Category: Rude & Risque


Not Very Manly Stories

, | Rijn, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

(I go into the staff room for my break. A few colleagues are already there. One of them is known for always being very strange or silly, but always a bit too much. He’s also not holding back on dirty stories or anything.)

Coworker #1: “Yeah, you know, I used to shave my pubes, but since I have a girlfriend I don’t do it anymore.”

(Coworker #2 and the team leader are not really the kind of people who seem interested in such a story. Finally the guy leaves.)

Coworker #2: “I think he just wants a tattoo on his forehead, saying ‘MAN’”.


Inconvenience Store

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque

(My family and I are coming back from a retreat in the Sawtooths, and we stop at a tiny town for a break. There’s only one store, so I usher the little kids inside to grab drinks. The store is basically a glorified motor home, with a single cooler with beer and sodas, and a counter with Idaho souvenirs. The place smells like the owner has been chain smoking in there all day, which already makes the kids uncomfortable. The store owner, an old guy with a scraggly beard and tobacco-stained teeth, doesn’t say a word to us as we grab our overpriced drinks, and when I go up to the register he sighs as if we’re horribly inconveniencing him.)

Owner: “Will that be all?”

Me: “Is there a bathroom in here that we can use?”

Owner: *condescendingly* “Noooo. We just s*** out in the yard.”

(Once the kids did their business we got out of there as fast as we could.)


This Story Has Yet To Be Titled

| Stoughton, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Rude & Risque

(I order a “freaky fast” sandwich for delivery. I always put in the instructions to call me when they get to the apartment building and I will meet them on the handicap ramp because my building is confusing. After a half hour I get a call that the guy is there. When I run down he hasn’t even gotten out of his car yet. When he sees me walking up to his car on the street he gets out. His pants are down around his butt so you can’t help but see his plaid boxers, and he says he doesn’t have a pen for me to sign. When I come back down with a pen his pants were still hanging low so after I eat and determine I am not hungry I call the store.)

Me: “Hi, I ordered delivery and it took a while, considering the time of day. Your guy didn’t have a pen, and I could see his boxers. Could you please tell him to pull up his pants? It’s really unprofessional, especially in the food business.”

Guy: “Yeah, that was me and I’m offended. You can’t talk to me that way!”

Me: “Wait, what? You’re offended by me telling you I don’t want to see your underwear?”

Guy: “I don’t need to take this kind of harassment!”

Me: “You must be joking me. Is there a manager I can talk to?”

Guy: “Fine!”

(After a couple minutes another person comes on the line.)

Manager: “I’ve been told that you’re really angry.”

Me: “Umm, no, at this point I’m just baffled. Your delivery guy showed up with his pants down around his butt and has now just yelled at me for offending him because I don’t want to see his undies.”

Manager: “Yeah… this isn’t the first issue we have had with him.”

(After that I got another call from a district manager saying sorry and a $10 gift card that I refuse to use at this point.)


Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!


Asked The Thong Question

| Ireland | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Rude & Risque

(This takes place before my morning shift starts. There’s just me, my boss and two girls in.)

Girl #1: “[My Name], did you ever try Toms?”

Me: “No, why? Are they comfy?”

Girl #1: “So comfy! You should get a pair!”

(My boss who was in our canteen, sticks her head out with a confused look on her face.)

Boss: “Hang on a second! [Girl #1], did you just ask [My Name] if he wears thongs?”

(Both of us burst out laughing.)

Girl #1: “No. I asked if he wears Toms, the shoes.”

Boss: “Ohhhh. I was thinking to myself that [Girl #1] and [My Name] know each other waaay too well!”

(With this, Girl #2 came out of the canteen laughing. We all had a good laugh about it. And this isn’t the first time my boss has said something like that.)


Needs Better Protection From Those Kinds Of Slips

, | Winona, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I’m the embarrassed employee in this incident. I am taking orders on the counter and feeling kind of tired when a good looking guy comes up to order.)

Guy: “Can I get a [combo meal]?”

Me: “Would you like a medium or large condom, COMBO, oh, my god, I’m sorry.”

(I was so bright red and I just thank goodness he didn’t laugh at me.)

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