Category: Math & Science

Half-Witted By A Half-Dozen

| San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I go to the register and ask for a half-dozen doughnuts. The cashier looks at her manager.)

Cashier: “She wants six, right?”

(The poor manager had a look of pure shock on his face and just answered “yes.”)

You’re In Hot Water Now

| MN, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work at a hotel. It is a cold winter’s day, and a window happens to freeze up.)

Me: “We need to scrape it off; I’ll get the scraper.”

Coworker: “Can’t we just melt it with hot water?”

Me: ”No, the water would just freeze.”

Coworker: “But it’s hot water.”

Me: “It still freezes; I’ll get the scraper.”

(I go to get the scraper and come back seeing my coworker pouring hot water on the ice.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I’m melting the ice.”

Me: “I told you not to!”

Coworker: “But it’ll melt faster!”

(Thermodynamics happened; melting didn’t.)

They Were Just Wingin’ It

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I like buffalo wings, a lot. This fast food place has a 12-piece, 24-piece, and 48-piece options. I order 36 wings. The kid rings me up and tells me the price, which seems awfully high according to the board prices above and behind him.)

Me: “Why so much?”

Cashier: “We don’t have a 36-piece option, so I charged you for the 48.”

Me: “But you DO have a 24-piece option, and a 12-piece option. Doesn’t that make 36 total?”

(He stared at me a minute, then canceled the order and redid it, all without a word.)

A Brainy Comment

| AB, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Math & Science, School

(While pursuing my master’s, I’m working at a grocery store to make ends meet. One day I’m struggling to get a pallet jack working. The visiting regional manager is watching me, and growing frustrated. Finally, he decides to chew me out.)

Regional Manager: “Come on, you dumb s***. It’s just a tool. It’s not rocket science!”

Me: “I’m studying for my master’s in physics! ROCKET SCIENCE, I CAN DO!”

(Since I am having a rough day to begin with, my response is a little louder than he expects, and he is quite taken aback. But I must have had an effect because the next time he’s chewing someone out, this happens.)

Regional Manager: “Come on, this isn’t rock…” *trails off as he sees me* “THIS ISN’T BRAIN SURGERY!”

You’ve Been Through Thick And Thin Together

| KS, USA | Employees, Math & Science

(I find the label of the ham I want at the deli counter, but there is no actual meat on display behind it.)

Deli Worker: *standing behind the meat slicer* “Hello! Do you know what you want?”

Me: “I want this [Brand] Black Forest ham, but I don’t see it in the case. Are you out?”

Deli Worker: *she has not yet approached the counter* “Have you made up your mind?”

Me: “Yes. I want [Brand] Black Forest ham; do you have it in stock?”

Deli Worker: “I don’t know. Do you want some?”

Me: “Yes.”

Deli Worker: *steps to the counter, retrieves some ham from below the display area and takes it to the meat slicer* “Do you want it thin for sandwiches?”

Me: “On the thicker side, please.”

Deli Worker: “Thin?”

Me: “Thick.”

Deli Worker: *slices a very thick slice* “How’s this?”

Me: *not wanting to try and refine the size further, lest the conversation continue another five minutes* “It’s fine.”

Deli Worker: “How much would you like?”

Me: “One-third of a pound, please.”

Deli Worker: “Is that point-seven-five?”

Me: “No… It’s point-three-three.”

Deli Worker: “Ha ha. That’s right. I always have trouble with fractions.”

Me: “…”

Deli Worker: *cuts four slices and sets them on the scale, which reads 0.44. Then she goes and cuts two more slices*

Scale: “0.65”

Deli Worker: “How’s that? It’s a bit over.”

Me: “Um, yeah, can you take some off please?”

Deli Worker: *removes one slice, bringing it to 0.54* “How’s that?”

Me: “Still a bit much.”

Deli Worker: *removes another slice* “Are you sure? It’s under point-five.”

Me: “Yes, but I need point-three-three.”

Deli Worker: “Oh! That’s right!” *removes two more slices*

Scale: “0.33”

Me: “Perfect!”

Deli Worker: “Anything else?”

Me:No, thank you!”

Deli Worker: “Have a great day! There are free samples on the counter; help yourself!”

(The “free samples” consisted of four different deli bags with bar codes ripped off the labels, each containing a 0.5 to 0.75 pounds of meat or cheese. I think I know now what the deli does with the extra slices customers don’t want or need, and I have a clue as to why there were so many that day…)

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