Category: Technology

Dial M For Moron

| QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Employees, Technology

(The medical clinic we go to has a walk-in service. They upgraded their system with an automated phone system. We have to call the system early on the day to get an appointment for the walk-in of that day. I am coming home from work and would like to have like my asthma checked up. It’s not that bad and it’s probably nothing but I stop by the clinic to see if there’s any places left for the day. I ask the receptionist.)

Receptionist: “Yes, there is. In fact, in about 20 minutes.”

Me: “Great. Can you write me in, please?”

Receptionist: “I can’t. You have to call the automated system.” *She  hands me a business card with the phone number*

Me: “I’m actually here. You want me to go back home to phone the automated system, and then drive back here? You can’t just write me in?”

Receptionist: “That’s the new procedure. Sorry.”

Me: “Oh… okay.”

(I step aside two steps and pick up my cell phone, take the business card and begin to dial the number.)

Receptionist: “Okay, I get it. I’ll write you in.”

Your Wait Time In Pieces

| USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

(I’m the stupid coworker in this story. I sit one cubicle down from the office printer. On this day, it is down and a gentleman is fixing it. He is literally standing 5 feet from where I was all morning. We had even talked about the printer being broken. I select a document to print, stand up, and walk next to the printer.)

Repairman: “Need anything?”

Me: “No, thanks, I’m good. Just waiting for my report to print.”

(At this point, the machine was open, parts were laid out on towels all around it and the gentleman was sitting on the floor working.)

Repairman: “I think you’re going to have to wait a while.”

Me: “Should be coming out any minute. It sometimes takes a while.”

(The repairman just stared at me until I realized what was happening, much to the amusement of my neighboring coworkers.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 15

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am in charge of supervising money transfer between Bank’s partners and clients. We received a request to kickback an erroneous wire our client received a few months ago, and the order took an unusual amount of time to process due to lack of information. Eventually, the colleague in charge of processing wires confirmed she executed the transaction.)

Colleague: “It’s all done, [My Name]! I sent the fax for the transactions.”

Me: “A fax? Isn’t this done usually by emails?”

Colleague: “Yes, but our protocol requests that we proceed to these transfer through faxes.”

Me: “I see… The order has already been delayed for a while. How long do you think this will take to be processed?”

Colleague: “Probably one or two days.”

(Three days pass and we still do not see any evidence of money transfer going out. Our client is eager to have this payable out of its book and ask if we could just cancel the fax transaction and issue a regular wire instead of the whole kickback procedure.)

Me: “[Colleague], please call [Counterparty] and cancel the wire you issued earlier this week. [Client] wants to make a regular wire quicker by email. I’ll be in a meeting for the next hour, but do confirm me when you have cancelled the transaction so we can proceed as quickly as possible.”

(Later, I received the following email from my colleague:)

Colleague: “All right! I sent the fax to cancel the wire!”

(I literally had to bang my head on the desk for the next minute.)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 14
Taxing Faxing, Part 13
Taxing Faxing, Part 12

They’re All High On E

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I have just bought a new computer, and decided to upgrade from dial-up to broadband Internet. They come and install everything, and the tech asks me to try to go online. I just get an error message.)

Tech: “Can I try it?”

Me: “Sure, have a seat.”

Tech: “I see the problem. You don’t have Explorer installed.”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It doesn’t use Explorer. It uses Safari.”

Tech: “Well, Explorer should be on the Windows disk. Where is your Windows disk?”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It doesn’t use Windows. It uses OS X. I have an OS X disk, with Safari on it. No Windows, no Explorer.”

Tech: “Oh, the Windows disk should have come with your computer. Go back to the store and tell them you didn’t get it. After you install Explorer, you should be able to go online. If you have any problems, call this number.”

(The tech hands me a card and leaves. I immediately call the number, and ask for an Apple tech. I get transferred to a rep, and we have the following conversation:)

Tech: “Okay, do you see the little blue “e” on the desktop?”

Me: “I have an Apple; I wanted to talk to an Apple tech. Can you transfer me?”

Tech: “Yes, I am the Apple tech. Now, do you see a little blue “e”?”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It runs OS X and Safari. No Windows, no IE.”

Tech: “Well, if you want to get online, you have to install Windows and IE. Call me back when you do that; it will take a few hours.” *click*

(I wound up calling the Apple support desk, and they fixed the problem for me. There was something wrong with the settings on the router.)

Might Have To Upgrade Their Wifi

| MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words, Technology

(My boss is originally from Vietnam. Except for the occasional problem understanding her accent we don’t really have a problem communicating, which is why this stood out to me. For those with different lingo, in our store we move boxes from the back with a U-Boat, and the HBC aisle stands for health, beauty, and cosmetics.)

Boss: “I need you to download the HBC boxes.”

Me: “…What?”

Boss: “The boxes in HBC, I need you to download them.”

Me: “I’m sorry… what do you want me to do?”

Boss: “There’s a U-Boat with boxes on it in HBC. I need you to download them.”

Me: “Okay, what do you mean by download?”

Boss: “We need the U-Boat for the truck coming in. Take the boxes off and leave them in the aisle, then bring the U-Boat into the back so we can load it. Then go back and stock the boxes to get them off the floor.”

Me: “Oh! Okay, yeah. I get it. I’ll go do that right now.”

(I would have probably caught the similarities between “download” and “unload” if I hadn’t been thinking, “do we even have a fast enough connection for that?”)

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