Category: Technology

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HDM-Lie

| England, UK | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

(I managed to order the wrong length of HDMI cable online. With delivery dates long, and no TV, I visit the local large chain computer store.)

Me: “Excuse me, where are the HDMI cables?”

Worker #1: “Oh, I think they are over there somewhere.” *gestures vaguely*

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks.”

(I eventually find the display, completely in the wrong direction, and pick out some items.)

Worker #1: “Oh, good you found them.” *looking at the items I’ve picked* “Oh, you don’t want those ones.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Worker #1: “That cable is far too long. The picture will be very poor quality. Here, this is the one you want.”

(He picks up the most expensive cable a meter shorter than I needed.)

Me: “Oh, err, no thanks. I need one at least four meters long. These will do fine.”

Worker #1: “No, no, no, just move the TV closer. You really need a better quality cable.”

(Worker #1 pushes the cable into my hands and tries to snatch the cheaper ones from me.)

Me: *recoiling in surprise* “I can’t move the TV closer, and I assure you these will be fine.”

Worker #1: “Look, I know what I’m talking about. You need these ones. Long cables will lose the picture.” *a lie*

Me: *exhausted* “So these cheaper ones won’t work?”

Worker #1: “No. You need the better ones.”

Me: “So why do you sell them?”

Worker #1: “I er, well these are just far better. Listen I know what I’m talking about. Hey, [Worker #2], come here a second. Can you PLEASE explain why he wants these ones and not the cheap ones.”

Worker #2: “Well, these cables will give you a much better picture. The cheaper ones won’t give you 1080p.” *another lie*

Me: “I’ve had enough. These will be fine. This is the end of the discussion. I’m paying and leaving.”

(I eventually get past the two workers. They still call out to me as I get to the till.)

Cashier: “Oh, are you sure you want these? We have an offer on [Expensive Brand] cables this week.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? These ones will break much faster than the better ones.” *lies again*

Me: “Ring me up.”

Cashier: “I was just trying to—”

Me: “Ring me up now; if I hear one more lie from you or your colleagues I will register a complaint.”

Cashier: “Fine.” *throws the cable at me*

(Safe to say, I never shopped there again.)

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Should Charge The Boss Every Time He Forgets To

| England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(My boss has convinced himself that his arm strain has been caused by his computer mouse not being wireless. Despite my efforts he asks me to order one.)

Me: “So, you plug this part into the computer and that talks to the mouse wirelessly.”

Boss: “Ok, so, how do I make it work?”

Me: “I have already set it up. It should work straight away. But if you find it not responding, stick it back in the cradle to charge it.”

(A week goes by…)

Boss: “This mouse you brought me isn’t working!”

Me: *I go to look* “Okay, you need to have this part plugged in. It sends the message to the computer.”

Boss: “Rubbish. I have had mice in the past that didn’t need this.”

Me: “I doubt that. I have plugged it back in. Is it working now?”

Boss: *begrudgingly* “Yeah, it is.”

(A week passes.)

Boss: “[My Name], this mouse stopped working again!”

Me: *without looking up* “Did you unplug the cradle again?”

Boss: “Never mind.”

(A few weeks later, I spot my boss rushing off to a meeting without his cradle. I quickly pick it up and stroll over to the meeting room. No sooner than I approached the door, my phone rings…)

Boss: “This f****** mouse isn’t working again. I’m in a high level meeting and I—”

Me: *opens the door and wordlessly plugs in the cradle* “Working now?”

Boss: *going bright red* “Yes, thank you, [My Name].”

(After that I thought he finally figured it out, until I was in his office a few weeks later and saw it unplugged and an old mouse being used. I sat the mouse in the charger and low and behold it worked again.)

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Going Down The Same Router Every Time

| Australia | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

(I’m calling my Internet service provider because my Internet had become excruciatingly slow. We’ve done about half-an-hour of troubleshooting to this point. My technician has an extremely thick accent that I’m having a bit of trouble with.)

Tech Support: “I need you to type this into the command prompt: A for Apple, E for Airplane…” *continues*

Me: “I’m sorry, didn’t catch that first bit, can you repeat please?”

(He repeats the same, including the E for Airplane.)

Me: *really confused now* “Sorry, E for Airplane? Don’t you mean A for Airplane?”

Tech Support: *sounding cross* “E for effort!”

(The call continues in this vein until he insists I need to try it with another modem or in another home with ADSL.)

Me: “I don’t have any access to either option. I don’t own another modem, I’m not buying another, and I’ve just moved to the area so I don’t know anyone.”

Tech Support: *repeats his first statement about needing another*

Me: “Like I said just before, I can’t do that.”

(This actually keeps going around in circles, I’m getting increasingly frustrated but not raising my voice or swearing. After about the fifth time he’s said his spiel and I explain I can’t do it.)

Tech Support: “Fine! There’s nothing we can do, then!” *click*

(Trust me, he got a very big complaint when I rang back.)

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