Category: Technology

They Saw The Light

| England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

(I have been using the same garage for years; they give a good discount and are really flexible. There hasn’t been a problem until today.)

Mechanic: “Well, the car has failed the MOT.”

Me: “Oh great. What for?”

Mechanic: “Well, you had a bulb out on one side. If both sides were out it would be okay, but they need to be the same.”

Me: “Oh, okay, that is easily fixed. I will unplug one of the others.”

Mechanic: “Yeah, you could do that… Oh, it failed on light alignment. They have been fitted really poorly. Did you do it yourself?”

Me: “No, you guys did it.”

Mechanic: “Ah, okay. Give me one second.”

(I wait 15 minutes.)

Mechanic: “If you leave the car here it will be retested within the hour.”

Me: “Okay. How much for the retest?”

Mechanic: “Oh, I, err, don’t worry about that.”

(True to his word, the car was re-tested and even cleaned well before the hour was up and for free. I never got questioned about the lights again.)

Just Google It…

| Annapolis, MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a guitar store as the business manager, which mostly means I keep track of the money and sign people up for lessons with our music school. Although I am the only female employee of the store, my coworkers lovingly call me “Tech Support” as I seem to be the only one that is ever able to fix the printers, computers, and cash registers whenever they aren’t working properly.)

Me: *read over my assigned list of tasks for the day from my boss, notice a weird assignment, and call my boss*

Me: “I have a question about one of my tasks for today.”

Boss: “Which one?”

Me: “The one where you ask me to ‘Fix Google.’”

Boss: “Our Google Spreadsheets aren’t working correctly right now. When I open one it opens eight additional tabs in my browser. When [Coworker] opens one it freezes and then shuts down his browser. I need you to fix it, since you’re our Tech Support.”

Me: “I appreciate your faith in my technical abilities, but everything you’re listing is handled through Google directly, and since I don’t work for Google…”

Boss: “Yeah but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Me: *face-palm*

(Long story short, I spent over an hour on the phone with a Google Help Desk person trying to figure out why this kept happening. Turns out my boss kept double clicking the link impatiently while waiting for it to load, causing 8 tabs to open of the same spreadsheet. As for my coworker, it’s difficult for a spreadsheet to load when you have 18 other tabs currently open.)

Captcha’d Too Late

| UT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Technology

(I work as a PCI compliance consultant-in-training. Essentially all I do is make phone calls to businesses; if anyone is interested in becoming PCI compliant, I have to transfer them to a more experienced coworker. Most of the calls I make typically end up being wrong or disconnected numbers, but in one case, this one happens when I make a call and reach a gatekeeper, or the person in charge of accepting phone calls for a business.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Company]. How are you doing today?”

Gatekeeper: “Are you a robot?”

Me: “What? No.”

Gatekeeper: “Are you sure? You sound like a robot.”

Me: “I assure you, I am not a robot.”

Gatekeeper: “How do I know you’re not one?”

(I pause for a moment to think.)

Me: “Okay, ask me something that only a human would know.”

Gatekeeper: “Okay, okay, you win.”

(The call continues, and it becomes obvious that they were just bored and joking, and they explain that their company tends to do that whenever someone they think is a telemarketer calls. I end up leaving a call back number, and we both hang up. A few minutes pass. My coworkers and I are sharing a laugh about it, when suddenly I remember something.)

Me: “Oh, no!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I should have told them that I could read Captchas, instead!”

(We all agreed that, indeed, that would have been funnier.)

Going Into Uncharted Territory

| ID, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Technology

(I’m the employee in this story. I spot a woman who’s having a difficult time getting her son to pick a book, so I go up to help.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Woman: “Oh, he’s just having a hard time finding something to read.”

Me: “I can help.” *to the boy* “What do you like to read?”

Boy: “I don’t really like to read.”

Me: “Okay, then… What kinds of things are you interested in?”

Boy: “Video games. Do you have Minecraft books?”

Woman: “Oh, honey, I’m sure they don’t have video game books…”

Me: *wicked grin* “We actually have a whole section of Minecraft books… Oh dear, it looks like they’re all checked out. They’re pretty popular right now.”

Boy: “Do you have any World of Warcraft books, then?”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t.”

Woman: “[Boy], let’s find you a book that’s not about video games, okay? You need to expand your horizons.”

Boy: “One more, Mom!” *to me* “Do you have any Uncharted books?”

Woman: “I’m sure they don’t…”

Me: *eyes light up* “We have ONE Uncharted book! Let me go grab it for you!”

(I grabbed it and handed it to the boy. He was ecstatic. His mom was less than ecstatic… and I feel just a little bad for going against her wishes. But if it gets a kid who otherwise doesn’t like to read to read something, even if it’s a video game novel, then that’s better than nothing, right?)

They’re Sulu Safe

| NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Technology

(I have a manager who has a phone that has a ringtone of George Takei saying “Oh, my!”. We have this discussion.)

Manager #2: “I just walked into the office, and whoever’s phone was charging went off and said “Oh, my!” It scared the daylights out of me!”

Coworker #1: “That would be [Manager #1].”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my!”

(A little while later the manager is leaving and is still talking about the ring tone.)

Manager #1: “The acoustics in the bathroom make the ringtone louder. Think I scared some women when it went off in there.”

Me: “At least if they knew who it was they would know he doesn’t pose a threat!”

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