A Typ000

| NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Money, Non-Dialogue

I work as a check processor for a bank. My job is to look at a picture of a check that someone has taken for mobile deposit, and input the amount to make sure it is correct. You have to input the amount without a decimal, so a $200.00 check is input as 20000. This is all I do, all day, and I am pressured all the time to go faster and faster.

The president of the bank, who usually stays up on the “executive floor,” will sometimes grace us with his presence and pretend to talk to us. He always calls you “buddy” or “friend,” before asking how your day is and immediately walking away while you answer.

One day, I miss-type a check for $200,000.00 and type 20,000,000.00. Luckily the client called and let us know he suddenly had all this money, and the president came down angrily yelling for “Dale” – not my name. Upon hearing that we didn’t have a Dale he just looked at us all and said, “Don’t let it happen again.” I’ve never been so happy to have a boss not even think enough of me to remember my name…

The Bank That Doesn’t Go The Distance

| USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Transportation

(I recently moved to a city within the same state as my hometown. I had banked with a local credit union my entire life, but the closest branch to my new apartment is over an hour drive away, so I find a new credit union to bank with. It doesn’t go as planned.)

Employee: “Can I ask why you’re switching banks? Are you dissatisfied with our service?”

Me: “No, no, of course not. I’ve been beyond pleased with your services. I’ve even dragged my feet for months to do this because I love banking with you.”

Employee: “Then why the change?”

Me: “I’ve moved a considerable distance. Your closest branch is an hour drive from my home.”

Employee: “Why not make the drive if you like us so much?”

Me: “Well, for starters, I don’t own a car.”

Employee: “Can’t you borrow someone’s?”

Me: “I’m sorry; you seem to not be understanding me. I’m switching banks. Please stop questioning me like this.”

Employee: “I just don’t understand why you’re leaving!”

Me: *completely frustrated* “Because I’m not wasting two hours of my life and a large sum of money to rent a car to do my banking!”

(I eventually got someone else to help me, but I’m still baffled the first employee didn’t understand something as simple as moving!)

Very Personal Banking

| AL, USA | Language & Words

(I am working as a bank teller at a small bank branch. I’m also very pregnant, so sometimes my ‘pregnant brain’ turns on and I forget something, say something strange, or cry at the most ridiculous things. All my coworkers are women and have young kids, so they help me out when I’m having a bad day, and we all laugh when I do anything crazy. I have a younger male customer come in and start walking towards my window. I start to greet him, but instead of “Hi, what can I do for you today?” my pregnant brain takes over and I says.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do to you today? Wait! No! I mean… not do TO you. I meant, oh, wow, this is going downhill fast.”

(That poor man’s face was so red, and all my coworkers laughed at me the rest of the afternoon.)

Parkinson’s Versus Memory Loss

| GA, USA | Health & Body

(I work at a bank opening new accounts. I sit down with a customer in my office, noticing he has barely filled out any of his application.)

Customer: “I hope you can read my handwriting; my Parkinson’s is acting up today.”

Me: “Oh, well, here, let me get that for you.” *fills out rest of application*

(I continue opening the account. The customer is a sweet old man and we are chatting while I work. Once I finish opening accounts, I always go over the deposit slips with the member, since they are a little confusing at first glance.)

Me: “All right, you just fill out the information here, here, here, and here! I’ll be right back with your card!”

(I run to the back. When I come back, I notice the member has only managed to fill out two lines on the slip, and looks very uncomfortable. I suddenly remember that he has Parkinson’s.)

Me: “Oh, my gosh! Sir, I am so sorry! Let me fill that out for you! I completely forgot!”

(I take his slip up to the teller for him, as well as filling out a few extras so he could have them ready next time he came in. He was very sweet about it, but I still feel bad for making the poor guy struggle so much with that slip.)

Reader… My… Lips

| IL, USA | Employees, Technology

(I’m a serious tech nerd. I also don’t have a very good relationship with our IT department, as I’m constantly questioning their old-school methods of doing things. I’m having an issue with my check reader, which has completely stopped working. I’ve called it in. As I’m waiting on customers, I get several pop-ups on my computer that someone is trying to remote log in. I hit “cancel” and continue waiting on my customer. My phone rings…)

Me: “[Bank] in [Town]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

IT Guy: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

IT Guy: “I’m TRYING to fix your reader software, and you keep kicking me out.”

Me: “I’ve got a customer, you didn’t tell me you were trying to remote in, and it’s not a software issue. I need a new reader.”

IT Guy: “I was almost done!”

Me: “And you have to give me a five minute warning if you’re going to remote in. We have a lot of customers today, and you need to give me time to finish up and shut down my station.”

IT Guy: “JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU’RE READY!”

(A few minutes later, I do this. He remotes in and runs a software update. As expected, my reader still malfunctions. I call him back…)

Me: “Yeah, I told you. I need a new reader. This still doesn’t work.”

IT Guy: *loud sigh* “I’ll be over to look at it.”

(I manage to track down a replacement, which works perfectly. The IT guy shows up and makes a great show of taking the bad reader apart while saying how quick this is going to be.)

IT Guy: “Oh… Would you look at that…”

Me: “What?”

IT Guy: “So, the software’s fine. There’s something actually wrong with the reader.”

Me: *sarcastically* “What?! You mean I was right?!”

IT Guy: “Yeah, yeah.”

Me: “I TOLD YOU!”

(He ended up having to take it with him because it was not a quick fix. This did not help my relationship with IT…)

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