Unable To Work In A Crunch

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It was a particularly cold day and I had a half hour to spare so I decided to treat myself to a hot chocolate. At the register, there was a sign behind the person taking orders advertising a new “Cookie Cream Crunch” range, with the option of a hot chocolate, a latte, or a frappe.)

Me: “Hi, can I please grab a small Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate?”

Cashier: “Sure. So, that’s one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte?”

Me: “…and a little whipped cream on top. Oh, no, sorry. I wanted the hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Okay, one small hot chocolate?”

Me: “No, a Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, no worries.”

(She spends a little while typing in buttons.)

Cashier: “So one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte with a little bit of whipped cream?”

Me: “Sorry, no. I wanted the Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Right, of course, sorry. $4.20, please.”

(I received a plain hot chocolate.)

Your Slacking Is Lacking

, | New Haven CT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I work at a sandwich shop for my very first job ever, and this boss is easily the worst boss I’ll ever have. I injure my wrist a few months into working there, and I approach her with a doctor’s note.)

Boss: “This note is really vague. Are you able to work or not?”

Me: “It just says that I can’t lift anything heavy or use certain repetitive movements with my right wrist, and that a wrap bandage helps me support the injury. It’s only a strain, so I just need time to rest it, nothing serious. But I work with [Coworker] every night, and he and I can figure out how to keep the work fair.”

Boss: “I better not see you slacking off!”

(Usually my boss would leave me and Coworker alone to manage the shop, but tonight she decides to loom over me every minute of the night and criticize.)

Boss: “Why aren’t you slicing tomatoes from the prep list?”

Me: “The tomato slicer is a right-handed machine and it’s a repetitive movement.”

Boss: “Oh but you’re not too lazy to cut onions?”

Me: “…the rotary cutter can be turned around so I can run it left-handed. I can do everything on the list that uses the rotary cutter but not the tomato machine. [Coworker] can slice the tomatoes when I’m done and I’ll take care of customers to free his hands, to make it fair.”

Boss: “You just said that you were avoiding making sandwiches before and that you’d only do the register.”

Me: “No, just that it’s awkward to make sandwiches left handed, and I’m much slower than usual but the register would be much easier for me. If I have a large order I’ll need to call [Coworker] back up but–”

Boss: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s too complicated. Just do the whole prep list like you’re supposed to.”

(I did not. Later, I’m washing dishes in a three bay sink, so I have my wrap bandage off for a short time to keep it dry.)

Boss: “Your note said you needed to wear a wrap bandage at all times!!! You’re lying to me!”

Me: “Not at all times; only when I need the additional support. I’m elbow deep in hot water. This is actually really soothing.”

Boss: “You’re lying to me about your wrist hurting!”

Me: “I’ll bet you a fistful of ibuprofen and the past week of physical therapy that I’m not!”

(Later:)

Boss: “The chore list says that [Coworker] cleans the bathroom and you do the trash. Why are you doing the bathroom?”

Me: “I can’t lift the trash bags to take them outside, but I can wrap a garbage bag to protect my wrap bandage and clean the bathrooms purely left-handed. All I’m doing is spraying bleach and wiping so…”

Boss: “But that’s not what the chore list says. This is [Coworker]’s nightly tasks.”

Me: “We are dividing the labor based on what I can physically accomplish tonight, as equally as possible.”

Boss: “You’re just being lazy!”

Coworker: *returns inside from taking out the trash* “She’s literally done two-thirds of the cleanup tonight while I sat around and waited for customers to walk in the door. How the hell is she lazy? Wouldn’t she have been better off calling out of work all week?!”

(My boss huffed off, continuing to mutter about me slacking off.)

Multiple Email Fail

| WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Employees, Technology

(I am the only IT support in an office of 35. It is day one of our conversion to a new email spam filter. Some staff don’t adapt well to change.)

Supervisor: *irritated* “I am expecting an important email and I haven’t received it and it’s not in my junk list.”

Me: *sending a message to ISP* “Supervisor missing important email and still cannot login to new spam filter page to check.

ISP: “Okay, let’s see if we can resolve this spam filter issue once and for all today.”

Me: *sending a message to various staff* “Please attempt to login with your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS (e.g. [email protected]) and EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password.”

Staff Member #1: “I DID use my full email address and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Let’s try adding the @organization.org part and tell me what happens.”

Staff Member #1: “OH! Okay, it works now.”

Staff Member #2: “I saw those emails about trying to log in and I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

Me: *thinking* “So instead you forced me to hunt you down via phone and walk you through it.”

Staff Member #3: “Nope, can’t login.”

Me: “Will you share your credentials with ISP so they can test from their end.”

ISP: “We have no problem logging in with these credentials from this end.”

Staff Member #3: “It works now!”

(I go to the supervisor, after two hours of these inane individual conversations with 18 staff members.)

Me: “Everyone but you can successfully log in to the new spam filter page. Could we please double check that you are using your FULL EMAIL ADDRESS, as in [email protected], and your EMAIL PASSWORD, not network password?”

Supervisor: “I AM using my full email address and email password. Still don’t have that important email!”

ISP: *to me* “Can we get the sender to verify the date/time/address sent. Unlikely but possible it was mis-routed. We could try tracking from this end if we had some more details.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Do we know for sure this important email was sent? Can you give me the contact name and phone so I can verify?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I will contact him.”

ISP: *to me* “Can you please attempt to observe Supervisor login to new spam filter and verify he is using the correct credentials?”

(Supervisor enters “first name” and “password”)

Supervisor: “See, it doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, but how about if we use your FULL email address? Can we try adding the @organization.org part?”

(Logs in successfully.)

Supervisor: “Well, I never had to put that part in before!”

Me: *thinking* “What part of ‘FULL EMAIL ADDRESS’ did you not understand?” *actually saying* “”Well… now you do. And now you know it works.”

(Hours pass…)

ISP: *to me* “Any news on the missing important message? We’d like to clear this trouble ticket.”

Me: *to Supervisor* “Any update on verifying details about this missing email?”

Supervisor: *to me* “I have sent a fax and an email message and haven’t heard anything back.”

Me: *thinking* “What the h*** is wrong with using a TELEPHONE?”

(Later I am talking to the big boss.)

Big Boss: “I don’t like the new spam filter interface as much as the old spam filter. And are you going to do some staff training on how to use it?”

Me: *eye twitches*

It’s A Very Long Island

| OH, USA | Geography, Transportation

(I am waiting for a package to be delivered. I check the tracking and see that it went past my city, was sorted at a distant location and sent on to New York. From there it went to Long Island and is out for delivery. This places the package about 10 hours from my home. I call to see what can be done.)

Me: *explains entire situation*

Customer Service Rep: “Tracking number?”

Me: *gives number*

Customer Service Rep: “It’s out for delivery.”

Me: “Can you tell me in what city?”

Customer Service Rep: “Long Island.”

Me: “I don’t live there. It’s ten hours away.”

Customer Service Rep: “It’s out for delivery. It will be delivered to you by 8 pm today.”

Me: “That’s impossible. If the driver gets in his truck right now, drives straight to my house with no stops, he won’t get here until 9:00 pm. That’s no stops of any kind. No breaks, no gas, nothing.”

Customer Service Rep: “It WILL be delivered today.”

Me: “It’s ten hours away.”

Customer Service Rep: “Some of our drivers have longer routes than others. It WILL be delivered before 8 pm. Thank you for calling.”

(Yes, he then hung up and no, my package didn’t arrive that day. Or the next.)

Courting Death

| UK | Family & Kids, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My dad received a speeding ticket half a year ago which I have tried to contest, but for whatever reason was ignored. He is eventually called to court over the matter and I go to represent him. I’ve made it to the courtroom itself without anyone even questioning where my father is, which I think is strange, but alas.)

Magistrate: “Could I ask why [Father] could not attend, and why he has not informed the court prior to this.”

Me: “You have been informed, but just as before no one seems to care.”

Magistrate: “And where is your father, sir?”

Me: “He’s been in a box six feet under for the past ten years.”

Magistrate: *raising his eyebrows* “He’s dead?”

Me: “Well, it would be murder if he wasn’t.”

Magistrate: “And the vehicle he was… ‘seen’ driving?”

Me: “Sold shortly after his funeral. We haven’t heard anything about it until this speeding ticket.”

Magistrate: “And you made no attempt to inform us of his passing?”

Me: “Several actually.”

(I produce copies of the correspondence I have had, along with vehicle documentation proving the car was sold ten years prior. The magistrates look over it, with the woman in the group looking besides herself with how ridiculous it all seems. The prosecution looks rather sheepish as the magistrate who is leading the proceeding lambastes them and the police for wasting time and resources. We don’t even get to my pleading Not Guilty (I still don’t know if you actually say that), before the ticket is thrown out.)

Magistrate: “I do apologise if this entire ordeal has been difficult for your family. And I am sorry for your loss.”

Me: “It’s no problem. I’m sure my dad would found it hilarious if he were still around.”

(We both laughed and I was allowed to leave. That is my one and only time in court. It was a lot more casual than I expected…)