Category: Job Seekers

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Answering Plane-ly

| USA | Job Seekers

(I am being interviewed for an engineering firm.)

Interviewer: “Have you ever had a major mistake or error?.”

Me: “No.”

Interviewer: “That was a very arrogant answer you gave me.”

Me: “Let me ask you this. You actually expect an error or mistake?”

Interviewer: “Well—”

Me: “I worked for [Airplane Manufacturer]. I was taught that mistakes kill people.”

(After the interview, I get a phone call.)

Interviewer’s Boss: “One of my guys said that he found you arrogant.”

Me: “I found him dangerous and I am never working for him.”

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Time For Her To Reverse On Out Of There

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Job Seekers, Transportation

(I’m a manager at a very busy cafe. One day I head over to the restaurant for work. On my way there, a woman nearly hits me while changing lanes without using her blinker. I slam my brakes and lay on my horn, but she doesn’t even acknowledge the accident she almost started. She proceeds to cut off four other people, again without a blinker and without any room for her car to even go. She’s headed in the same direction as I am. When we turn off to the same shopping center, she pulls in front of another store, nearly hitting a pedestrian. While she’s not in front of me, I manage to get a look at her face. I go in the cafe and start setting up. An hour later, the same woman comes into the cafe.)

Insane Woman: *to the host* “HEY. I need to talk to the manager.”

Host: “Sure thing. What did you need to see the manager for? I can let him know when I tell him that you’d like to see him.”

Insane Woman: “None of your god-d*** business. Go get your manager.”

Host: *shocked* “Uh, okay.”

(The host comes to get me and tells me that there’s a woman to see me and that she appears to be angry. I ask what the problem was and the host, of course, doesn’t know. He mentions that she has just walked in.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you?”

(At this point, I recognize her from this morning)

Insane Woman: “I want a job application.”

Me: *trying not to laugh in disgust* “Oh, really? What makes you want to work here?”

Insane Woman: “Is that really any of your business?”

Me: “Considering that I do the hiring, yes.”

Insane Woman: “Does this place pay well? Also, I don’t work weekends.”

Me: *trying to contain myself* “I don’t think this would be a good fit for you.”

Insane Woman: *glaring* “Uh… WHY?”

Me: “Well, first, your attitude is sour and our cafe is known for its friendly staff. Second, your insane driving habits would be extremely off-putting to anyone who knew you worked here.”

Insane Woman: “How would YOU know how I drive?!”

Me: “Because you almost hit me this morning when you cut me off.”

Insane Woman: *silent*

Me: “You then almost hit four other cars and when you pulled into this shopping center about an hour ago, you nearly hit a pedestrian.”

Insane Woman: *rolls her eyes*

Me: “I sincerely hope you go home and work on your attitude some more. Being rude is one thing; causing physical danger to the people around you, though, is absolutely unforgivable. Have a nice day.”

Insane Woman: “Where’s the job application I asked for?”

Me: *thinking: has she even been listening?* “Have a nice day.”

(I walked away and she just stood there for a minute before leaving.)

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Applying For Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

| USA | Job Seekers

(I had been fired from my last job due to my coworker’s mistake, and am not feeling very happy that I have to look for another job for the first time in years. I’m interviewing from a customer service position.)

Interviewer: “So, what bring you in here today?”

Me: *muttering* “I guess I’m just masochistic.”

Interviewer: “…”

Me: *thinking* “Oh, crap, did I just say that?”

(I didn’t get the job.)

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