Category: Language & Words

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Dude Or Dude Not, There Is No Try

| UT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Funny Names, Language & Words

Boss: “So, if you have any suggestions for me, dude, just let me know.”

Me: “To be honest, as a modern woman, I really am not fond of being called dude.”

Boss: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Boss: “Okay. If I call you dude, I owe you a dime.”

(Sure enough, I’m at my desk later…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude… Agh!”

(She comes over and drops a dime in my change jar. A few days later…)

Me: “I finished status checks and appeals for the day.”

Boss: “Dude, you’re killing it! Agh!”

(A dollar comes flying my way.)

Me: “Dime, not a dollar.”

Boss: “Now I’m covered for the next nine times. How much have I spent so far?”

Me: “Enough to give my friends gas money.”

(A few weeks and several dollars later…)

Me: “If you can go one week without calling me dude, I’ll put away my change jar.”

Boss: “Let’s make it interesting. If I do that, you buy me lunch twice. If I don’t, I buy you lunch twice.”

(We shake on it. She puts up a sign to say “don’t call [My Name] dude!” I put one up that asserts “be so good that [Boss] calls you dude!” The following day…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude, we have so much due today. I’m going to run the reports and send you the email.”

Me: “Sure. You lasted fifteen minutes and owe me two lunches.”

Boss: “Dude! Seriously? I hate my life.”

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Dispatch With The Details

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(I work in IT. We have to dispatch techs to sites when needed, and I will often send out six to seven techs in a day across the US. I have a coworker approach me about one I had worked with earlier in the day.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], do you remember that dispatch you sent earlier, for that place, about that problem?”

Me: “Well, with all that detail, how could I forget?”

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Could Have Survived That Better

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words, Movies & TV

(I work with a small mom and pop pharmacy for several years. Due to budget cuts it is necessary to layoff an employee. After discussing our options the owner decides to fire a technician who, though friendly, is relatively lazy. This is when Survivor first debuted.)

Boss: “So, [Coworker], you’ve been voted off the island.”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “…”

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Well, Those Can Be Edible Too

| UT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(There are extra cupboards in our break-room where workers are allowed to stash snacks.)

Male Coworker: “Is it odd that every time I hear the word “unmentionables” I think of all the food that I have stashed in different areas of the office, and not of women’s lingerie?”

Me: *bursts out laughing, and walks away*