Avoiding A Trainer Wreck

| Awesome Customers, New Hires

(My high school marching band has a tradition of going to a particular restaurant after every football game, just for a time to hang out and relax after a long day. Usually they are well prepared and even reserve seating for every one of us, which is nearly 100 people. Tonight however they are training new staff and are far from ready for our large number of people.)

Server: “Sorry if we’re a little behind tonight. We only have three waitresses on shift and we have to train both.”

Us: “No problem. We are in no hurry so just take all the time you need.”

(Another server waits on us later on.)

Server #2: “Hey, guys, I’m new so please bear with me tonight, okay? I was not prepared for this.”

Me: “Don’t worry. We understand perfectly.”

(Throughout the night our server runs back and forth frantically serving several tables, apologizing for the setback followed by us reassuring her that everything is fine.)

Drum Major: “Hey, guys, let these guys set an example.” *he points at our table where we’ve stacked empty plates, cups, and silverware in an effort to reduce the work and stress for our server*

(My bill comes out to $11.68. I tip around $10, almost the cost of my meal as our server really deserved it after how good a job she was doing. As I leave I tell her one last thing.)

Me: *to [Server #2]* “You did an excellent job tonight. Don’t feel bad about the wait for our food. It was shorter than I’d anticipated. You will do great at this job.”

Server #2: “Oh, thank you! I’ve never been told anything like that before.”

Me: *as I hand her my tip* “You deserve this tip. That was the best service I’ve received here.”


It’s Early Days Yet

| London, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring & Inattentive, Overtime

(I’ve been working at this nursery for a month now, and there have been a lot of problems so far. As the youngest, and least senior member of the team, I always seem to have to take up the slack that my coworkers can’t be bothered to do themselves. At this point it’s about 11:30 am and I’m talking to coworkers about when they’re leaving. I and Coworker #1 should be on late shift together, and we both started work at 11 am.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, no, [Manager] said I could go early because we don’t have many children, so I’m leaving at one.”

Me: “What? Why? You’re on late shift. If you go it’ll just be me and [Manager]. We won’t be in ratio and I’ll have to do everything myself.”

Coworker #1: *shrugs* “Have fun with that.”

(True to her word, she leaves at 1 pm. The other three co-workers leave when their shifts end at 3 and 4 pm, leaving me alone with [Manager] for three hours with seven children. [Manager] spends the entire time complaining about how tired she is and effectively leaves me to care for all seven children until their parents pick them up. As we are not allowed to leave the room unless there are two adults present, I have to wait until quarter to seven when the last child is picked up to empty all the bins, sweep and mop the floors, clean the kitchen, and lock all the doors and windows. At 7:25 pm I finish everything I can do and go upstairs to get my phone from the manager’s office.)

Manager: *looking surprised* “[My Name]! Why are you still here?”


The Highest Of Fives

| NM, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(One of the machines we work with has a sticker warning that it may get hot during operation, but it usually doesn’t. While my coworkers and I are waiting for a digital test on the machine to finish, I impulsively put my hand on it.)

Coworker #1: “Wow, you just have no fear, do you?”

Me: “I’m magical.”

Coworker #1: “Or you have no pain receptors in your hand.”

Me: “No, [Coworker #2] proved I have pain receptors in my hand a while ago.”

Coworker #1: “He did?”

Me: “Really intense high fives…”


Throw Your Request Into Oblivion

| Montréal, Canada | Bad Behavior, Employees, Geeks Rule, Money

(It is a few days after the video game collector’s edition of “Elder Scrolls: Oblivion” has released, which came with a metallic replica of the in-game currency the player uses. For fun and added authenticity, I want to get it gold-plated.)

Me: “Hey there, do you happen to offer goldsmithing services?”

Clerk: “Yes! What would you like to get done? We can do gold plating of various fineness for a wide variety of items!”

Me: “Awesome! What would it cost to do a 24-carat plating on this?” *shows her the coin*

Clerk: *frowns in disapproval* “I’m sorry, but we can’t do that. Defacing currency is actually a crime.”

Me: *stunned for a moment* Oh, no worries, this isn’t a real coin. It’s a replica of an Imperial septim from a video game!”

Clerk: *look at me angrily* “That’s even worse! We are NOT going to help you make fake currency! That’s criminal! Get out of here right now before I call the police!”

Me: *shocked in surprise* “But you don’t get it. It’s a fictional coin. It’s from a country that doesn’t exist! It’s from a videogame!”

Clerk: *not listening* “GET. OUT!”

(I left the place dejected and went to another jewelry store where service was much better. The clerk there asked why I looked so worried when asking him for plating and laughed a good deal when I told him the other clerk’s reaction. They gave my coin a flawless job and it looks gorgeous.)


H2-Slow, Part 2

| York, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m ordering lunch in a greasy take-away, but as I don’t like fizzy drinks I usually order a bottle of water with the meal deal instead of the cup of fizzy drink.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like the two-piece chicken meal with a bottle of water, please.”

Cashier: “We don’t serve bottles with the meal deal, only the cups.”

Me: *thinking they might now have a water dispenser, or are serving tap water* “Oh, okay. I’ll have a cup of water, then?”

Cashier: *proceeds to start filling a cup with [Soda #1] from the machine*

Me: “Uh, no. Not [Soda #1], water.”

Cashier: “We don’t do water, only [Soda #1].”

Me: “What? Yes, you do! You’ve got bottles of water in there!” *points to the fridge where the water bottles are plainly visible*

Cashier: *takes out a bottle of [Soda #1]* “No, see? It’s [Soda #1].”

Me: *pointing and getting exasperated* “NO, the WATER is THERE, above it!”

Cashier: “But… water is [Soda #2]?”

Me: *dumbfounded staring*

Cashier: *realisation hits* “OH! You want WATER!” *gets me a bottle of water*

(I have no idea what the confusion was about, as we both pronounced water the same way. I can only assume he was having a long day and isn’t used to people ordering water with their greasy food.)