we find time to go out for a meal on a rare day off for the both of us, we arrive early enough to beat the lunch rush. The waitress is nowhere to be seen, so we wait and wait until i get fed up and wander around to find her chatting and laughing with a coworker in the back. She sits us in a tiny space and clumsily slams down the highchair.
Me: I think we know what we would like order, but can we get to refill drinks whilst we take a quick look.
Waitress: Err ok.
(She disappears and thankfully returns quickly with two glasses that again manages to slam down in front of us, knocking one across the table. Before i can say a word she disappears again and is nowhere to be found. Again i have to find her to order our food. When we eventually get our food i notice a problem.)
Me: Sorry i don’t mean to be difficult, but i orders carrots not green beans, a jacket potato not chips and my steak medium, this looks well done.
Waitress: Oh im i will get that sorted for you.
(Again in a near empty restaurant she disappears not to be seen again, my food eventually turns up, but by this point my wife has nearly finished hers, and our baby is growing restless. She puts the plate on the table then rushes off.)
Wife: Is it ok?
Me: Well the veg is cold and they have basically squashed the potato flat, the steak is as well done as before.
Wife: You can send it back.
Me: no, by the time they get that right, (baby) will be throwing a fit, i’ll put up with it.
(after i have eaten)
Waitress: (suddenly all smiles and happy, makes an effort to smile and wave at our baby) so how was your meal?
Me: Frankly not great, but we have run out of time, could we please have the bill.
Waitress: (grinning like a madman) Of course you can! I will be back as quickly as i can.
Waitress: Here you are sir, just let me know when you are ready.
Wife: are you going to tip her?
Me: hell no, even the little smile face she drew on the receipt wont help her now.
( I tip most meals even though its not a custom in the UK, she wasn’t getting anything.)