Category: Math & Science


Won’t Speed Up For A Dollar

| Concord, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Math & Science

(My friend and I are standing in the fast food line during lunch. There are two lines, and we are in the one with the cashier who is notorious for being slow.)

Friend: *holding dollar bill in front of cashier*  “Can I get a [Sports Drink]?”

Cashier: “No. You only have $0.25 on your account.”

Friend: “How much is a [Sports Drink]?”

Cashier: “$1.25.”

Friend: “If I give you this dollar, I should have enough.”

Cashier: “No, you won’t.”

Friend: “A dollar plus twenty-five cents is $1.25.”

Cashier: *skeptical* “We’ll just see about that.”

(She accepts the dollar, but doesn’t admit she was wrong. She gave him a bottle of water. At least now we know why that line is so slow.)


Slicing Salami But Talking Baloney

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I am getting some sliced meats and cheeses at the deli counter, and the woman working is pleasant enough but very slow. After a few minutes, she calls over another, just-off-break worker to take over my order, which was (at this point) slicing a quarter pound of salami. The following exchange ensued as part of the process:)

Second Worker: “A quarter-pound? I don’t know what that is!”

First Worker: “Zero-point-two-five.”

(Externally I remained The Thinker, but internally I was performing The Picard Facepalm.)


A Negligible Request

| USA | Coworkers, Math & Science, Technology

(I am a younger, female design engineer working for a helicopter manufacturing company, and it sometimes seems like my assessments aren’t taken seriously. An older senior project engineer storms in, in a tizzy, to get information on one of my projects after he has a meeting with someone higher up the corporate ladder.)

Project Engineer: “I need to know the weight of this part… this plastic mount for the wire ties!”

Me: “It’s negligible, and we are only using one in my kit.”

Project Engineer: “You don’t understand! [Higher-up] wants an EXACT weight, and I need it immediately so I can get this guy off my back!”

Me: “Ok, give me a couple of minutes to find it.”

Project Engineer: “Thanks, I’ll be back in a few.”

(He runs out the door. I finally find the info he wants after 10 minutes of searching.)

Project Engineer: “Did you find it?”

Me: “Yes. The weight is 40.37 grams per 100 of them.”

Project Engineer: “Ok, so how much is that in pounds?” *gets paper and pen to write it down*

Me: *after quick calculation* “Point zero eight nine per hundred. One of them weighs point zero zero zero eight nine pounds… or a little over fourteen one-hundredths of an ounce…”

Project Engineer: *starts writing and repeating to himself under his breath* “Point zero zero zero—” *stops short and looks up* “…hahaha!” *drops pen* “Okay, I’ll just tell him it’s negligible. Thanks!”

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