Category: Musical Mayhem

What’s This? What’s This? There’s Bodies Everywhere!

| IL, USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

(We had someone from Ghana visit some time before this. I want them to come again and plan to give them an American story.)

Me: *to coworker* “So, I think he’d be able to understand some of the features, since the character’s killed by parents in revenge.”

Coworker: “But no parents ever get him.”

Me: *as I haven’t watched the whole movie, I move on* “But it’s just, he’d be able to understand, since this character dies and haunts them.”

Coworker: “But he doesn’t die.”

Me: *wondering what’s going on* “Okay, you tell me what happens.”

Coworker: “Well, he dresses up as Santa and goes to bring Christmas to everyone.”

Me: “That’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Coworker: “What were you talking about?”

Me:Nightmare on Elm Street.”

(She bursts out laughing.)

Coworker: “I’m so sorry!”

Me: *to coworker* “Just be grateful it wasn’t with a 10-year-old and a DVD player.”

Popular, This Music Is Not Popular

| NM, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

(I work as a technician in avionics and I’m currently the only woman in the shop. People frequently choose to listen to music while they work, but because the machines are so loud, we usually have to turn the volume all the way up, which means that anybody nearby can also hear it. I’m listening to the soundtrack to the musical Wicked, and it’s just a few songs in when…)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Coworker: “How about we make a compromise.” *pause* “You can listen to ANYTHING but this.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Not a fan of musical theatre?”

Coworker: *shaking his head* “Nope.”

I’ll Beatle You To It

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, History, Musical Mayhem

(I am on vacation with my family and in the eighth grade, wearing a Beatles T-shirt. As we are buying food for lunch at a grocery store, the cashier notices my shirt and starts quizzing me as he’s checking out our food.)

Cashier: “What was their original name?”

Me: “The Quarrymen.”

Cashier: “What’s Ringo’s real name?”

Me: “Richard Starkey.”

Cashier: “Who was the original drummer?”

Me: “Pete Best.”

Cashier: “Who was the original bassist?”

Me: “Stu Sutcliffe.”

Cashier: “Who was their manager?”

Me: “Brian Epstein.”

Cashier: “What label did they work under?”

Me: “Apple.”

Cashier: “Who was their sound manager?”

Me: “George Martin.”

Cashier: “Who died first?”

Me: “John.”

Cashier: “Who died second?”

Me: “George.”

(He seemed pretty happy to know I knew all those facts.)

Enough To Make Your Face Egg-White

| Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Bosses & Owners, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(I work in the service department of a well known big box electronics store. We have recently hired a new store manager who is a extremely full of herself and cares little about the employees. She spends most of her time on her cellphone chatting with friends. The store has music, approved by corporate and piped in to all the stores. Every month or so, they rotate out all the old music and replace it with new music. The new music was just added and it is Pitbull’s Hotel Room Service… which is a bit risqué for the store.)

Me: *to new manager and vice-GM* “Isn’t this song a little dirty for us to be playing?”

New Manager: “It’s the newest hit; we always play the newest hits.”

Me: “The lyrics are:

‘Oh, you’re the healthy type.

Well, here goes some egg whites.

Now gimme that sweet, that nasty gushy stuff.’

We are going to get complaints!”

Vice General Manager: *who is an older man* “Is that what he is saying? I can’t understand rap. I thought it was a kid’s song about playing in a hotel.”

New Manager: *patronizingly to me* “It will be fine. No one will complain.”

(A few weeks later I had to do some shopping there and came in on my day off. Oldies music is playing.)

Me: *to coworker* “Hey, what’s with the golden oldies?”

Coworker: “Oh, a mother complained about the Pitbull music playing and taught [Vice-GM] what egg whites meant. He has been playing Beach Boys and the Supremes ever since.”

Sounds Like Teen Spirit

| NY, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Musical Mayhem

(The store has renovated the teen section at the entrance to look like a club with TVs blasting music videos.)

Mom: “This music is too loud!”

Me: “Even I can’t stand this volume.”

Mom: “Excuse me, miss? Does this music really have to be THIS loud?”

Employee: “That’s how they do it now. The teens love it! I can’t change it.”

Mom: “Well, I’m the one paying for these clothes. I won’t be coming back if I can’t even hear myself think.”

Employee: *shrug* “…Okay.”

(Within a month the music volume was set to a tolerable level. I imagine the corporation figured out that drawing in teens didn’t spike their profits with the rest of the customers being driven out.)

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