Category: Language & Words

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Your Writing Is “Tatty”

| NH, USA | Employees, Language & Words

(My wife has distinctive penmanship. After she has filled out a charitable donation form at a local shop, the young clerk comments:)

Clerk: “You have great writing! You should work at a tattoo parlor.”

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Stuck In The Middle

| MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Language & Words, Popular

(I’m getting my first driver’s license at 16. My mom sends me in with the required stuff — birth certificate, social security card, etc. — and waits in the car for me. I have an unusual middle name, with a small difference between it and something more traditional, like “Kinderly” instead of “Kimberly.”)

Employee: “Number 26!”

Me: *approaches counter with form filled out, which I pass to the employee. All my documentation is in a folder I am holding* “I’m here to get my first driver’s license.”

Employee: *looks over form, pushes it back to me* “You spelled your name wrong. You need to redo this.”

Me: *shocked pause* “…I’m sorry. What?”

Employee: “Right here. Your middle name. That should be an ‘m’, not an ‘n’.”

Me: “…No, it’s correct. My middle name is spelled with an ‘n’.”

Employee: “No, it’s not.”

Me: *completely unsure how to respond to that* “Uh… but… it is, thou—”

Employee: *interrupting* “Go get a new form, and stop wasting my time!” *shoves form back across the counter at me* “Number 27!”

(In a daze, I walk out to the car and explain what happened to my mom. She’s FURIOUS. She takes my form and folder of paperwork, marches up to the counter and interrupts the employee with the next customer. Luckily, the customer sees how pissed she is and just steps aside.)

Mom: “Did you tell my daughter that she spelled HER OWN NAME incorrectly on this form?!”

Employee: *stone-faced* “Yes. Because she did. That should be an ‘m’, not an ‘n’.”

Mom: *whips out the copy of my birth certificate & social security card in the folder* “So, I guess these are wrong too, then?!”

Employee: *glances at the certificate and card, and then…* “Yep.”

(I see the customer we interrupted stifle a giggle. My mother looks like her head is about to explode.)

Mom: *pulls it together enough to manage a very tight…* “Manager. Now.”

Employee: *rolls her eyes and hollers for a manager*

(The manager comes over, and my mom relays the story. The manager looks completely baffled.)

Manager: “Did you seriously tell this girl she doesn’t know how to spell her own name?”

Employee: “It’s supposed to be with an ‘m’!”

(I never put my middle name on forms anymore – just the first initial, just in case.)

That’s Not One Smart Apple

| London, England, UK | Language & Words, Money, Popular, Technology

(I am quite up to speed on technology, but find it quite awkward when paying for groceries using my phone or watch. I have gone to the grocery store, but realize that I have forgotten my wallet. I get to the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve forgotten my wallet. Do you have Apple Pay?”

Employee: “Sure!”

(The employee went away, which I thought was quite odd, and came back and handed me something.)

Employee: “Here’s your apple pie!”

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A Cursory Complaint

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Popular, Technology

(When I am first starting out in IT, I work for a company that puts computers into grocery stores to do money transfers. These are the early machines, with no mouse and you had to tab between fields. The employees are also getting their first exposure to computers, and some of the terminology isn’t known yet. Example: blinky thing = cursor. This poor woman has a very angry person at her window trying to get money, and the system isn’t working.)

User: *talking over the yelling in the background* “Hi, my computer won’t let me pay out the money.”

Me: “Okay, is there an error message?”

User: *still talking over the yelling in the background* “No, it just won’t go through!”

Me: “All right. Where is the cursor?”

User: *nearly crying* “He’s on the other side of the window, and he won’t stop yelling!”

(It took me a second to realize exactly what she had just said.)