Category: Musical Mayhem


Surgical Symphony

| Muncy, PA, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem

(I am about to have foot surgery, and the staff and I are waiting on Dr. Anesthesia. When he finally arrives, he attempts to joke with me by singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,” as it is raining outside. After seeing him and Dr. Surgeon, Surgical Nurse and Anesthesia Nurse wheel me past OR 1 and into OR 2. I am moved onto the operating table.)

Me: “Great. Dr. Anesthesia got ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Morning’ stuck in my head.”

(As I sing the opening line, Dr. Anesthesia joins in (off key). As I progress through the song, Surgical Nurse joins in. By the time I hit the chorus, everyone in OR 2 is boisterously singing with me. And as we finish, the door between OR 1 and OR 2 opens.)

OR 1 Nurse: “That was great!”

(The door closes and we are all chuckling.)

Me: “Okay. Next procedure, I want you all to memorize the libretto to ‘Evita.'”

(With that, my surgical ensemble laughed and knocked me out, just as I was adding: “Foot Surgery, the Musical!”)


Keeping On Going To The Beat Of Your Drum

| England, UK | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

(As part of our training, we have to undergo a three-hour session hosted by an external speaker on conduct, communication, and confidence. The speaker occasionally asks if someone has ever done or seen something and uses it to make an example…)

Speaker: “I mean …okay, does anyone here play a musical instrument?”

(After a few seconds of awkward silence, I stick my hand up.)

Speaker: “Great, and what do you play?”

Me: “I’m learning to play the timbal.”

Speaker: “Ah, the timbal. Uh huh.”

(He pauses.)

Speaker: “What on earth is a timbal?”

Me: “It’s a Brazilian hand drum used in samba reggae.”

Speaker: “It’s a what?”

Me: “It’s a Brazilian hand drum used in samba reggae.”

(After a second or two of stunned silence, the speaker starts to laugh. After about a minute or so of laughter…)

Speaker: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I’ve never had an answer like that before. I was expecting the flute or the piano. What did you say it was called?”

Me: “A timbal.”

(He laughs again and carries on the session. About ten minutes later…)

Speaker: “Has anyone here ever… except you—” *points at me* “—I’m not sure I can handle finding out what else you do in your spare time… has anyone else here ever done tai chi?”

(After the session, my colleagues and I go for lunch and chat about the session.)

Colleague #1: “I thought it was useful.”

Colleague #2: “It had some good tips. How about you, [My Name]? What did you think?”

Me: “Well… I went in there feeling all right, and then he laughed hysterically at my one answer and told me he was scared about what I do in my free time… D’you know, I actually think I might have come out of that feeling less confident than when I went in!”

(The training was actually pretty useful and to be fair to the speaker, he told me to keep on playing drums at the end. Rather unfortunately however, several years on, I only remember that incident from the entire session.)


Sleeping On The Job

| Vista, CA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(My coworkers and I have been discussing the French language. I speak it reasonably well; they, not at all.)

Coworker #1: “What’s that French song, parlez-vous français or something?”

Me: “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi”?

Coworker #1: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Coworker #2: “What does that mean?”

Me: *pause* “Would you like to sleep with me?”

(There are some things I never thought I’d wind up saying at work.)


As Long As You’re Rockin’

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Musical Mayhem

(I’m 11, doing inventory in a music store that belongs to a friend of the family. I’m working with a friend going over individual sheet music.)

Friend: *pulls out Jailhouse Rock*

Me: *pulls out Schoolhouse Rock*

Both: “Same thing.”


Pre-Order Disorder

| Maple, ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Musical Mayhem

(I go into a CD store to preorder an album, something I’ve done at this and other locations several times.)

Cashier: *finishing process* “Okay, we’ll have your copy waiting for you on the release date. You can come in and pick it up that day and we’ll call you to confirm that it’s in.”

(Fast forward to the release day. Six pm rolls around and still no call. Thinking I’ve been missed on the call list, I decide to stop in.)

Me: “Hi, I have a preorder for [Album] under [My Name].”

Cashier: *checking preorders* “I can’t find it. Did we call you?”

Me: “Honestly, no. But I figured you may have gotten busy and didn’t get a chance. It’s not a problem, though.”

Cashier: “If we didn’t call then it isn’t in yet.”

Me: “Okay, well, I was told it would be in today. Do you have a sense of when it might be in?”

Cashier: *doesn’t make an effort to find out* “No, we’ll just call you when it comes in.”

(I wasn’t angry or upset when I came in, but after that I am a little ticked. I decide to look around, if only to mellow out a little. I happen across a display with at least 12 copies of the CD I am there to pick up.)

Me: *sets CD on the counter* “Hi. You had said these weren’t in yet.”

Cashier: “They’re not. We’ll call you when they come in”

Me: “So that display over there isn’t for sale yet?”

Cashier: “I don’t know, but if we haven’t called you then it isn’t in.”

Me: “Well, then, just ring me up for this copy and cancel my preorder.”

Cashier: “I don’t know if I can even do that but I can try.”

(Lo and behold, everything went smoothly. I got the call five days later that my preorder had come in.)

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