Category: Language & Words


Putting It Bluntly

| VA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

Man Checking Out: “Sir, do you have [type of cheap cigar product]?”

Cashier: “I’m not sure. Let me check.” *yells out to middle-aged manager across the aisle to see if they carry that product*

Manager: “No, but we have blunts… Oh, I mean, we have cigarillos!”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face as the man is asking for a different product*

Me: *trying so hard not to burst out laughing*


Employing New Tactics

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

(I work as a courtesy clerk, and despite wearing the uniform, I am constantly asked if I worked there. I start getting creative.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Nope, but I’m employed here.”


Will Be In The Desk Job Forever

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Language & Words

(I studied Spanish for five years in school, but I am by no means fluent. One day while working the service desk, I get a Spanish-speaking customer. I decide to practice a little by chatting with him in the language. I want to be a writer, so I tell him this.)

Me: “Quiero ser escritorio.”

(As I say this, I make a writing gesture in the air. The customer smiles and seems to understand. We finish his transaction, and he goes on his way. A few minutes later, I realize that I should have said quiero ser escritor. What I did say actually meant I want to be a desk. I’m sure the customer understood me anyway, but it was embarrassing nonetheless!)


Man, You Bring Me Down

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(This conversation takes place over our headsets. I am answering phones, my coworker is at the cash register, and the manager is somewhere on the sales floor.)

Coworker: “I’ve got a customer up here who says there’s a man down.”

Manager: “[Coworker], where are you? Does someone need help?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think anyone needs help. There’s just a man down, in the men’s department.”

Me: “[Coworker], is this a real person, or a mannequin?”

Coworker: “What’s a mannequin? There’s a man down in men’s.”

Me: “Are we talking about the men we display clothes on?”

Coworker: “Yes! There’s a man down in men’s!”

Manager: “So, this isn’t an emergency?”

Coworker: “No. There’s just a man down.”


How To Order Disorder

| England, UK | Language & Words

(After a rough night and only a few hours sleep I decide to pick up a snack from a fast food chain at lunch, and order a box of fries and chicken bits. I then discover they’ve implemented this new system where you are handed a number, when it’s called you show your receipt and get your food. For this relatively small restaurant this is surprising as it’s only really efficient in big busy chains. I am handed my number and step to the side. A few moments later a box is dropped in from the kitchen, which I assume is mine, but before I can move a second server picks it up and sets it in front of someone who has just walked into the restaurant and up to the counter, offering him condiments and putting in a sachet of barbecue sauce.)

Server #1: *calling over* “That’s not his!”

(Again I assume it is mine, as it’s not busy and it’s a simple order, so I go to step forward until.)

Server #2: “Taih-un taitair? Taihun taitair?”

(I stand there bewildered for a few seconds as she repeats the phrase, until I realise she’s calling the number on my receipt ‘3133’ – finally I walk up and receive my order.)

Server #2: *in perfect English* “Sorry, he stepped forward so I assumed it was his.”

(I walked out a bit dazed by the experience.)