Category: Time

Suddenly Not A Full House

| VA, USA | Employees, Time

(My two friends and I are checking out the CDs and movies. We start hanging around a bargain-bin looking at each of the DVDs they have.)

Me: “Wow, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Season 6.”

Friend: “Oh, Full House.”

Me: “Yeah, I heard they’re doing a new version of Full House.”

Manager: “Hey, are you guys looking for anything in particular?”

Me: “No, we’re just browsing”

(I get the feeling we are being followed in the store. The manager leaves us alone at that point.)

Friend: “I feel like he wants us to leave…”

(We look up only to see the front doors have been shuttered up. We quickly head up to the front of the store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, did you close? Are we able to purchase our stuff?”

Employee: “Yes, give us a second. We’ll ring you up.”

Me: “So…when did you close?”

Employee: “We close at 9 pm on Saturdays.”

Me: *looking at my cell phone and seeing it is 9:35* “Did you make an announcement you were closing?”

Employee: “No, we didn’t.”

(If it weren’t for the subtle hint of the manager while searching the bargain bin we may have still been in there hanging around.)

There Was A Time When Kids Could Tell Time

| UK | Extra Stupid, Time

(I’m working in a coffee shop with a new starter who is in her late teens. This shop has a giant clock mounted to the wall behind the counter. It’s more for aesthetic, but it also means very few of us bother with watches.)

Me: “Okay, [Starter], your break is at three pm.”

Starter: *blank stare*

Me: “Is that all right?”

Starter: “When will I know?”

Me: “That’s about four hours from now.”

Starter: “…but how do I know? I’m not allowed to have my phone.”

Me: “There’s a clock behind you.”

Starter: *staring wildly at the wall, and directly at the clock* “Where?”

Me: “The giant circle.”

Starter: “That’s a CLOCK? It’s just see lines! How can you understand that?”

Me: “It’s an analogue clock. The long… line represents minutes while the short line represents hours. They rotate around the middle as time goes by.”

Starter: *staring at me like I’m from another world* “Who came up with that? Why not just have what’s on my iPhone?”

Me: “That’s digital. I guess the owner wanted an analogue because it looks fancier.”

Starter: “But, the numbers. Where are the numbers?”

Me: “There. They have roman numerals.”

Starter: “Oh, like gypsies?”

(What on earth are we teaching kids these days?)

The Long And The Short Of It

| Switzerland | Employees, Time

(I lost my wallet with my identity card. I’ve spent four days searching everywhere but give up. Because of a possible identity theft I need to report this to the police so I can get a new identity card and mark the old one as lost.)

Me: “I have lost my wallet with my ID and need to file a report to get a new one. It’s possible that the wallet has been stolen.”

Police Officer #1: “How long has it been?”

Me: “I lost it four days ago and couldn’t find it anywhere.”

Police Officer #1: “It’s maybe a little bit too soon to file a report. Maybe it shows up again?”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but I need to get a new ID ASAP, so I have to do this.”

Police Officer #1: “Okay, wait here. Someone will come and help you.”

(After a while another officer shows up.)

Police Officer #2: “[My Name]? You have lost your wallet with your ID? How long has it been?”

Me: “Four days, I wanted to make sure I didn’t just lose it.”

Police Officer #2: “Four days?! That’s way too long to wait! You should have come here two days ago!”

Me: “…”

Calling It A Night

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

(I work 12-hour night shifts, so when searching for services I prefer to do as much as possible online before I have to deal with people over the phone as most businesses return calls when I’m trying to sleep. The night before this occurs, I had been searching for mortgage information online and was annoyed when, after entering my information, rather than giving me the promised quote the site simply stated that someone would be contacting me. Sure enough, at around 10 am the next day, my phone rings:)

Me: *sleep slurred* “Hello?”

Mortgage Representative: “Hi! This is [Mortgage Company]! How are you today?”

Me: “I worked last night. I work again tonight. I need to go back to sleep.”

Mortgage Representative: “Great! So, I just need to confirm your information in order to get you your quote. The structure is a single family home?”

Me: “…which part of ‘I need to go back to sleep’ did you not understand?”

Mortgage Representative: “Ah… okay. When would be a good time to call you back?”

Me: “Don’t.” *click*

(He didn’t call back, but when I woke up again I had an email from the company announcing “We’ve been trying to get in touch with you!” I deleted it.)

An Odd Table

| TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Time

(My husband and I go out to eat on a Friday night that has indoor and outdoor seating. My husband goes to the restroom while I get a table.)

Hostess: “For how many?”

Me: “Two.”

Hostess: “Inside or outside?”

(I would like to sit outside but being pregnant and starving I may consider inside.)

Me: “Which is faster?”

Hostess: “Honestly, to go.”

Me: *I’m confused and stunned, maybe I heard wrong when she asked me inside or outside* “How long is the wait outside?”

Hostess: “If you can find a table someone is sitting at now and sit at the end where it’s empty you could sit now.”

(I’m still very confused as she is not really answering my questions, I take a look outside and see the tables aren’t big enough to share as it’s the size of a standard picnic table.)

Me: “No, I’ll just sit inside, I guess.”

Hostess: “Okay it will be a 20-30 minute wait.”

Me: “That’s fine…”

(I sat down to wait and was called in three minutes. I told my husband the story and he laughed but was also confused. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones that got me slightly upset, but it was a very strange encounter.)