Working The Twilight Shift, Part 2

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Movies & TV

(My boss, a coworker, and I are walking toward the entrance of the building and my boss has commented that it’s too hot out. My boss and I were born and raised in northern states while our coworker is a native of AZ.)

Boss: “58 degrees is the perfect temperature for me.”

Coworker: “That’s freezing!”

Me: “[Boss] runs hot all the time. He used to go most of the winter in [Previous City we lived in with plenty of snow and cold weather] without a coat.”

Coworker: “Yeah, my boyfriend is like a werewolf, too. Sharing the bed with him is like sleeping next to a furnace.”

Me: “Wait… Did you just make a Twilight reference?”

Coworker: *laughing* “Yeah, I guess I did.”

Boss: “D*** you both for making me learn something about Twilight!”

Working The Twilight Shift


How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 12

, | Canada | Liars/Scammers

(I work in the office of a small non-profit. We have had a number of “toner pirates” (people who try to scam you into buying their overpriced toner you already get as part of your contract with the photocopier manufacturer) call the office lately. This call happens after I’ve already dealt with several of these scams.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Oh, hi, I was hoping to speak to the person in charge of ordering toner?”

Me: *immediately suspicious* “That would be me.”

Caller: “Well, if you can just give me the make and model of your photocopier, I have some great sales on toner to offer you.”

Me: “Thanks, but I’m not interested.”

Caller: “You really can’t pass this up. I just need to know your model number so…”

Me: “I’m sorry, where did you say you were calling from again?”

Caller: “Uhh…” *mumbles something* “You really need to—”

Me: *cuts him off* “I’m sorry, we only deal with [Manufacturer]. Goodbye.”

(I hang up the phone, but 30 seconds later it rings again.)

Me: “Thanks for calling—”

Caller: *interrupting* “How DARE you hang up on me! That was extremely rude and I demand to speak to your supervisor, you stupid idiot!”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Excuse me?”

Caller: “You heard me, you stupid idiot. I need to speak to your supervisor!”

Me: “You’re calling me a stupid idiot? I think we’re done here.” *hangs up*

(My “supervisor” and I had a good laugh about how I could have possibly turned down an opportunity to do business with a scammer who called me a stupid idiot!)

How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 11
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 10
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 9


The Magic Of Technology

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Popular, Technology

(My dad works on phone systems, and I sometimes go on calls with him on weekends. This call is late at night, so only a night crew is on with a receptionist. The phone system won’t take or place any calls. The receptionist has led us back to the “Phone Room” which had a piece of equipment that was taller than my dad.)

Dad: “Is everyone off the phones?”

Receptionist: “Yes. The system won’t let them be on the phone anyway.”

Dad: “Good. We need to shut the system down – like SO!”

(He makes hand gestures to go with it and the whole system goes dark. Apparently without him ever even touching the system.)

Dad: “We give this about 60 seconds now.”

(The receptionist and I stand there just staring, while my dad looks at his watch.)

Dad: “Now, to bring it back up – Alacazam!”

(Again, with hand gestures, and still apparently not having touched it, the system starts to boot up! The receptionist and I are now standing there with our mouths wide open. Dad gets this little grin and points down…)

Dad: “The switch is down by my foot.”