(I’m a grill cook at a fast food restaurant, but one day, I’m working on “table” — preparing sandwiches — while a new coworker is being trained on grill. The worker training him is deaf, but most agree that he is an excellent communicator, so his deafness is rarely an issue. I notice that the coworker is just staring blankly, so between orders, I help elaborate.)
Manager: “Don’t worry about that, stay on table for now.”
(Eventually the new co-worker does seem to get the basics. However, I notice that whenever he and I are on a shift together, he’s often standing around with his hands in his pockets. One day, I confront him:)
Me: “Dude, you gotta do something. The managers don’t like it when we stand around. Tell you what, why don’t you take grill for now, and I’ll go do the dishes.”
(I go to the back and start dishes. After only a few minutes, I hear his name being shouted repeatedly by one of our managers, a somewhat abrasive older woman. Right after that, she calls me back to grill. I ask what happened, and a co-worker says that he couldn’t stand that manager, so he was ignoring her and thus got sent home. I had the next day, Tuesday, off but he did not, so on Wednesday, I find out that the same manager had sent him home again for sticking his fingers in his mouth and claiming he had a toothache. Apparently the same manager was on duty that day too. He later put in his two weeks’ notice after only a month, but stopped working only a week later. Much later, he comes up in conversation with other coworkers, and I discover that he had been fired for asking two coworkers if they gave fellatio — one of whom was both a manager’s daughter and the younger sister of the deaf co-worker. AND only 17 at the time.)
(I’m working as a secretary for a company that provides housing and work opportunities to the intellectually disabled. I’m responsible for ensuring there are enough cleaning supplies for our cleaning crew, which consists of several of our clients and a coworker who acts as their job coach. I’m in the break room eating lunch while one of the cleaning crew members rinses out cans for recycling when my coworker storms in.)
Coworker: (Client), what did I tell you about the cleaning supplies? You tell me, not her!
Client: S-sorry ma’am…
Coworker: And (my name), you ask ME if we need cleaning supplies, no matter what the cleaning crew tells you, ALL RIGHT? I’m tired of running out of supplies!
(As soon as she leaves, the client and I exchange a look.)
Me: I ordered twice the usual amount this last time…
Client: She takes it all down to the thrift store to use there.
(Shortly after this, she yelled at one client for being in her way, and three or four others refused to come in and clean anymore, meaning that their service providers had to find extra staff to stay with them at home from then on. Somehow my coworker is still employed there.)
(Since I’ve gone to college, and my sister’s not far behind, my mom and her girlfriend are looking to move into a smaller house. Home for the break, I’ve gone with them to tour the two houses they really like. We’re at the first house.)
Mom: The carpet in here would have to go, but I think the sofa would fit right here. What do you think?
Me: All the electrical outlets look burnt.
Realtor: Oh, it’s got all new electrical! Everything’s been replaced!
Me: But look at the outlet covers: all of them have melted spots, and there’s smoke stains on the wall right above it.
Realtor: That won’t be a problem anymore with the new wiring, don’t you worry!
Me: They’d spend a couple hundred bucks replacing what we can’t see, and didn’t spend five more dollars to replace the covers? I don’t trust that.
(The Realtor kept babbling about the new electrical, I pointed out every single damaged outlet in the house (almost all of them), and it was the second house that we ended up buying.)
I work at the administration office of a cemetery. This happens on a Saturday where it is only me and another co-worker for the whole day. We had a call regarding a specific lot and I have trouble finding if there are any previous burials as I have receipts but no burial cards. My Co worker helps me look for cards and finally find them. As we walk to the front of the office we joke about being to find the previous burials.
Co-worker : you see, these two are dead and buried, we found them.
Me: (quite loudly) even if they were not dead when they were buried they sure are dead now.
Co-worker: that’s a funny one, though I hope no one heard you.
(I’m co-leading a team of volunteers working to tag any sharks landed in a local annual fishing competition. This is after we’ve tagged and released a particularly big (2.3 meters) shark, and are walking back to our gear. It should be noted that sharks bite each other during mating and this female was definitely old enough to mate.)
Me: *Talking about the cuts on the shark made by the fishing line* That shark was epic, but I wish the fishermen would land the sharks quicker so the line doesn’t cut them up like that.
Co-leader: Those cuts weren’t from the fishing line; those were definitely mating scars.
(This sparks an argument between us about whether the cause of the cuts were from fishing or mating. It’s only settled when we look at the pictures and discover that we were talking about two completely different locations on the shark, and that, in fact, we were both right.)
Me: You know in that situation normal people would have just gotten into a shouting match until one of them storms off in a huff. Instead, we both looked for evidence to support our arguments, and ultimately came to a sensible conclusion. But then again, I suppose we’re not normal people.
Co-leader: Ha ha. Yeah, I guess not.
Me: Nope, we’re scientists!