Category: Language & Words

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Two Girls, Three-Hundred Cups

| White Bear Lake, MN, USA | Language & Words

(My mom works in a call center that takes orders for homecoming supplies for high schools – banners, cups, foam hands, etc. In between calls she will look at orders, because whenever there’s customization, there can be typos. Luckily, this one she manages to catch before printing:)

Mom: “I think this order needs to be reviewed again before being processed.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “I don’t think they want 300 cups that say ‘The Red Hot Loins.’”

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Very Personal Banking

| AL, USA | Language & Words

(I am working as a bank teller at a small bank branch. I’m also very pregnant, so sometimes my ‘pregnant brain’ turns on and I forget something, say something strange, or cry at the most ridiculous things. All my coworkers are women and have young kids, so they help me out when I’m having a bad day, and we all laugh when I do anything crazy. I have a younger male customer come in and start walking towards my window. I start to greet him, but instead of “Hi, what can I do for you today?” my pregnant brain takes over and I says.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do to you today? Wait! No! I mean… not do TO you. I meant, oh, wow, this is going downhill fast.”

(That poor man’s face was so red, and all my coworkers laughed at me the rest of the afternoon.)

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Have No Idea WHAT Is Going On

| Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(I’m working at the jewellery counter as a Christmas seasonal employee. I see a display is looking a bit sparse so while I’m not helping anyone I grab some jewellery from the storage drawers under the display to refill it. My manager passes behind me and sees the empty display.)

Manager: “[My Name], refill the jewellery display if you aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “I’m already on it.”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *wondering if I offended her by my wording* “What?”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *stares at the manager, completely confused*

Manager: *to another worker* “I never let anyone say ‘what’ to me. Not even my own daughter.” *walks away*

Me: *flabbergasted*

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And A Happy Nude Year!

| ON, Canada | Holidays, Language & Words

(I have been working long shifts for the past 12 days because of the Christmas rush, and I’m a little burned out. The lady I am serving has just bought a box of chicken breasts.)

Me: “Here’s your bag, and here’s your receipt. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your breasts!”

(The customer gives me a scandalized stare before hurrying out.)

Coworker: “I think you should go work in the back for a while…”

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What The World Needs Now…

| VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

(I’m male and married, and I’m on the phone with a male customer whom I know well. He’s recently remarried, and told me about his wife and how very much he is in love with her. While on the call, I’m thinking about how nice that is and how happy I am for him.)

Customer: “Thanks, bye!”

Me: “Bye! Love ya!” *click*

(Then I realized what I said. I sat there for a few minutes, and then sheepishly called him back. The funniest part was, he was so used to hearing it from his wife that it didn’t even register! We had a good laugh over it.)