Category: Language & Words

Has Hangups With Bad Language

| Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Language & Words

(I’ve received a call from an unknown number three times a day for the last two weeks, and they never leave a message. I’ve attempted answering them, but they usually hang up regardless of whether I say anything. Finally one day, there’s a person on the other end…)

Me: “WHO THE F*** IS THIS?”

Telemarketer: *offended* “Language!” *hangs up*

(Don’t call me three times a day for two weeks and act offended when I answer in a less than polite manner. They stopped calling me after this.)

French Makes Everything Sound Dirty

| Canada | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I’m a stagehand, on tour with a French play. I’m an Anglophone, but, like most Canadians, I took French in school, and I’m a bit of a Francophile, so I have a basic understanding of the language and can speak a little.)

Me: “I need a pipe. Hey! I can say that in French! Je besoin un pipe!”

Francophone Coworker: *laughing* “No, you don’t want to say that.”

Me: “Did I say that wrong?”

Francophone Coworker: “You just said you need a blow job.”

Me: “I am never speaking French again.”

Two Girls, Three-Hundred Cups

| White Bear Lake, MN, USA | Language & Words

(My mom works in a call center that takes orders for homecoming supplies for high schools – banners, cups, foam hands, etc. In between calls she will look at orders, because whenever there’s customization, there can be typos. Luckily, this one she manages to catch before printing:)

Mom: “I think this order needs to be reviewed again before being processed.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “I don’t think they want 300 cups that say ‘The Red Hot Loins.’”

Very Personal Banking

| AL, USA | Language & Words

(I am working as a bank teller at a small bank branch. I’m also very pregnant, so sometimes my ‘pregnant brain’ turns on and I forget something, say something strange, or cry at the most ridiculous things. All my coworkers are women and have young kids, so they help me out when I’m having a bad day, and we all laugh when I do anything crazy. I have a younger male customer come in and start walking towards my window. I start to greet him, but instead of “Hi, what can I do for you today?” my pregnant brain takes over and I says.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do to you today? Wait! No! I mean… not do TO you. I meant, oh, wow, this is going downhill fast.”

(That poor man’s face was so red, and all my coworkers laughed at me the rest of the afternoon.)

Have No Idea WHAT Is Going On

| Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(I’m working at the jewellery counter as a Christmas seasonal employee. I see a display is looking a bit sparse so while I’m not helping anyone I grab some jewellery from the storage drawers under the display to refill it. My manager passes behind me and sees the empty display.)

Manager: “[My Name], refill the jewellery display if you aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “I’m already on it.”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *wondering if I offended her by my wording* “What?”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *stares at the manager, completely confused*

Manager: *to another worker* “I never let anyone say ‘what’ to me. Not even my own daughter.” *walks away*

Me: *flabbergasted*