That Last Observation Takes The Cake

| CA, USA | Bosses & Owners

(I work as a cake decorator in a grocery store bakery. Since I can’t see the displays without walking out onto the floor it can be difficult to keep everything full. At the time I have five minutes left in my shift and about fifteen minutes worth of cleaning left to do when the store manager calls me out onto the floor to look at the cake displays. My mind goes straight into panic mode, assuming something is terribly wrong and I’m going to have to stay late to fix it.)

Manager: “I want you to tell me what you see.”

Me: “Several of the jumbo cupcakes are low, there’s only one of those cakes left, that spot’s also almost empty…” *I point out a couple more almost empty spots, but fortunately nothing is completely empty*

Manager: “Oh, yeah? I see lots of beautiful colors.”

Me: *in relief* “Oh, really?”

Manager: “Yeah, they’re all very eye catching. Good critical eye on your part, though.”

(I appreciated the compliment, but it really wasn’t worth the near heart attack he gave me while giving it!)

Bringing In Lots Of Change

| Wallingford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I’m a cashier at a sandwich shop, and a kid no older than twelve approaches the counter with a large order of sandwiches. He looks a little sheepish.)

Kid: “So… um… how much is that?”

Me: “[Total over thirty dollars].”

Kid: “Yeah… so… I’m so sorry but…”

(The kid then holds up a large gallon plastic baggy of quarters, dimes, and nickels.)

Kid: “…this is the only money I have.”

Me: *laughs* “No problem. I’m sure you’ve got plenty.”

(The kid is kind enough to help me count by piling dimes up into dollar stacks as I count them, and he’s got more than enough, so he adds some chips and drinks to his order. The whole process takes a while, but he’s the only customer cashing out at the moment and I am in no rush. As I’m patiently counting out another stack of dimes and nickels for the additional food, my boss peeks over to my register and sees my mountain of coins, and he is red with laughter.)

Manager: “Haha! I can’t believe it! You had to count all of that?”

Me: *smiling evilly* “That’s nothing. You’re the one balancing out my drawer before I leave!”

(The look of horror on my boss’s face was priceless.)

Tanking By The End Of Your Shift

| New Castle, DE, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Health & Body

(I tend to be one of those workers who will come in despite being sick and will work until I almost pass out or become physically ill. This story happens on one of those days. I happen across a toy train car that’s meant for transporting sea creatures, but the plastic animals barely move with how small the tanks are.)

Me: “But- but the tanks are too small for the critters.”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: *turning and gesturing at them with the toy, getting more distressed* “The tanks are too small for the critters.”

Coworker: “They aren’t real, you know.”

Me: “I know, but the tanks are too small for the critters.”

Coworker: “How about you just… go see [Manager]? Let her know how you’re doing.”

(I go and relay what happened to my manager, who stares at me for a long moment afterwards.)

Manager: “Well, do you think you can hang in there until [Coworker] comes in? If you can make it until then you can go ahead home, hun. Get some rest and get better.”

Me: “What about the critters?”

Manager: “The critters will be fine, [My Name].”

Me: “But… the tanks are too small.”

Manager: “Go take your fifteen.”

(I managed to make it until my coworker made it in, and ended up going home early. After some cold/flu medicine and some rest, I was no longer worried about the plastic sea creatures having room in their tanks.)

Children’s Options Are Not On The Menu

| IL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m out to lunch with my parents and my younger sister. At the time this story takes place, I’ve recently graduated college. I’ve been told for years that I have a very young face, and am still asked what high school I attend. I usually laugh it off. Note: my sister is still young enough at this point to need a kids’ menu.)

Hostess: “So, that’ll be four for lunch with one kids’ menu.” *looks at me* “Oh, would you like one too?”

(I assume she is joking, as she looks to be about my age, and start laughing.)

Hostess: *very seriously* “So, that’s a no on the kids’ menu, then?”

(I stop laughing and realize that not only was she serious, she now looks very offended by my response to her question.)

Me: “Ah… no. No kids’ menu. I’m 23.”

Hostess: “Oh… OH!! Well… uh… here comes your server. Have a good day!” *ducks behind the counter*

(My parents managed to make it to our table before they burst out laughing.)

Junk Mail Isn’t The Only Junk In The Office

| Singapore | New Hires, Technology

(I have a new colleague. From her first day, I had instructed her to check her predecessor’s email daily as the company’s general email is linked to that account. She apparently checks, but no emails are forwarded to the rest of the staff for our action. I go to her desk to find out why.)

Me: “[Colleague], may I see what new emails have come in?”

Colleague: “No new emails have come in since August. I’ve been checking.”

Me: “That’s more than a month ago. You should have raised this.”

Colleague: “But this is previous staff. They should not have emails coming in.”

Me: “Previous staff or not, their account is still active. Furthermore, the company’s general email is linked to this particular account and should have even junk mail coming in. You get junk mail, don’t you? So this account should get some junk mails at least.”

Colleague: “How should I know? I’m not IT-savvy.”

(I walked away before I gave in to temptation to say something truly nasty and unprofessional.)