Category: Underaged

Chewing (Tobacco) Them Out

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Underaged

(I’m a 26-year-old married man who looks VERY young for his age, to the point that I could easily be mistaken for a kid in high school. I also chew tobacco, and at every store I make it a point to have my driver’s license out from the get go. Most gas attendants are very appreciative of my cooperation with the law, but this one rubs me the wrong way. I walk into the store.)

Me: “Hi, mind if I get a tin of [Tobacco Brand]?

Attendant: “I’ll need to see some ID, pl—”

(The attendant hasn’t even looked up until this point to see me handing over my driver’s license…)

Attendant: “Oh, well that was fast…” *scoffs* “You don’t look 26.”

(She proceeds to glare at me as if I’d done something to piss her off.)

Me: “How many people come in here and argue over having to show their ID?”

Attendant: “A lot, actually…”

Me: “And how often do people have their ID card ready without you having to ask?

Attendant: “Uh… barely any.”

Me: “You’re welcome. Now may I please have my ID back along with the tobacco I requested?”

(Didn’t take her long to get my tobacco after that.)

The Gift Of Underage Youth

| Beaverton, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Underaged

(I am just the age where my mother will let me go one store over to a strip mall to browse, probably around ten or so. My dad’s birthday is coming up, and I am looking for something to get him. The nice middle-aged lady offers to help me and asks what my father likes.)

Me: “Well, dad enjoys a nice bottle of wine.”

(The sales lady shows me a bottle of red that is in my budget, and starts to ring it up.)

Me: “I should go get my mom.”

(Her face went white as she realized she almost sold a bottle of wine to a ten-year-old.)

Developing A Beer Gut In Your Old Underage

| Grand Junction, CO, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Underaged

(This story occurs in 1984, when Colorado still sold 3.2% ABV beer. People who are 18-20 years old can buy this in grocery stores and at “teen” clubs. Restaurants usually serve regular strength beer, which you have to be 21 to buy. I’m meeting a friend, who was born in 1965, for lunch at a restaurant/bar. When I arrive, he’s already at a booth, drinking a beer.)

Me: “Hi. Hey, I didn’t know they sold 3.2 beer here.”

Friend: “They don’t. The waitress just asked if I wanted a beer, but then asked for an ID. I showed it to her, but I guess that the way I gave it to her helped, and perhaps she subtracted 65 from 84 and got 21.”

(Soon thereafter, she comes over to take my drink order. I give her my ID, hopefully with the same flair.)

Waitress: “Sorry, hun. 84-64 is twenty. You have to be 21 to get beer here.”

(I take a breath to protest that my friend has a beer. But he glares at me, so I just shrug, smile, and order a Coke.)

They Ported The Smell

| Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Underaged

(I’m the dippy employee in this story. It’s December and the Christmas rush has started, so we’ve been very busy all day. It’s nearly the end of the day and I’m a bit tired. A young man, 16-17, approaches with a port gift set: three small bottles of port in a gift box.)

Me: “Hello there! Do you have any ID?”

Young Man: “No, I don’t.” *genuinely confused* “I didn’t think you needed it for this?”

His Girlfriend: “I have ID?”

Me: “Sorry, but I’d need his ID in order to sell him this—” *I look at the bottle and suddenly realize what he’s actually buying* “—shower gel set! Oh, I’m so, so sorry! I thought it was the port set. The bottles are the same colour and look very, very similar!”

Young Man: “So I don’t need ID?”

Me: “No, not at all. I do apologise. It’s been a very long day…”

(Everyone laughs. He pays for his SHOWER GEL gift set and leaves, chuckling with his girlfriend. The next customer makes a joke about him “making a clean getaway”. Groan!)