Immaculate Misconception, Part 2

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’m getting prepped for a routine surgery and the nurse is asking the usual questions: “Do you drink, smoke, etc.” It’s all going well until this…)

Nurse: “We need to do a pregnancy test, or you can sign a waver if you think you’re not pregnant.”

Me: “Um… I’m not pregnant.”

Nurse: “Well, we either need to do the test or you can sign the waver.”

Me: “Oh, fine. I’ll sign the waver.”

Nurse: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Nurse: “So you’re sure?”

Me: “I have no sex life.”

Nurse: “Well, you either need to do the pregnancy test or sign the waver.”

Me: “Look, I’m on birth control for endometriosis. I’m not pregnant. Give me the waver.”

Nurse: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant? We need to do the test.”

Me: “I. Am. On. Birth. Control.”

Nurse: “So you’ll do the test?”

Me: “NO! I’m not pregnant, unless I’m carrying the Son of God! I’m the Virgin Mary!”

Nurse: “So… you’ll take the test?”

Me: “Give me the waver. ”

Nurse: *hands me the paper reluctantly* “All right, but if you’re pregnant and something happens, I did warn you!”

Immaculate Misconception

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