Typecasting Is A Challenge

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Job Seekers

(Trying to ease back into the job market after having a baby, I apply at a temporary office agency. I give them all the pertinent information, including a certificate for typing 80 words per minute. I am subsequently sent on a number of short-term file clerk jobs. A few months later:)

Me: “Much as I appreciate these jobs you’ve been sending me on, I certainly wouldn’t mind something a bit more challenging.”

Supervisor: “I’m afraid it’s a bit difficult to find placements for someone without typing skills.”

Me: “…”

A Different Kind Of Netflix And Chill

| NY, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Movies & TV

(We are about to launch a new product, and a lot of work is expected to come in throughout the weekend. I volunteer to work the morning shift on Saturday. After it ends, I leave to meet some friends.)

Friend: “So how was work? It’s annoying that they made you come in on the weekend.”

Me: “Almost nothing was ready, so I just got paid time and a half to watch Netflix on my phone for seven hours. With free lunch.”

Friend: “I need to apply for that job.”

Microwave Major Problems

| OH, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

(Coworker #1 has placed leftovers in the microwave, set a timer, and then walked away. About thirty seconds later, another coworker and I hear a loud popping sound coming from the break room.)

Coworker #1: “OH, MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS MICROWAVE?!”

Me: “You didn’t watch your food, so it blew up while it was cooking.”

Coworker #1: “No. This microwave is a pig hole. It’s because you didn’t clean up when you heated your lasagna the other day. OH, MY GOD! THIS SMELLS SO BAD! What did you cook in there?”

Coworker #2: “Nothing. Your chicken teriyaki blew up in the microwave. That smell is burnt teriyaki sauce, and that ‘stuff’ all over the microwave is tiny chicken pieces and sauce.”

Coworker #1: *to me* “I’m going to tell [Boss] about this! You need to be a team player and do your share around the office.”

(She did “tell” on me to my boss, who ended up cleaning the mess himself because she refused.)