Category: Job Seekers


Hired And Fired

| USA | Job Seekers

(I am interviewing a young college student for an entry level job. She’s wearing sweatpants and flip flops with a baggy shirt, and her hair’s a mess. Per the rules, we must reject any applicant who comes wearing inappropriate interview attire, even for entry level, so I do. My boss comes over to talk to me a short while later.)

Boss: “About her, did she really look that bad?”

Me: “Well, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed in old wrinkled clothes, and hadn’t bothered to brush her hair or groom at all.”

Boss: “Really? Because her resume is very good. I can’t believe someone with such a great resume would do that.”

Me: “Well, you told me that appearance is important when judging applicants.”

Boss: *snappish* “Yes, I know what I told you, but you should’ve hired her anyway! Did you even look at her resume?”

(Long story short, he overrode me, hired her anyway, and fired me… for following HIS rule! Idiocy must be a prerequisite for bosses.)


Should Use The Microsoft Wizard

| MA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Job Seekers

(I am a writer and content editor for a company. The writing office is fairly small, so everyone can easily talk to each other without leaving their desks.)

Coworker #1: “Whoa!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Coworker #1: “Did you see the email we just got?”

Me: “No, I haven’t checked in the past ten minutes.”

Coworker #2: “Check your email. It has to be seen to be believed.

(I check my email, and in it is a job application. Somehow, this person sent it to the whole office instead of just our boss. The letter starts off fairly normal, stating she went to school for journalism, but by the second sentence the applicant is claiming the reason no one will hire her is because she’s been cursed by a jealous Haitian witch. She lists all the ways the witch has ruined her life, including how she’s using witchcraft to mess with her phone, laptop, and Gmail account, lose her voice, lose her fingers, hands, and arms so she can’t type, and to get people to lie in court about her. I read through the letter it a few times, completely in shock.)

Me: “Good freaking lord.”

Coworker #2: “I’ve seen some weird applicants, but this is beyond insane.”

Coworker #1: “Is she for real? Maybe she made it up to show how creative she can be?”

Me: “If that’s the case, then she’s failed at that, too. Her writing is terrible! She constantly repeats herself, the sentence structure is sloppy, she’s giving us a billion reasons NOT to hire her, and she didn’t even list any references.”

Coworker #1: “Hey, [Boss], did you see this?”

Boss: “I read two sentences and deleted it. I have had more than enough crazy for this week.”

Me: “Yeah, this’ll fill your crazy quota real quick.”

Coworker #1: “Should we call her and find out if she’s for real?”

Me: “That’ll only encourage her. If she calls us, then you can be the one to talk to her. Otherwise, don’t engage the crazy lady.”

(The application went on our “Wall of Shame” to prove it really happened, and we have not heard from the cursed lady since.)


Was Animally Attracted To The Job

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Job Seekers, Pets & Animals

(I have been looking for a job for quite a long time, so I am thrilled to get a call from the pet shelter I’d applied to. They advertised for a part-time receptionist who would also be responsible for booking appointments and arranging birthday parties at the shelter. I love animals, and think this will be perfect.)

Interviewer: “You’ll be expected to assist with euthanizing animals on a regular basis once they’re past their ‘adopt-by’ dates.”

Me: “Um… there must be some mistake. I applied for the part-time receptionist position.”

Interviewer: “That’s correct.”

Me: “The job posting didn’t mention anything about euthanizing animals, though?” *thinking: If it had, I would never have applied.*

Interviewer: “I realize that, but we’ve found that if we include that in our ad, no-one will apply.”

Me: “I see… How often would I be expected to do that?” *hoping against hope that the answer will be very rarely.*

Interviewer: “Probably at least a couple of times a day. In fact, that’s mostly what this position will entail.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry for wasting your time, but I don’t think this job will be a good fit for me.”

(I really needed a job, but I wouldn’t have been able to look my cat in the eye if I’d taken that one. Luckily, I found employment elsewhere a month later.)


Job-Seeking And Found

| UK | Job Seekers

(I am currently working as an accounts assistant for a housing association, in an office based in the business park west of the city. As I am not happy in my current workplace, I recently updated my CV to include my most recent work and sent it to some job agencies to see what else is available at the moment. One of them calls back.)

Agency: “Hi there, I am [Name] from [Job Agency]. I have had a look at your CV and have found a job I think you will be well suited for. Is now a good time to talk?”

Me: “Yes, sure, that’s fine. What is the role?”

Agency: “The role is working as an assistant in the accounts department for a local company where you will be…” *the agency worker starts listing almost everything I am already doing in my current role*

Me: “That sounds great and pretty much what I have been doing for the past few months anyway. Which company is it?”

Agency: “It is with one of the local housing associations. The only slight issue is they are based in [Business Park west of the city] and I know it can be a bit of a trek for some people. Is this something you would like to put me to put you forward for?”

Me: “Um… possibly. Can I just check though – is this with [Company I am currently working for]?”

Agency: “Yes! Sounds like you already know the area.”

Me: “Yeah… you have just offered me the chance to apply for my own job.”


Unable To Resume The Résumé

| ON, Canada | Job Seekers

(I’m applying for a job at a large pet store chain. I am very qualified for the position. Three weeks after handing in my resume I get a call from the store, right before I’m about to go out of province for a week for a family wedding.)

Manager: “Hello! I’m calling about your resume. I read it over and frankly, you are exactly what we’re looking for! I’d love for you to come in for an interview. I’m actually away for the next three days but could you come in Thursday?”

Me: “Thank you so much. I’m so glad to hear from you! Unfortunately, I will be out of province for a week. Is there any way we can do a phone interview?”

Manager: “Oh, no worries at all! Just give us a call when you get back. We’d really like to interview you before we offer this job to anyone else.”

Me: *getting excited as this job is in my field of interest and would be good experience* “Thank you! I’ll call you back as soon as I get back to Ontario!”

(The day I get back I give the store a call. I’m informed that the manager is off sick but they’ll pass along that I had called. I wait a day or two and hear nothing so call again. This time she’s there.)

Manager: *sounding slightly annoyed* “Thanks for following up. I was about to call you.”

Me: “Of course. I hope you’re feeling better! I’m back in town now and I was hoping we could still set up that interview!”

Manager: “I have to rearrange my schedule a bit; being off sick has set me back. I’ll call you back with a day and time! If you don’t hear from me in a week give me a call!”

Me: *thinking a week is a long time but still optimistic* “Great, thanks!”

(A week went by and nothing, so I called as requested. I’m told she’s sick again. I call a few days later and am told she was busy and they’d pass on the message. This continued for another week. She never called me and by that point I stop calling. I get that my going out of province probably put me out of the running for the job, but she could have told me that rather than string me along. Luckily I got another job shortly after that was seasonal but also a HUGE boost to my resume!)

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