Their Lack Of Professionalism Is Jaw Dropping

| Hinton, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am 11 and need braces. My mom has taken me to the local orthodontist for a consultation. My mom’s face is slightly crooked, but most people don’t notice it. Just a quirk she was born with.)

Orthodontist: *to my mom* “What the h*** happened to you?!”

Mom: *very confused and taken aback* “What?”

Orthodontist: “Your face is crooked! What is wrong with you? You need to fix your face!”

Me: “There’s nothing wrong with her face! Her jaw is just a little less symmetrical than most.”

Orthodontist: *to me* “You’re lucky you didn’t get that messed up jaw. Talk about a freak show!”

(My mom was in shock and near tears at this point, so I got up and led her out of the office telling the orthodontist we’d be going elsewhere. We ended up finding an orthodontist in a city a three-hour drive away, but the transit was worth it to have a respectful and thorough professional work on my teeth!)

Maid Of Scary Stuff

, | Charlotte, NC, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

(It’s Halloween night, a while ago before everyone had cell phones. I’m in college and my friends and I have been to an off campus Halloween Party. Being under 21, I am sober and the designated driver. Halfway back to the dorm, my car breaks down. Luckily we are able to pull the car into the parking lot of a popular DIY hardware and building supply store. We decide to see if we could use their phone. The lights are on, but the store closed about 10 minutes ago. Since we were in a bind, I knock lightly on the glass doors.)

Me: “Hello?”

(There are several men inside. All of them fit and strong, like what you’d expect from an employee of a building supply store. They clearly make eye contact, but they aren’t coming to help. Finally one man gets close enough to the glass doors that I feel like he could hear me.)

Me: “My car broke down; could I just step inside and use your phone, please?”

(He looks at me oddly and scurries to the back of the store, out of sight. I assume he has gone to get the keys to the front doors. My friends and I feel relieved and we wait patiently. A long time passes and we start to feel uneasy. No one has returned to the front. Just when I’m considering WALKING the five or so miles to the university in my high heels, a police car pulls into the parking lot. We are all relieved that we might finally get some help. The cop pulls up to our location.)

Me: “Hello, sir! I wonder if you could help us out! My car broke down. I have AAA; I just need to borrow a phone so I can call them.”

Cop: “How long have you been out here?”

Me: “About 45 minutes. We tried to flag down the guys inside the store, but they never came back.”

(The cop starts cracking up. My friends and I are totally taken aback.)

Cop: “I got a call from the guys in the store…”

Me: “Oh, I guess they just didn’t feel comfortable letting us in after closing.”

Cop: “They said there were some scary people trying to get into the store…”

(I look at my friends. We are all 20 years old, dressed as a sexy angel, a sexy witch, and I was dressed as a sexy French maid.)

Me: “Three hopeless, sexy, college chicks in need of help is… scary?”

Cop: “I think they were intimidated. You should probably get used to that. Now, let’s see if I can help you ladies out.”

Pounding In The Awkwardness

| Westchester County, NY, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I’m a young female. My colleague is a much older male. He makes a teasing, but harmless comment. He then turns to fist bump me, letting me know he was just kidding)

Me: “Yeah, that’s right. You better pound me!” *a split second later, sheepishly* “Erm… that didn’t sound so good, did it…”

Giving Him Pregnant Pause

| Greensboro, NC, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m a guy and my best friend since kindergarten is a girl. At the time this happened, my best friend is pregnant with my Godson. We’re out at a restaurant when this happens.)

Waiter: *hands me the check* “I’ll pick this up when you’re ready.”

Me: “Oh. We wanted separate checks.”

(The waiter looks over at my VERY pregnant best friend, and then glares at me. My best friend is trying her best not to laugh. He brings the separate checks, but glares at me all the while and whispers something to the hostess as we walk out. My best friend and I nearly fell over as soon as we walked out!)

Ice From The North

| GA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Geography

(I am from California, attending a conference in Georgia, and friends take me out for lunch…)

Me: *to waitress* “Is your ice tea fresh-brewed or instant?”

Waitress: “Oh, we make it fresh every morning!”

Me: “Great! I’d like an ice tea then, no sugar, no lemon.”

Waitress: *deer-in-the-headlights look on her face* “I’m sorry; they put in sugar and lemon when they make it. I’ve never had anybody ask for it without.”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, we Northerners are weird. Okay, then, bring me a cup of hot tea and a glass of ice.”

Waitress: “Okay! That’ll work. And I’ll remember that for the next time I get a weird Northerner in here!”