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Making An Off Statement

| WA, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(This happened towards the end of my shift, when I was carrying a till towards the office. A coworker starts walking next to me.)

Coworker: “Getting off?”

Me: “Nope! Just leaving.”

Coworker: *pauses a moment before getting what I said, then starts laughing* “That was a loaded question, wasn’t it?”

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Show This Employee The Pink Slip

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bigotry, Employees, Popular, Technology

(I’m shopping with my friend for a new laptop. We are both female. My friend goes up to a salesman.)

Friend: “Hi. We are here to shop for a new laptop. Wh—”

(The salesman cuts her off, and raises his hand, making a sign to follow him. We do, thinking he’ll listen to the actual question once in the correct department, or let us look around first, but he proceeds to show us one laptop specifically.)

Salesman: “Here, a cute little laptop. It’s all pink with a beautiful little webcam!”

(My friend and I stare at each other in disbelief.)

Me: “Nope!”

(We proceed to walk away fast, but can still hear him:)

Salesman: “But it’s a great little WEBCAM! And it’s PINK! PIIIIINK!”

(We ended up shopping online.)

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Eating At The Appointed Time

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It is a Friday afternoon at roughly 1:30 pm. My phone rings and I answer, but I cannot understand what the woman on the other end has just said.)

Me: “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

Receptionist: *garbled* “This is [Name] from [Doctor’s Office]. Are you [My Name]?”

(This is proceeded by crunching noises and I realize she’s eating. While on the phone with me.)

Me: “Oh, yes, this is she.”

Receptionist: *still garbled as she takes another bite* “You have an appointment on—” *pause to chew* “–Monday.”

Me: “Yes, I am aware.”

Receptionist: *between crunching of what must be chips* “At 2:45 pm.”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

(There is a minute’s pause as she goes through another chew and swallow cycle of her food.)

Receptionist: “So, are you showing up or what?”

Me: *taken aback* “Well, yes. I will be there Monday.”

Receptionist: *crunching on more chips* “Good. Bye.” *hangs up*

(I could not believe she was eating while on the phone. I guess even if you’re working through your lunch hour you can take a minute to stop eating to confirm an appointment!)

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Getting Cash Back Flack

| Akron, OH, USA | Akron, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees

(My friend and I decided to buy another friend of ours a gift card for his birthday. We go to the grocery store where my first friend works so he can pick up some groceries as well. We do a split tender transaction for the gift card, my friend having only his card with him. I’m also shuttling him around so he needed to give me gas money.)

Employee: “That’ll be $50.”

Me: “We’re doing split tender.” *looks in wallet* “Sorry, I don’t have a five.” *gives her $30*

Employee: *looks a little unsure* “Okay, so it’s $25.”

(The employee types it in before my friend swipes his card and puts in cash back. The employee sees that he requested cash back and now looks very confused.)

Employee: “So wait, you’re getting cash back?”

Friend: “Yes, I need to give her gas money.”

Employee: “Uhh…” *presses the help button*

(We apologize to the people waiting behind us that this’ll take a while, as the line has started to become backed up. While we wait for someone my friend and I whisper to each other.)

Friend: “It’s not that hard; she just needs to give you $5 and me $10.”

Me: “Yeah, but split transactions can be confusing for some people.”

(After a while, another employee comes over and talks to the woman who called him over. After about a minute, the called over employee walks away and the woman FINALLY gives us the $15 after we told them how much we were owed.)

Employee: “Sorry, I had to make sure my till wouldn’t be short after this.”

(We sigh and walk away.)

Friend: “Sorry about that. Every time go through her line, she always seems to have a bad attitude and bags too quickly. She makes people wait because of this.”

Me: “Is that why you were bagging your groceries as if you were on shift?”

Friend: “Yeah…”

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Voicefail, Part 2

| Pueblo, CO, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(My aunt is trying to quit smoking. In the process, she has been trying to get in touch with a local free help quit line. When the help line tries to get back to her, they have to leave a voicemail.)

Aunt’s Voicemail Greeting: “Hi, you have reached [Full Name]. My phone is either off, dead, or I am in school. If you’ll leave your name, number, and a brief message I’ll get back to you. Thank you.”

Help Line Trainee: “Hi, this is [Trainee], trying to get in touch with a [Full Name].”

(There is a brief pause.)

Help Line Trainee: “Hello, [Aunt], this is [Trainee] from [Help Quit Program]. I am returning your call regarding the services we offer.”

(Another pause. This time there is some background noise: a person coughing, some papers rustling.)

Help Line Trainee: “I’m sorry, if someone is there I do apologize but I can’t seem to hear you.” *yet another pause* “There is no response so I’m going to have to terminate this call. If you can hear me please call us back.”

(There is a sound that sounds like she is gonna hang up but right before the message actually ends I can hear her say:)

Help Line Trainee: “D*** it! Again!”

Related:
Voicefail