(I am the customer here. I am visiting one of those cheap shops who sell factory-made baking goods like pretzels, pre-made sandwiches and so on. I notice something and mention it to the cashier.)
Me: Hey, I just noticed that your selection is almost the same as [other shop down at the main bus station]’s.
Cashier: That must be coincidence! We have nothing to do with them!
(I later found out that they are in fact being supplied by the same company.)
(My office just moved to a new building. All of the offices, conference rooms, etc. are numbered sequentially on a plaque outside the door. My boss and I are working on setting up a meeting in one of the new team rooms.)
Me: I reserved Team Room 511 for the meeting on Thursday.
Boss: How to you know what room number it is?
Me: I looked outside the door.
Boss: *realizes how stupid his question was and starts laughing* Crap . . .you got me.
(My boss and co-worker are discussing a new project for a company that produces a chili pepper infused maple syrup. Neither my boss nor co-worker like spicy foods, and without having tried the product, have already turned their noses up to it. My co-worker loudly declares this lovely attempt at simile.)
Co-worker: “Thats like having peanut butter and….”
(At this point there is a prolonged silence. You can hear the gears turning in my co-workers head, but he is clearly drawing a blank)
Co-worker: “strawberry sauce.”
Me: “[co-worker] you just described a PB&J”
In addition to going to college part-time, I work four different part-time jobs. I don’t particularly like talking on the phone, and thus, I can mix up my words. I’ve mixed up these greetings, i.e. saying the fast food greeting on the credit union phone. Sometimes I’ve stopped myself in the middle of these greetings, paused, and corrected myself.
Fast Food Drive-thru: Welcome to [Restaurant], my name is [Name], would you like to try our [New/promotional food/drink item] today?
Fast Food phone: [Town] [Restaurant], how may I help you?
Credit Union: [Town, Credit Union], my name is [Name], can I help you?
Insurance Agency: Good afternoon, [Insurance Agency].
Town Hall: [Department]’s Office, can I help you?
I’d like to say these are isolated incidents, but unfortunately, they happen more than I would like to admit. Fortunately, the customer on the other end usually isn’t paying attention to my greeting, but once in a while they will chuckle or ask, “what?” My mother was also a victim of my mistake once, and used to my greeting when calling the correct place of employment, thought nothing of it at the time until I got home.
It was 1985. I went into a fast-food taco joint to buy the cheer team tacos, burritos, etc. I ordered 12 tacos, 12 burritos, 12 tostadas and 12 chicken burritos. The girl behind the counter told me she couldn’t do that because her chart only went up to ten. I told her to put ten of each, then two of each in the order. She did not understand what I meant and went to go get the manager. After about ten minutes of explaining it to the manager – it finally got done.