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Targeted With Military Imprecision

| USA | Military, Time

(I’m training a new employee and this is the second week. They still have a piece of paperwork that needs to be finished with a member of the training department.)

Me: “So what time did [Training Manager] say they would be available for the paperwork?”

Trainee: “She said anytime after a thousand.”

Me: “A thousand? A thousand what? A thousand clicks? A thousand steps? A thousand minutes? A thousand what?”

Trainee: “I don’t know! That’s all her message said, “after a thousand.”

Me: “Okay, can I see the message? I need to figure this out so we can schedule time for you to be away from training.”

(They show me the message; I take a moment to collect myself so I don’t laugh.)

Me: “Okay, that’s ten-hundred. That’s 10:00 am.”

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Too Chicken To Toast It Without

| New Zealand | Employees, Food & Drink

(Our grocery store has an extensive deli which is great for lunch foods, and are known for making great toasted sandwiches. I see a hearty vegetable sandwich that looks great, and indicate my choice to the man at the deli.)

Me: “Oh, could I also get that toasted?”

Cashier: “Ahh… hmm…”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, is the sandwich too wide for the machine?”

Cashier: “No, it’s just, well, it wouldn’t taste that good. It’s just vegetables.”

Me: “Oh, really? It’s the kind of vegetables you usually have hot—”

Cashier: *cutting me off* “NO! IT’S WEIRD! If you want a toasted sandwich, you get the chicken! You don’t toast vegetable sandwiches!”

(I took the sandwich back to my office and toasted it there!)

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You Say Tomato, I Say Lazy

| MD, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I work at gas station with a well-known sub shop. I get stuck with dishes about 90% of the time. So while I’m doing the work nobody else wants to touch, prep is getting done. Or should be. On this day, a box of tomatoes are sitting out when I clock in and I assume someone is about to prep them.)

Me: “Hey, can you put the box of tomatoes away so they don’t go bad?”

(I had one other coworker in the back with me while the others were up front. Note that she’s always on her phone. Always. Including at that moment.)

Coworker: “I think we actually need to prep some and that’s why they’re out.”

Me: “Oh, well, can you start prepping them, then? That box has been sitting there since I got here.”

(All I got in response was a dirty look while holding her phone and eating from a bag of chips.)

Me: “…or don’t. That works, too, I guess.”