Category: Language & Words


A Sting To The Flavor

| WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’m in the drive-thru with my partner.)

Partner: “What’s on your bacon cheeseburger?”

Worker: “Bacon, mustard,” *then, a word I swear sounds like ‘beehives’* “ketchup, cheese, and pickles.”

Partner: *to me* “Beehives…? What is that supposed to mean?”

Me: “I have no idea.”

Partner: “O… kay. Can I have that without mustard, or… beehives?”

Worker: “Sure!” *he gets distracted for a moment* “Wait, what was that, no mustard?”

(Neither of us can bring ourselves to say “beehives” again.)

Me: “Yeah, no mustard.”

(We got the receipt, and it only said “no mustard” which meant there should have been “beehives” on the burger. When we got the burger, I opened it up to find bacon, cheese, pickles, and ketchup. I still don’t know what “beehives” meant.)


Getting Into A Pickle Pickle

, | Wheeling, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

Me: “Can I get two [Burgers] with cheese, one with no pickles.”

Cashier: “So, that’s two [Burgers] with cheese and one [Burger] with no pickles.”

Me: “No, two [Burgers] total, both with cheese, one of them with no pickles.”

Cashier: “That’s the same thing, just said a different way.”


A Date With Confusion

| CA, USA | Language & Words

(Security guards use radio codes just like the police do. For example 10-1 means that you are being heard poorly and 10-9 means to repeat your last transmission.)

Guard: “Dispatch I know that I have ticketed this car on several occasions. Could you please give me the dates I ticketed this car?”

Dispatch: “10-1, 10-9.”

(A few moments of silence.)

Guard: “I know that I have ticketed this car on couple different occasions could you give me the dates?”

Dispatch: “10-1, 10-9.”

(More moments of silence.)

Guard: “Dispatch, do you copy? I’m looking for the dates of a car I ticketed some time ago could you give them to me, please?”

(Light bulb goes on for everyone listening.)

Boss: *trying so hard not to laugh over the radio* “Dispatch HAS given you the dates. October 1st and October 9th. Get it? 10-1 and 10-9?”


Taken… On A Plane

| USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Ignoring & Inattentive, Language & Words, Tourists & Travel

(My sisters and I used to fly as unaccompanied minors back and forth between our parents each year, on a long trip that usually took three layovers. One year, going from our dad to our mom, we get bumped from our last flight, which is NEVER supposed to happen to UMs. Our grandparents happen to live in the area and drive over to stay with us for the few hours until the next flight out departs, and the airline employees ply us with smoothies and snacks. One employee is charged with calling our mother and telling her what had happened, which he chose to do as follows:)

Mom: *answers phone* “Hello?”

Employee: “Ms. [Surname]?”

Mom: “Yes?”

Employee: *serious voice* “We have your children.”

(The airline also forgot to send someone to come and get us when the next flight was boarding, like they had promised to, and we only caught it because my grandfather went to go ask them about it when he got worried about the time. We literally had to sprint to catch it. Between that, the creepy-kidnapper-themed phone call, and getting her daughters back several hours late, and sugar-high from the snacks they gave us, my mom was furious. My sisters and I, however, remember that as the trip where we got free candy, a visit with our grandparents, and the apology vouchers that we used for a trip to Disneyland.)


I’ll Have An Entendre And Make It A Double

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I am following the host to our table when he comments on my height.)

Host: “You are a tall dude. Are you 7′? 7’1″?”

Me: “6’8″… but thanks for the exaggeration!”

Host: “Oh! Well you are welcome for the five inches!”

Me: *speechless*

(He is a really fun guy and there is probably some flirting going on. We turn it back around on him when we ask if the dessert we are considering splitting is “bigger or smaller than 5 inches.”)

Host: “This… is a family restaurant. I can’t respond how I want to!”

Friend: “We are sharing it; we just want to make sure it’s big enough to satisfy two of us.”

Host: “Oh… it definitely is!”