My Faith In This Call Is Dropping

| Seattle, WA, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(I have lost Internet connection, so am calling into tech support, which I hate doing, having worked in tech support before. I understand there’s a script and a flow-path they have to take most of the time, but you also have to think before blindly following the script. I have the full cable package: TV, Internet, and phone. For some reason, only the Internet is affected, but the phone works just fine. After calling in and getting the basic account info out of the way, this happens:)

Me: “I have already rebooted my modem and router prior to calling in and I still have no Internet. Also, I am calling from the home phone because I have no cell coverage in my home.”

Tech Support: “Okay. I need you to remove the coax cable and power cable from the back of your modem.”

Me: “I’ll drop the call, then; I am using the home phone.”

Tech Support: “No. I see multiple boxes on your account.”

Me: “Yeah. One modem, one router, one TiVo, and one digital/analog converter. If I unplug my modem, I drop the call.”

Tech Support: “I see. I’m going to send a signal to your modem to reboot it. It will just take a minute to reboot, and then let me know what color the lights are when it’s done rebooting.”

Me: “No, you’ll—”

(And the call dropped…)

Getting Sour About The Sour Cream

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I go through the drive-thru of my local hamburger franchise and order a cheeseburger and a sour cream and chive baked potato. When I get home, the potato is plain. Also, no sour cream, butter, salt, or pepper were included. I call and speak to the manager and explain.)

Manager: “You didn’t tell us you wanted the sour cream and chives for the potato.”

Me: “Wouldn’t ordering a ‘sour cream and chive baked potato’ kind of tip you off that I WANTED sour cream and chives?”

Manager: “No, you have to tell us.”

Me: “It’s in the NAME. Sour cream and chive is right there. I DID say I wanted a sour cream and chive baked potato; how is that not telling you what I wanted?”

Manager: “We can’t read your mind. I can’t credit you anything when you weren’t clear on what you wanted.”

Will Score An ‘F’ (Word) In Your Work-Review

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I get a call from a manager asking about a customer.)

Manager: “I heard you were rude to a customer.”

Me: “No, I very politely told her to go f*** herself.”

The Cake Is A Thigh

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Language & Words

(Someone left a cake in the break room.)

Coworker #1: “Are you gonna have some cake?”

Coworker #2: “No, I’d better not.”

Coworker #1: “Come on, you know you want it.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, but my butt is saying ‘no.’”

Coworker #1: “No, your butt ain’t saying that. It’s saying ‘eat me’!”

Me: “Ew!”

Coworker #1: *gasp* No! I meant ‘eat it’! Eat the cake! Eat the cake!”

The Loco Pit Is From Chy-Na

| New Zealand | Politics

(We’re holding a training day for volunteers at our heritage railway. The instructor tells us that as part of health and safety regulations, each one of us is also responsible for informing others of hazards.)

Volunteer: “Do we have to point out hazards to people we don’t like?”

Instructor: “Yes.”

Me: “So we can’t let Donald Trump fall into the loco pit?”