Unfiltered Story #50153

USA | Unfiltered

(On a whim, I decide to take my sister out to dinner as a show of good “sibling” relationships. We are both twins. My sister is very open and outgoing while I am very quiet out of habit and usually letting my sister speak for me. My sister is roughly 5’9 while I am 6’6. We are both high school juniors.)

Waiter: Hi there! My name is [name] and I’ll be serving you today, what’s on your guy’s mind today?

Sister: Hey there! We would like a—

Waiter: *cutting her off* Yes, and what would YOU like? *gestures to me and winks seductively*

Me: *put off my this waiter’s rudeness towards my sister* Um… *gestures to my sister*

Sister: Yeah, we would like a [order #1] for me and a [order #2] for him.

Waiter: *condescendingly* I’m sorry sweetie, but those are only available AFTER 3 p.m..

Sister: Uh, we never heard of that rule for a traditional restaurant before, but I guess we’ll take [order #3] instead, for the both of us?

Waiter: Fine, follow me to be seated.

Me: *quietly* Do you actually think that she thinks that you are my girlfriend?

Sister: Yeah, I mean, it’s obvious when you think about it. How about we mess with her today? I mean, that was a bull move back there about the food, and she’s kind of rude.

(For the rest of the visit, we move our seats to be right next to each other and start holding hands and resting our heads on each other’s shoulders and the likes of that. Each time, the waiter sees us, his face grows a little redder. Meanwhile, only my part of the meal has been delivered, the waiter “accidentally” pours water onto my sister, and teats her as if she was invisible, all the while she is winking seductively at me and positioning herself so that we can see her cleavage. We decide not to leave a tip.)

Waiter: Oh, no tip? I mean, I devoted all of my time into you guys!

Me: *standing up* No, you didn’t.

(I should also mention that my voice is incredibly deep and I am almost 200 lbs of pure muscle from swimming and football)

Me: You spent all of your efforts on ME alone. I don’t care who you think you are, but you treat me or my sister like that again, you’re going to have a problem.

Waiter: *grows red and sputters before sulking away with our money*

Sister: Okay, that’s a bit much, but lets leave, now. Please?

Me: *gestures okay, fine*

(As we head out into the parking lot, a flustered and rather overweight man runs up to us.)

Man: Uh sir? *points to me* I have a few questions for you.

Sister: If this involves us, let’s just say that our service was terrible. Our sever treated me like I was nonexistent, and she kept putting her cleavage in our face.

Man: *wipes forehead* Ah well, that’s partly the reason I’m here. I’ve seen her do that before, but never managed to catch up to them. *gestures at himself* Yeah, she came in, really steamed and started to call the cops. When I asked her why, she started screaming about you guys.

Sister: I think the weirdest part about today was that we’re both minors, and she looked lie she was like, 25 or something.

Man: Yeah, she managed to dial the fuzz, but I took that phone away from her, and reported her a**. Sorry, I shouldn’t curse, but being the manager as well as being overweight tends to make people not listen to me.

(In the end, the waiter was arrested for pedophilia, fired, and was unable to apply for work anywhere else due to having a criminal record. We still see her sometimes in the restaurant, picking food out of the back of the building.)

Unfiltered Story #50152

UK | Unfiltered

I hear two people talking about The Voice in the adjacent office.

Person: Wait, WILL I AM is black?

Unfiltered Story #50150

Saskatchewan, Canada | Unfiltered

(I just have my son via C-section, and he needs to be put under the UV light to get his jaundice under control. My partner had to leave to update his insurance information, so for the first time ever, I’m alone with my son. After a half hour under the lamp, the high temperature alarm is going off in isolette. I page the nurse.)

Me: The high temperature alarm is going off.

Nurse: Oh, that happens sometimes. *turns alarm off and leaves the room*.

(This concerns me, but I decide to just keep an eye on it, as it could be a one-off problem. Less than 5 minutes later, the alarm is going off again. I page the nurse again.)

Nurse: Oh, well, this units temperature gauge must be malfunctioning, it doesn’t feel hot in there. Just leave it if it beeps again. *she leaves before I can object*

(Less than 5 minutes, again, the alarm goes off. I page the nurse one more time)

Nurse: Look, I have other babies to handle, I can’t come in here to stop the beeping every time.

Me: No, either get me a unit with a proper temperature gauge, that is accurate, or fix the overheating problem. I’m not letting you cook my son!

Nurse: Look, you’re in the regular rooms. None of the nurses deal with the isolette, ever, so no one on this floor can help you. If you continue to be demanding, I will make them discharge you without your son.

(Since this is my first child, I didn’t know if the threat was real or even feasible, so I stay quiet this time. Instead, I call my cousin, who normally works in the NICU unit, to come help me. She takes one look at the isolette, and realizes the heater from the lamp AND the isolette is on, making it dangerously hot in the unit. She turns off the isolette heater and then goes to the nurses station. I couldn’t tell you what was said, but I do know that for the rest of the 3 day stay, that nurse never came into, or by, my room again)

Unfiltered Story #50149

CT | Unfiltered

(I am female and my dinner companion is male. It’s pretty clear from our interactions that we are having a lot of fun together and that we know each other quite well. The restaurant is fairly upscale. This happens about midway through dinner, when he has gone to the restroom.)

Server: “Would you like another drink, ma’am?”

Me: “Sure, another of the same would be great, thank you.”

Server: “And do you know if your husband would like another?”

Me: “My…oh, we’re not married.”

Server: “You’re not? But you’re both wearing wedding rings.”

Me: “Well, we ARE both married. But we’re not married to each other.”

Server: “Oh um, I see….” (She walks away.)

(He comes back from the bathroom.

Me: “Guess what? The server thought we were married!”

Him: “Oh really? That’s funny.”

(We continue talking and laughing about whatever we were talking about. After a few moments the server comes back with the manager.”

Manager: “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Manager: “My employee here has informed me that you told her you are having an illicit affair. This is a decent place, we can’t have that here.”

Server: “You should be ashamed of yourselves, out on a date in public, cheating on your spouses, flirting like that.”

Us: (blink blink blink)

Me: “This is my brother.”

(Pause)

Manager: (to server) “You said she said they were having an affair.”

Me: “I did not, I just said we weren’t married to each other. I didn’t think I needed to explain it!”

Him: “We’re not flirting, we’re just talking! What is wrong with you?!”

Server: “You’re lying! You’re not brother and sister, you don’t look anything alike! You’re just trying to cover up now!”

Me: “Our mother would probably disagree with you. I look like her and he looks like our dad. Here, bring up Mom’s number on your phone.”

(We both pull up the entry “Mom” in our phones and show her that the number is the same.)

Server: “But…but you’re having so much fun together! Brothers and sisters don’t do that!”

Him: “Well I’m sorry for you that that’s been your sibling experience but we happen to like each other.”

Manager: “I’m so sorry about this.”

(We had a different server for the rest of the meal.)

Unfiltered Story #50148

Lethbridge County, AB | Unfiltered

It’s my new coworkers first day and he won’t stop talking so I sent him on a snipe hunt. I should mention at the time of this story I did not know a sky hook is a real thing.

Boss: Where is the new guy?

Me: Oh, he wouldn’t shut up so I sent him to grab a sky hook. *Give a s*** eating grin* He is going to be a while.

Boss: At least it’s a slow day.