I Can Clearly See Why I Have A Headache

| Canada | Coworkers, Health & Body

(One of my coworkers/friends has been complaining about a headache all day. Finally…)

Coworker: “Oh, my god, no wonder I have a headache! I’m wearing my glasses and my contacts!”

Me: “Wow. You’re not even four-eyes. You’re like… six-eyes!”

(That became one of her nicknames.)

Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean

| San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

(My older sister is gluten-intolerant, meaning that her intestines get very unhappy when she eats anything with wheat. My uncle, on his way to our home for dinner, decides to pick up a dessert for her to eat.)

Uncle: “Do you have anything that’s gluten-free?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have any free items.”

Uncle: “No, GLUTEN-free. No wheat.”

Employee: “Sir, we don’t serve any free items.”

Uncle: “Gluten-free. You know, no wheat.”

Employee: “Sir, I told you, we don’t have anything for free.”

(This went on until he gave up. My sister didn’t get dessert that evening.)

A Barrel Of Laughs

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work in a commercial bakery as a pie filler. I’m at the bottom of a large barrel of pumpkin pie filling and I have to tip over the barrel to reach the filling that’s left. I’ve been chatting with the woman next to me.)

Me: “If I fall in, you have my permission to laugh first and then pull me out.”

Coworker #1: *laughing* “Okay.”

(A few minutes later she goes on her break and is replaced by another woman.)

Me: “I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told the other lady. If I fall in, you have my permission to laugh first and then pull me out.”

Coworker #2: “Nah, I’ll just go to lunch and see if you’re still there when I get back.”

Very Crepe At Describing Things

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(We had just started up a 2-for-1 sale with our crepes and had seriously misjudged how many people would show up for it. As such I’m the only person scheduled who can make crepes. My boss isn’t that great under pressure. I’ve got about ten crepes to go through at this point, while I’ve got three cooking in front of me.)

Boss: “[My Name]! Did you get the things for the people?!”

Me: “What?”

Boss: “The things! For the people! Did you get them?!”

Me: “What things for what people?”

Boss: *fumbles through all my tickets* “Never mind.” *wanders away*

Can’t Think Outside The Box

| CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I go into our local serve-yourself bakery to buy muffins for some staff meetings. I needed two dozen, but because the meetings are spaced throughout the day, I pack eight muffins into three different boxes.  I get up to the register to pay and the clerk tries to charge me for three dozen.)

Me: “I only have two dozen.”

Clerk: “But you have three boxes so it’s three dozen.”

Me: “Yes, I have three boxes, but there are only eight in each box which equals two dozen.

Clerk: “Nope. Three boxes equals three dozen.”

(After going round and round with her several times, I ask for the manager. She goes into the back to get him and as soon as he comes out, he says without even looking:)

Manager: “Three boxes is three-dozen.”

(I put the boxes on the counter and walked out. I ended up at my local supermarket where I bought two dozen donuts in three boxes without any problems.)

Page 1/512345