Unfiltered Story #49739

Alphen, Netherlands | Unfiltered

One thing you might think of when someone mentions Amsterdam is lots of bicycles. Since the Dutch are used to streets filled with bicycles, we associate Amsterdam especially with… bicycle theft!

During my years at a park in the province of South Holland, I used to have a colleague who lived in Amsterdam. Nice guy, but overall very relaxed, close to “don’t care”-attitude. One day, in the dressing room, I have this conversation with him:

Me: “Maybe I should wash my work clothes this week.”

Coworker: “I never do that.”

Me: “You never feel dirty in those then?”

Coworker: “No. I don’t even feel that dirty in the clothes I’m wearing now. And I’ve been wearing them for over 10 days already.”

Me: “What? Seriously?”

Coworker: “Yeah, well, unfortunately, I had no choice. My bike was stolen and my keyring with it, so I haven’t been able to enter my house for a while.”

Me: “Oh, man, that sucks.”

Coworker: “Yeah, it does.”

Me: “You’d wish they could put some kind of microchip in bicycles, so that only the rightful owner could use it.”

Coworker: “In that case, I’m quite sure I wouldn’t have been able to use that bike.”

Unfiltered Story #49742

Belize | Unfiltered

This occurs in a theatre on a cruise ship popular for its “Freestyle Cruising”. About three quarters of the population of the ship is watching a comedy act.

Comedian: “Why is it called /freestyle/ cruising if one glass of soda costs four dollars?”

Crowd: *riots*

Unfiltered Story #49740

UK | Unfiltered

(I have a bus card that I pay for monthly. I place it on a sensor next to the bus’s door and I normally get a green light, which means it’s recognised as valid. This time however, I get a red light and “BLOCKED” appears on the screen.)

Driver: It’s blocked.

Me: I saw… That’s weird, let me try again.

(I try once more and the same thing happens)

Driver: You can’t use it.

Me: (confused) What could have caused this?

Driver: No.

Me: What?

Driver: No.

Me: I’m asking what the cause may be.

Driver: No.

Me: What do you mean, no?

Driver: No.

(I did get him to listen eventually, after a few more Nos, and offer a possible explanation. I had to buy a ticket. For your curiosity, I discovered in the end that a replacement card had been sent to the wrong address, and I had a new one a few days later.)

Unfiltered Story #49741

USA | Unfiltered

Many years ago, I injured my thumb in a door. At the time, the injury wasn’t severe enough to see a doctor. A few years later, my thumb suddenly becomes swollen, stiff and extremely painful. I make an appointment to see a doctor because I’m worried I injured it again somehow. At the appointment, I explain the old injury while the doctor begins to wrench my thumb around. Being in immense pain, I begin to cry.

Doctor: There’s no crying in here! Stop crying!

Me: I’m sorry. It’s very painful when you move it like that.

Doctor: Well it shouldn’t be. I can’t feel anything wrong with your hand. I don’t even know why you’re here.

I’m shocked as I had explained my old injury to him already. After pleading, he finally sends me to get some x-rays. The following occurs after he has viewed the images.

Doctor: Have you just come back from camping?

Me: What? No!

Doctor: Well the swelling on your thumb is obviously a spider bite. It will go away soon.

I’m livid at this point. I obviously know the difference between a bug bite and a more serious issue. There is no sign of any sort of bite on my hand. As calmly as I can, I reiterate my past injury and he begrudgingly sends me for an MRI. After the scan, he comes back with this:

Doctor: There’s a small bone in your thumb that’s cracked. You don’t need that bone. Call to schedule and surgery and we’ll remove it. I’m sending someone in to give you a brace.

With that, he left without giving me any other information. A very nice man came in and helped me put on a hand brace. I got a second opinion that recommended I just wear the brace for a few weeks before jumping right into surgery. A few months later, my thumb felt much better. I still have pain sometimes, but it’s better than unnecessary surgery recommended by a rediculous doctor.

Unfiltered Story #49736

London, UK | Unfiltered

This is a very short excerpt from a rather lengthy and absolutely absurd conversation with a UK utility company that was recently fined £26m by the regulator for their prolific billing errors. They have been billing a random name for a nonexistent natural-gas supply..

Agent: I can’t find any details on our system unless you call [third party] and get some more information for me.

Me: OK, if I have to. What information will you need me to get from them?

Agent: I won’t tell you that.

Me: OK, this has gone far enough. Let me speak to your manager.

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