A Bad (Den)Mark Against Your Name

| New York City, NY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

(I used to work at this location before I was transferred to a new location that I am much happier with. Every summer, we offer a tourist discount to any tourists who shows proof, like an ID or passport. An older couple and their adult son enter the store.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. Where are you visiting from?”

Adult Son: “We are from Denmark.”

Me: “Nice! We offer a 10% discount to tourists with passport.”

Adult Son: “Okay, great! I’ll look around to see what I would like.”

(I proceed to help him with questions about our products. He ends up spending a large amount, even with the discount.)

Me: “Thanks for shopping. Hope you have a safe trip back home!”

Adult Son: “Thanks! Have a good day.”

(With any promotion going on, corporate has us fill a tracking form to see the progress. I enter how much the tourist spent, and which country the person was from. It was until my former coworker stopped me to ask me this:)

Coworker: “How are you going to tell corporate that Denmark is a country?”

Me: “Because Denmark is a country in Europe…”

Coworker: “No, it’s not! It doesn’t sound like it.”

Me: “Denmark is a country in Europe! Do you want me to show you on a map?”

(I proceeded to pull up an image of the European map, and pointed to where Denmark is. She didn’t say anything, but shrugged her shoulders. I also showed her an article to show additional proof of Denmark’s European validity, which said “Kingdom of Denmark.”)

Coworker: “Oh look, it says ‘Kingdom of Denmark,’ so Denmark is part of England.”

Me: “No, Denmark is not part of the UK.”

Coworker: “But it says right there: ‘Kingdom of Denmark.’”

Me: “Yes, it says ‘Kingdom of Denmark,’ but they aren’t part of the UK. They are their own kingdom.”

Coworker: “Why would they call themselves a kingdom if they aren’t part of England? It sounded like Denmark is somewhere in America. It sounded very American.”

Me: “If I told you I am from York, would you think that I’m from York, Pennsylvania or York, England?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. I would think you’re from Pennsylvania because you speak like an American.”

(At times, my former manager calls the store to check any sales progress if she isn’t working. I answer the phone, and tell her the confusion my coworker had.)

Manager: “It’s okay, corporate doesn’t have to know YOU made a mistake. Just change the country to Italy, and they don’t have to know that you gave the discount to Denmark.”

Me: “But Denmark is a country in Europe!”

Manager: “No, it’s not. Just change it, and you’ll be fine.”

(Needless to say, I didn’t change it, and I didn’t get into trouble. The company opened a new location, of which I made the wise decision to transfer. I now work with a more intelligent crowd that definitely knows where Denmark is!)

First World Responses To First World Problems

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Time

(My boyfriend works in produce and I work retail, so we’re both familiar with the best and worst kinds of customers. So, when we go out to eat and the restaurant is busy we take it in stride. The waiter comes back with our drinks.)

Waiter: “I’m so sorry about the wait.”

Me: “Oh, gosh, we just had to sit here and enjoy each other’s company!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, it was just the worst.”

Waiter: *laughing* “I’m so sorry I made you go through that.”

Working Off The Clock

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Employees, Technology

(My work computer crashes because of a power failure. The power is restored within a few minutes, but when I log into my computer, I notice that my computer clock is about forty minutes slow, so I send an email to our tech guy.)

My Email: “Following this morning’s outage, my computer clock is off and won’t let me reset it. No big deal but if you can try to fix it when you have a chance I’d appreciate it.”

Tech Guy’s Email: “I’m busy right now, sorry, but I’ll look into it when I can.”

(I know our tech guy is routinely very busy, so I let it go and deal with having a slow clock, knowing he’ll get to it as soon as he can. I come back from a break to see that my clock is now reading the correct time. Having been away from my desk, I don’t know if he fixed it or if the glitch just straightened itself out, so I send him an email to cover both bases.)

My Email: “This appears to have been fixed. If you fixed it, thank you. If not, you don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

Tech Guy’s Email: “Sure, I fixed it. Let’s go with that!”

If It’s Not Flu Then Shoo

| SC, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

(After feeling bad and coughing for two days, I am running a fever over 100 degrees and having trouble breathing, so I decide to go to urgent care since something is obviously wrong.)

Doctor: “Well, it’s flu season, so it’s probably just the flu. We’ll test you for that.”

Me: “It doesn’t feel like the flu, but go ahead so we can be sure.”

(After test results come back negative for the flu…)

Doctor: “Okay, it’s not the flu. You probably just have a really bad cold. I’ll give you a prescription for cough medicine and you go home and rest.”

Me: *while gasping* “This is not just a cold. I’m running a fever over 100 and I never run fever. I’m having trouble breathing. Can we please try to test for something else?”

Doctor: “No, I’m sure it’s just a cold. Besides, it’s the end of my shift so I don’t have time to run any more tests.”

Me: “…”

(I went home and tried to rest as he saidm, but could hardly sleep since I couldn’t breathe. After two more days, I returned to urgent care, and got a much more competent doctor who determined very quickly that I had a severe case of pneumonia!)