Would You Like Eyes With That

, | Austin, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m the only customer eating at a fast food restaurant. One of the workers comes over and stands about six feet away from my table and stares at me. He stands there for thirty seconds before I speak up.)

Me: “Yes? Did you want something?”

Worker: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you staring at me?”

Worker: “Because I like watching you eat…”

Meaner Than A Junkyard Dog

| Omaha, NE, USA | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Pets & Animals, Top

(I have a medical alert service dog. I’ve just walked into a shop that sells, among other things, novelty pillows, I am pounced upon by an employee.)

Employee: “You can’t bring a dog in here!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. This is my service dog.”

Employee: “I can see that, but you really can’t bring it in here! We sell pillows!”

Me: *confused* “Well, federal law—”

Employee: “I KNOW! I know about federal law, but your dog could get allergens on the pillows! You could kill someone, and I shouldn’t have to ask you to do the right thing!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I have this dog so that I can stay safe. He’s very clean, so I don’t think they’ll be any problem—”

Employee: “No! No! Absolutely not! You can’t bring him anywhere near these pillows! He’s a dog, and you’re a heartless woman who only cares for herself!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m disabled. I really need this dog, I’m protected by law, and I don’t see—”

Employee: “NO, I can’t let you stay in here! If you’re not going to do the right thing on your own then I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”

Me: “Can I see a manager, or—”

Employee: “LEAVE!”

(I left. It just wasn’t worth it!)

An Acute Lack Of Knowledge

| Gilbert, AZ, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

(This happens after work. A few coworkers and I are talking.)

Coworker #1: “Can you name all fifty of the United States?”

Me: “Alabama, Alaska—”

Coworker #1: “No, let’s see if [Coworker #2] can figure this out.”

Coworker 2: “Uh…Canada!”

(Coworker #1 and I start laughing.)

Coworker 2: “No, no, no! I didn’t mean that! I’ve just never been very good at geometry!”

A Poke Is Not A Joke

, | Alberta, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body, Physical, Theme Of The Month

(It is a pretty slow night, so we are hanging out with our boss by his desk, just having a good time. He is a heavy-set and diabetic. He has just finished giving himself an insulin injection. Without warning, he stabs my coworker with his used needle.)

Coworker: “Ouch!”

Boss: *laughs hysterically*

Me: “Did you just stab him with your dirty needle!?”

Boss: *still laughing* “Yeah, you want some too?” *tries to stab me*

Me: “Uh, no…” *grabs coworker* “…I think we need to get back to work.”

Boss: “That’s what you get for standing around!”

Doesn’t Take Much To Weed Out The Bad Ones

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top

(My register has turned up $40 short. The only people who have touched the register all day are my manager and me. I have no idea how it happened, because I am very careful with money. I get written up for it, though. The next day, I’m talking to one of my coworkers. Note that I’ve told her nothing about the $40.)

Me: “Does [manager] just hate me, or is she always in a crappy mood?”

Coworker: “Yesterday? Oh, she was just in a really b***y mood because she wanted to buy some weed from me, but couldn’t get the money.”

Me: “Wow, that’s classy.”

Coworker: “Yeah, she came up with the money last minute, though. I dunno where she got it.”

Me: *getting suspicious* “How much did she buy…?”

Coworker: “Forty bucks worth.”

Me: “…I don’t think I want to work here anymore.”

(Soon after that, the manager started cutting my hours and accusing me of things I didn’t do. Thankfully, I eventually quit!)