Category: Language & Words


Let’s Hope He Has Onion Representation

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, New Hires

(I am training a new cashier. He has yet to learn most of the produce codes, so he often looks them up in an alphabetical list provided to us. The list can be somewhat confusing, as something like “red peppers” would be listed as “peppers, red,” and so on. He comes upon red onions.)

New Cashier: “Are these under ‘R’ for red or ‘U’ for onion?”

(I’m not sure how long he’ll last.)


How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 11

| UK | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Language & Words

(The phone rings. I answer.)

Telemarketer: “Can I speak to the homeowner, please?”

Me: “I’m not gay.”

Telemarketer: “No, I said ‘homeowner.'”

Me: “And I said I’m not gay.”

(The telemarketer on the other end had such fits of laughter she hung up on me.)

How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 10
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 9
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 8



| Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Language & Words

(I’m a customer service manager at a large department store. Part of my job is running to check prices if the cashiers can’t get ahold of anyone on the floor. One of the cashiers waves me over.)

Cashier: “I need you to check the price on those placentas in the middle aisle.”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Cashier: “The placentas! Check the price on the placentas!”

Me: “Do you mean the poinsettias?”

Cashier: “Yes, the placentas!”


Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!