Not A Baby, Or Even A Maybe, Part 2

| Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month, Top

(It is after 11pm, the store has closed, and we are putting back books customers have left out. As I’m putting a book away, I get a sudden, intense pain in my back. Within five minutes, it is the worst pain I’ve ever had, and I can’t stand up anymore. I curl up in the aisle, and radio for help. My coworker comes over.)

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I need help. Something’s wrong!”

Coworker: *whispering* “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “No. It’s my back. I can’t stand.”

Coworker: “It sounds like you’re pregnant.”

Me: “I’m not! Please, I’m in so much pain. I need someone to put me in a cab to the hospital.”

Coworker: “You know, sometimes girls get sudden pains, and they don’t THINK they’re pregnant, but it turns out they actually are.”

Me: “Go. Get. Help!”

Coworker: *leaves and comes back with the store manager*

Manager: “He says you’re having ‘pregnancy pains?'”

Me: “NO. My back. I need to go to the hospital.”

Manager: “Oh! Okay, I’ll call someone.”

(By law, my store must call an ambulance. While we’re waiting, my manager asks me a bunch of questions about my pain, and tells me he thinks I have a kidney stone, which he’s had himself. The EMTs come in several minutes later.)

EMT: *looks at me* “You’re not pregnant.”

Coworker: “I think she’s in labor!”

Manager: “If you say ‘pregnant’ one more time, I’m firing you!”

Coworker: “But she is!”

(I went to the hospital. Turns out, I did have kidney stones. But when I came back…)

Coworker: “How’s the baby?”

Related:
Not A Baby, Or Even A Maybe

1 Thumbs
1,289
VOTES
COMMENTS

Similar Stories

Not Quite Registering (A customer pays with a fifty dollar bill. Spotting it, the pharmacist on duty grabs his wallet...
Just Another Day At The (Microsoft) Office Employee: "Hi, thank you for calling [bank] Online Banking Technical Support. How can I...
No Need To Get Crabby (I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. Our most popular item by far is snow crab...

Comments

comments