Category: Technology

Putting That Problem To Embed

| FL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Non-Dialogue, Technology

Recently, we have been working on expanding our audience through social media and digital publications. The director of our nonprofit signed off on this project, which entailed two new positions and a suite of stock photo and web services products. We start integrating social media embedded posts and share links into many of our online publications. One day, the director starts urgently calling and emailing, and ends up yelling at us in person about something “seriously wrong” with a recent story. He keeps saying that the link in the story is broken and no matter where he clicks, it takes him off the page and he can’t figure out how to go back. He also keeps asking why we added “such crap” to the story after he signed off on the content. This all rings alarm bells, and we’re desperately checking the page to see what happened to the code or if someone hacked the site.

Not seeing anything wrong, we ask him to demonstrate. He furiously goes to his computer, opens the story, and clicks on an embedded tweet, which launches Twitter in a separate window. “Why are we including THAT?” he shouts, pointing at some rude comment replying to the original tweet. “And why can’t I read the rest of the story?”

We try our best to explain that he is now on Twitter, he can close the new window, and he’s seeing replies to the Tweet we linked to, not anything that we chose to put online. He doesn’t understand and insists that we remove the offensive comment. Eventually, we just had to stop using embedded tweets because he freaked out each time and could not understand that we can’t control comments on a site that’s not ours.

Email Fail, Part 10

| Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(I’m currently four months pregnant and have found the best OB-GYN ever. However, before finding him, I went to this other doctor once whose office help is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. I’m told that I owe a balance that I never received a bill for, so I call them to clear this up.)

Rep: “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi, apparently I owe a balance but never received a bill. Can I have one sent to me so I can make sure everything’s correct before making a payment?”

Rep: “Oh, I don’t have that information. You’ll have to talk to billing.”

Me: “Okay, what’s their phone number?”

Rep: “It’s [email address].”

Me: “Sorry, I need the phone number.”

Rep: “Yeah, it’s [email address].”

Me: “No, that’s an email address. I need a phone number to call them.”

Rep: “That’s how you call them.”

Me: “So I’m supposed to dial an email address on my phone?”

Rep: “Yup!

Me: “Alrighty, then…”

Email Fail, Part 9
Email Fail, Part 8
Email Fail, Part 7

Insert Yourself Into Their Job

| London, England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I enter my local bank to make an appointment.)

Me: “Hi, could I please make an appointment for tomorrow? I need to talk over my insurance account.”

Receptionist: “Yes, we have a slot available. Could you please hand me your debit card, so I can register it?”

(He takes the debit card and tries to insert it to the reader the wrong way, so the chip doesn’t enter it. Of course, the reader shows an error.)

Me: “Um, I think you inserted it the wrong way.”

Receptionist: *cheerfully* “No, it doesn’t matter how you put it in. Our readers are sometimes acting up, I’ll try again.”

(He inserts it again, this time magnetic strip up. Machine shows error.)

Me: *not wanting to cause a scene, as the receptionist is very young and I don’t want to get him in trouble* “Sorry, but could I please try myself?”

Receptionist: “Sure. Maybe you have a luckier hand with this thing!”

(I insert the card and the reader validates it.)

Receptionist: “Oh, wow, maybe the direction does matter with this machine! Have a nice day!”

The Machines Are Aware…

| BC, Canada | Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(I am meeting my boss at a conference. I keep him updated on my whereabouts by text message.)

Me: *by text* “I’m at the corner of [Street #1] and [Street #2].”

(I arrive at the venue.)

Me: “I’m here.”

(After waiting in line for a long time:)

Me: “Still in line.”

(I make it through the line and find my boss seated at a presentation. There’s little room and I’m late, so I have to sit two rows behind him and he doesn’t see me. So as not to interrupt the presentation:)

Me: *by text* “I’m two rows behind you.”

(He takes his phone from his pocket and looks at it, so I assume he’s been receiving my texts. After the presentation, we meet.)

Boss: “Good to see you here. But I wish you’d let me know you were going to be late.”

Me: “I did. I was texting you all the way through.”

Boss: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah! Look at my texts!”

Boss: “I haven’t received anything from you… Here, I’ll send you a text to test.”

(I receive a text from another number. Then it clicks.)

Me: “Wait a minute… I was texting the OFFICE number on your business card, not your cell phone!”

(The poor receptionists at the office had to hear a horrifying robotic text-to-landline progression of someone coming up the stairs, culminating in “I’m two rows behind you”!)

They Saw The Light

| England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

(I have been using the same garage for years; they give a good discount and are really flexible. There hasn’t been a problem until today.)

Mechanic: “Well, the car has failed the MOT.”

Me: “Oh great. What for?”

Mechanic: “Well, you had a bulb out on one side. If both sides were out it would be okay, but they need to be the same.”

Me: “Oh, okay, that is easily fixed. I will unplug one of the others.”

Mechanic: “Yeah, you could do that… Oh, it failed on light alignment. They have been fitted really poorly. Did you do it yourself?”

Me: “No, you guys did it.”

Mechanic: “Ah, okay. Give me one second.”

(I wait 15 minutes.)

Mechanic: “If you leave the car here it will be retested within the hour.”

Me: “Okay. How much for the retest?”

Mechanic: “Oh, I, err, don’t worry about that.”

(True to his word, the car was re-tested and even cleaned well before the hour was up and for free. I never got questioned about the lights again.)

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