Category: Language & Words

icon_badbehavior

Patience Impaired

| UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I have just left university and, upon my dad’s insistence, I have called up to register myself for job seeker’s allowance. The operator who answers has a very thick Scottish accent.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need to register for JSA.”

Operator: “Sure, I just need to take some details.”

Me: “Sure, but I have to warn you. I’m hearing impaired so I might need things repeated.”

Operator: “That’s fine. So can I take your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

(She continues to take my basic details and everything is fine until:)

Operator: “And [unintelligible question]?”

Me: “Can you repeat that?”

(She does, but two minutes later:)

Operator: “Now, what is [unintelligible]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

(She does, but it keeps happening until eventually:)

Me: “Sorry, can you say that again?”

Operator: “No.” *hangs up*

(I rang back to get a different operator, but had to go through everything again only to be told I couldn’t register for another few weeks anyway. But he said there was a note that I had been rude, particularly about her accent, which he was going to remove since I clearly stated I was hearing impaired and my surname is very obviously Scottish, even if I’ve lost most of my accent.)

icon_languagewords

“Please” Is A Foreign Word These Days

| Rochester, NY, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(My parents take my boyfriend and me out to a restaurant. It takes us a few minutes to get the attention of an employee to seat us.)

Boyfriend: “Hi. We have four, please.”

Server: *blank look* “Four… please?”

Us: “…”

(A hostess finally shows up.)

Hostess: “Can I help you?” *looks at the server*

Server: *still blank* ” Four…?”

Me: “Can we get a TABLE for FOUR, please?”

icon_languagewords

Legal Fees Are Eternal

| UK | Coworkers, Language & Words

(I work as a nurse in a hospital. The phone at the nurses station rings, I pick up and it’s our ward clerk.)

Clerk: “Hi, I got Mr. [Patient]’s eternity on the phone.”

Me: “Who?!”

Clerk: “His eternity.”

Me: *thinking, is my patient dead and am I having an out-of-body experience right now?* “Um… put them through?”

Voice On The Phone: “Hello, I’m Mr. [Patient]’s solicitor. I’m calling to enquiry into…”

(After the phone call, I walk to the clerk’s desk.)

Me: “So, when you say eternity… Did you mean attorney?”

Clerk: “Oh, I can’t pronounce that word.”

Me: “Why can’t you just say lawyer?”

Page 1/10112345...Last