Category: Musical Mayhem

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Thinking Outside The Boxing Day

| ON, Canada | Holidays, Musical Mayhem

(I am working on Boxing Day, and my coworkers are acting as goofy as ever.)

Coworker #1: *Singing Rocking around the Christmas Tree*

Coworker #2: “Stop singing that! You’re not allowed!”

Coworker #1: “I can sing whatever I want!”

Me: “Yeah, look out [Coworker #1]; you can’t keep her down!”

Coworker #1: “No! It’s not Christmas anymore! It’s Boxing Day! You need to sing Boxing Day carols!”

Me: “Rocking Around the Boxing Tree?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, or [Coworker #1] Got Run Over By a Shopper!”

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Christmas Music Can Be Drilling

| VA, USA | Health & Body, Holidays, Musical Mayhem

(I am getting my wisdom teeth removed right before Christmas, as I’m on break for college. The practice has three dentists, all with Jewish names.)

Nurse: “Okay, we’ll give the shots a little while to work and then once you’re numb we can begin.”

(A few minutes pass, and we wait quietly while the radio plays carols in the office.)

Me: *drooling* “Okay, I’m definitely numb now.”

Dentist: “Great!”

(He reclines my chair, adjusts his glasses, and picks up a drill. I open my mouth.)

Dentist: “You know, I swear, if I hear any more of this d*** Christmas music, I’m going to kill someone!”

(He turns on the drill.)

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Surgical Symphony

| Muncy, PA, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem

(I am about to have foot surgery, and the staff and I are waiting on Dr. Anesthesia. When he finally arrives, he attempts to joke with me by singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,” as it is raining outside. After seeing him and Dr. Surgeon, Surgical Nurse and Anesthesia Nurse wheel me past OR 1 and into OR 2. I am moved onto the operating table.)

Me: “Great. Dr. Anesthesia got ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Morning’ stuck in my head.”

(As I sing the opening line, Dr. Anesthesia joins in (off key). As I progress through the song, Surgical Nurse joins in. By the time I hit the chorus, everyone in OR 2 is boisterously singing with me. And as we finish, the door between OR 1 and OR 2 opens.)

OR 1 Nurse: “That was great!”

(The door closes and we are all chuckling.)

Me: “Okay. Next procedure, I want you all to memorize the libretto to ‘Evita.'”

(With that, my surgical ensemble laughed and knocked me out, just as I was adding: “Foot Surgery, the Musical!”)

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Keeping On Going To The Beat Of Your Drum

| England, UK | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

(As part of our training, we have to undergo a three-hour session hosted by an external speaker on conduct, communication, and confidence. The speaker occasionally asks if someone has ever done or seen something and uses it to make an example…)

Speaker: “I mean …okay, does anyone here play a musical instrument?”

(After a few seconds of awkward silence, I stick my hand up.)

Speaker: “Great, and what do you play?”

Me: “I’m learning to play the timbal.”

Speaker: “Ah, the timbal. Uh huh.”

(He pauses.)

Speaker: “What on earth is a timbal?”

Me: “It’s a Brazilian hand drum used in samba reggae.”

Speaker: “It’s a what?”

Me: “It’s a Brazilian hand drum used in samba reggae.”

(After a second or two of stunned silence, the speaker starts to laugh. After about a minute or so of laughter…)

Speaker: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I’ve never had an answer like that before. I was expecting the flute or the piano. What did you say it was called?”

Me: “A timbal.”

(He laughs again and carries on the session. About ten minutes later…)

Speaker: “Has anyone here ever… except you—” *points at me* “—I’m not sure I can handle finding out what else you do in your spare time… has anyone else here ever done tai chi?”

(After the session, my colleagues and I go for lunch and chat about the session.)

Colleague #1: “I thought it was useful.”

Colleague #2: “It had some good tips. How about you, [My Name]? What did you think?”

Me: “Well… I went in there feeling all right, and then he laughed hysterically at my one answer and told me he was scared about what I do in my free time… D’you know, I actually think I might have come out of that feeling less confident than when I went in!”

(The training was actually pretty useful and to be fair to the speaker, he told me to keep on playing drums at the end. Rather unfortunately however, several years on, I only remember that incident from the entire session.)

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Sleeping On The Job

| Vista, CA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(My coworkers and I have been discussing the French language. I speak it reasonably well; they, not at all.)

Coworker #1: “What’s that French song, parlez-vous français or something?”

Me: “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi”?

Coworker #1: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Coworker #2: “What does that mean?”

Me: *pause* “Would you like to sleep with me?”

(There are some things I never thought I’d wind up saying at work.)

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