Category: Lazy/Unhelpful

The Cure Is More Painful Than The Disease

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I have a condition which causes terrible pain for a couple weeks, and inevitably, lots of lost work and medical fees. The treatment is simple, but I can’t get it without a diagnosis, which can only be done with a test when I’m symptomatic. I figure that if I only have to go through one more terrible fortnight of vomiting, pain, hospital visits, and being near broke, it would be worth it to never go through it again. I call the doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve been calling about that test. Is is back yet? It’s spelt P-O-R-P-H-Y-R-”

Receptionist: “Uhhh, yep. Found it; it’s back. Would you like to book an appointment? We’ve got this morning available, at 11 am?””

Me: “Absolutely. I’ll take time off work. See you soon!”

(When I arrive at the office, my doctor tells me it’s not back after all, and tries to stretch out my fifteen minute slot. As I’m paying, I speak to the receptionist who I suspect made the mistake that morning.)

Receptionist: “That will be $88. Thank you. Swipe here.”

Me: *while swiping my card* “You know, I called this morning to check if a specific test result had returned. I certainly wouldn’t have wasted the time and money to cut a shift short to come in if I’d known it wasn’t. Can you please clear up the correct procedure with your staff members, so everyone knows what they’re doing, and this doesn’t happen again?”

(The receptionist doesn’t acknowledge anything I’m saying, and keeps her eyes trained on the computer.)

Receptionist: “…and now, swipe a savings card, please.”

Me: “Did you hear me? Are you going to speak with your team?”

Receptionist: *finally giving me a deadpan, unconcerned stare* “Sure. Next, please.”

(Later that day, I get a call from the pathology lab, after having been asked by my doctor why it’s taken so long.)

Pathologist: “So, uh, can you come in tomorrow morning to give us another sample?”

Me: “What? I can’t! I’m better now. The results will be normal. What happened to my test?”

Pathologist: “It was damaged by light. You know, you’re supposed to protect it from light.”

Me: “I KNOW! It was wrapped in foil at the lab where I gave it, right in front of me. I saw the guy put in fridge. Who the h*** unwrapped it, and left it in light?!”

Pathologist: “Yeah. I don’t know. You can come by tomorrow morning, or you can choose to take the test when you experience the symptoms again.”

Me: *devastated, begins crying* “What? Fine, I’ll come in tomorrow. Maybe there’s some chance they’ll still show the results I need.”

Pathologist: “Great. Each one is $80, by the way.”

They Are Totally Out Of Tune-a

| London, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I have just started a new job, and have been trying out a few local cafés for lunch. I find one I like, and start going there once or twice a week. They have a menu written on a big blackboard with various sandwiches, toasted panini sandwiches, salads, and other hot food.)

Girl: *working behind the counter* “Hello, what can I get you?”

Me: “A tuna pasta salad, please.”

Girl: “Sorry, what?”

Me: “A tuna pasta salad.”

Girl: “Tuna…? Salad…?” *looks dubious and goes to get the owner*

Owner: “Yes? What would you like?”

Me: “A tuna pasta salad…”

Owner: “Tuna? We have tuna and sweetcorn?”

Me: “No, sorry; I mean the tuna pasta salad. The one from the salad menu.” *points to blackboard*

Owner: *speaking as if he thinks I might not be understanding him* “We have tuna. Tuna and sweetcorn, for a sandwich. You want a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich?”

Me: “No, no, on your salad menu. Look, it says ‘Tuna pasta salad.’ I presume you don’t have any?”

Owner: *looks at menu* “No. We don’t have that.”

Putting The ‘Wait’ Into Waitress

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(After a long hectic week, I meet my mom for lunch at her favorite restaurant in town. I’m the first to arrive and my mom shows up a couple minutes later. After 10 minutes, our waitress comes back.)

Mom: “We’d like to start off with the mussels.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *she doesn’t write anything down*

Mom: “And for my entree, I would like—”

(Waitress just walks off.)

Me: “…”

(Several minutes go by and we don’t see our waitress at all.)

Other Waiter: “Have you ladies been served?”

Mom: “We put in an appetizer but can we get some water?”

Other Waiter: “And bread?”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

Other Waiter: “Sure, no problem.”

(The other waiter drops off our waters and bread. We still haven’t seen our waitress. Just as we’re about to leave, the waitress shows up with our mussels.)

Waitress: “Oh, you two already have waters.”

Me: “Yeah, one of the other waiters got them for us while you were in the back.”

Waitress: “Oh, good.”

(The waitress walks off again. I’m stunned that she left before getting our entrees but we start eating the mussels. After the mussels, our waitress still isn’t back.)

Other Waiter: “Are you done?”

Me: “Yes.”

Other Waiter: “Okay, let me get this plate from you guys.” *gathers up everything and takes them to the back*

(The waitress finally comes back.)

Waitress: “Okay, what can I get for you ladies?”

Mom: “I would like the salmon salad with extra sesame dressing on the side. I would also like the feta cheese on the side as well.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *again she doesn’t write anything down* “And you?” *turning her head to me*

Me: “I would like the red fish grilled, blue crab crusted, with your seasonal vegetables.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(She then walks off.)

Mom: “How long do you think it will be for her to come back this time?”

Me: “I’m guessing 15 minutes.”

Mom: “Is she new?”

Me: “She better be new.”

(The other waiter comes with a pitcher of water to re-fill our glasses.)

Mom: “We’re your unofficial table today.”

Other Waiter: *laughs* “It seems that way.”

(Twenty minutes later, we’re pretty much sticking around to see what this waitress does next. She shows up with our orders.)

Mom: “I thought I ordered the feta cheese on the side?”

Waitress: “Oh… well… it’s only surrounding the salmon.”

(The entire bottom of the salmon is coated in feta cheese. Mom begins picking off the cheese. The waitress walks off.)

Me: *watching mom* “It looks like the extra dressing was added to the salad, not on the side.”

Mom: “That’s what I noticed as well. So much for the extra dressing in this tub.” *still picking cheese out of her salad*

(A manager comes to our table.)

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, that your waitress messed up your order. Would you like for me to bring you out a new one?”

Mom: “No, I hate to waste food.”

(My order came out as I correctly albeit the seasonal vegetable have overtaking my plate and pushing my fish to a small corner.)

Me: *shyly giggling* “I guess someone in the back saw that the green beans expire today.”

Mom: “That’s what it looks like.”

(We eat our meals but don’t finish it all. By now, the restaurant is shifting from lunch to dinner so the place has died down. Without a word, the waitress drops off our checks and walks off. I flag down the other waiter.)

Me: “I have a coupon for a free dessert. Do I have to eat it here in order to use the coupon?”

Other Waiter: “No, what would you like?”

Me: “The [dessert].”

Other Waiter: “One [dessert] coming up.”

(A couple minutes, he returns with my dessert in a box. A minute later, waitress comes back to take our check. I like to pay for everything on my card while my mom likes to pay for her meal with her card and tip with cash. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: “Did you want me to use the cash first and then pay the rest on the card?”

(Mom takes the cash.)

Waitress: “Okay.”

(The waitress walks off again. I can’t help but giggle. Mom rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. I get my card and am stunned to find five receipts with it. Why she printed off and gave me five identical receipts I don’t know. I add a tip, sign the top one, and leave it on the table.)

Waitress: “Okay, is there anything I can get you two?”

Us: *in unison* “No, we’re good.”

(The waitress walks off while we’re talking.)

Us: *in unison* “Uh… ma’am. Ma’am. MA’AM!”

(The waitress stops and looks at us.)

Me: “Can we get to-go boxes?”

(She simply nods and quickly comes back with boxes for us.)

Mom: “That’s the quickest she’s been all day.”

Me: “I know!”


| USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

(I am looking at ceramic tiles. Having done tiling before, I know I need to cut at least a few of them to fit. I’d previously bought tile at a local, now defunct, tile store that allowed customers to use their tile saw, so I  have inquired whether this store has a tile saw or cutter I can use.)

Employee #1: “No, but here’s what you can do.” *taking me to an obviously well-used tile cutter* “Take this tile cutter to the register and buy it at full price. Use it for three days maximum and you can return it for full credit. It’s like a free rental.”

Me: “But that means I only have three days to do the job.”

Employee #1: “Yes.”

(I was a bit dubious about this, but decided to go ahead. I finished the job late the second day but was too tired to run to the store, so decided to let returning the cutter ride till the third day. Since I knew I had a number of things to do the next day, a Sunday, I phoned the store for store hours.)

Employee #2: “How may I help you?”

Me: “I just need to know your hours.”

Employee #2: “We close at 9 pm.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(So, after taking care of all my chores, it is about 5 pm. Since I’d been told the store was open till 9 pm, I decide to go after dinner. I get to the store about 6:30 pm to find it closed! I walk up to the door and find that the hours for that day Sunday, are actually 8:00 am – 6:00 pm. So, after work Monday, I swing by the store to return the cutter.)

Employee #3: “I’m sorry, we can’t accept this return. It’s a day late.”

Me: “It’s a day late because I was told your store closed at 9:00 pm and was not told it closed early on Sunday.”

(This went back and forth a few times till I insisted on speaking to the store manager. He initially told me the same thing, but I wasn’t hearing it.)

Me: “So you have this peculiar policy that I must BUY an obviously USED tile cutter to do an ESSENTIAL job in tile-laying, and then you’ll accept a return in three days. I’d have been happy just to be able to use the same tile cutter in your store, but that option wasn’t open to me. Had you provided NO way to cut tiles, I wouldn’t have bought them here in the first place. Then, when I phoned in and spoke to a human being, that person didn’t give me the store hours as I requested, but only the closing time for MOST days of the week. Exactly what did I do wrong except to shop here in the first place — an error I could easily correct in the future by shopping at [Competitor]?”

(The manager approved the refund of my purchase of the used tile cutter.)


Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

This Is A Hold Up

| Grand Forks, ND, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

(I am working customer service at a big tech retailer. A customer comes in, having recently purchased a tablet which is now on sale at another store. She isn’t pleased about having to come back to our store, but I help as best I can.)

Me: “Part of the price match policy is that we must call the other store to make sure they have it in stock at that price. If they don’t, then we have the best price in town.”

Customer: “Ugh. Fine.”

(I proceed to call the other store. The phone operator is monotone and transfers me without ceremony. After a few minutes on hold, I get electronics.)

Other Store: “Electronics.”

Me: “Yes, I was looking in your ad at the [specific model tablet]. Can you tell me how much that is?” *my standard ruse when checking prices*

Other Store: “Uh… sure. Hold on.”

(More holding. During this time, I’m commiserating with the customer about the other store. She starts telling me how she prefers to shop here, and just wanted to get a good price, which I understand.)

Other Store: “I’m sorry; we don’t carry [wrong brand] laptops.”

Me: “[Wrong brand] laptops?”

Other Store: “Yes.”

Me: “I was looking for [specific model tablet].”

Other Store: “Oh, my mistake. Hold on.”

(On Hold 3: On Hold With a Vengeance. At this point, the customer is no longer remotely unfriendly towards me, the policy, or our service and prices.)

Other Store: “Yes, we have it. It’s $450.”

Me: “$450?”

Other Store: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, thanks.” *hangs up* “Hey, [representative of the tablet company who happens to be in the store], which of your tablets is $450?”

Representative: “Oh, that’d be [different model]. Why?”

Me: “No reason. [Customer], I give up. Here’s your $20.”

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