Me: “Can I still speak to the manager?”

Worker: “Why?”

Me: *sarcastic* “I don’t know, because you’re being rude?”

Worker: *sigh* “Fine.” *calls Manager over*

Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “Your worker here was extremely rude and prejudiced.”

Manager: “About what?”

Me: “My weight! I was just going to hand in my resume when she stopped me.”

Manager: “Well, you are a little porky and we don’t want to send the wrong message.”

(I stormed out and handed my resume at other places. I ended up getting a job somewhere else and paid better.)

Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Health & Body

(I get a call from my health insurance company.)

Agent: “We are calling about your recent visit to [Podiatrist]’s office. This appointment was flagged as possibly being due to a work injury. Is that the case?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t from any kind of injury.”

Agent: “What was the diagnosis, sir?”

Me: “I had a heel spur.”

Agent: “And where on your body was that diagnosed?”

Me: “Umm… My heel?”

Agent: “Where on your body is that?”

Me: “My foot… It was an appointment with a foot doctor.”